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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

Volvo rolls out new R-Design versions of S60, XC60 and new V60

Volvo has put together R-Design packages for its newly facelifted S60, V60 and XC60 models, and for those who want more bark to go with them, there's a power upgrade for the S60 and V60 courtesy of Polestar performance. The aesthetics start with new front and rear fascias, the grille going frameless and Tech Matte Black with a silk metal diagonal bar, the back end getting a finned diffuser and round R-Design tailpipes. On top of that, the S60 and V60 are lowered 15 millimeters and can be fitted with 19-inch versions of the company's Ixion wheel pattern.
The R-Design sport chassis stiffens things up, items like the rear dampers getting 20-percent stiffer while front bushings get a whopping 400-percent stiffer. Inside there's a black headliner, perforated leather mixed with nubuck and contrasting stitching on the sport seats, or a full leather option for those who love their cow, and the Adaptive Digital Display gets a blue hue when set to the Elegance appearance theme.
Buyers of the 3.0-liter T6 engine can add the Polestar performance option, which cranks things up to 329 horsepower instead of the standard 304 hp, and an exclusive accelerator pedal comes with it. More detail can be found in the press release below.

Volvo confirms return of the wagon with V60 headed to US

Turns out that promised new production Volvo model for the United States is indeed the V60 wagon, as we had previously predicted. And it's not terribly surprising, as Volvo has a long and storied history of wagon sales in the US, from the old, loveable 240 to the more recent high-performance V70R. And yet the automaker hasn't had a proper non-XC, non-crossover-style wagon in the US since it pulled the V70 away at the end of the 2010 model year.
"The new Volvo V60 is for people who want the handling of a dynamic sports sedan but need the versatility of a wagon," says Volvo, highlighting the reason many of us on the Autoblog team harbor such fondness for wagons in general.
Volvo is currently showing off the R-Design package for its entire model line, including the V60, at the New York Auto Show. We don't know for sure if the V60 will launch with the R-Design package or if it will come at a later date, and we also see no mention of a Polestar edition, though we're hopeful.

Volvo uncovers widespread cheating by its Chinese dealers

According to a report in Reuters, the findings of an internal investigation conducted by Geely-owned Volvo is that its Chinese dealers vastly overreported their sales numbers in 2011, then even more vastly underreported their 2012 sales figures. About "half the dealers" out of the 151 total outlets gamed the system in order to get incentives for reaching volume objectives, falsely recording about 7,000 more units sold than was actually the case. Instead of 47,140 cars sold in China in 2011, the real number should have been 39,871.
Volvo corporate books a sale once it ships a car to a dealer, so that meant there were 7,000 more cars in inventory than there should have been. To restore the balance, the dealers underreported their 2012 sales while they unloaded those extra cars since, naturally, they couldn't claim the sale again. That made it look like sales declined by 11 percent in 2012, even though they actually increased year-on-year. The adjusted sales number for 2012 totalled 45,896.
Volvo has met with its dealers and told them to stop the deceitful practice. The discrepancies weren't so great that the company plans to restate its historic numbers, but from now on, it apparently plans to occasionally check inventory to make sure the numbers match and that it has a true picture of how individual models are selling.

Volvo confirms unnamed US model reveal for NY show

Tucked into the press release for the "display debut" of the Volvo V60 Plug-In Hybrid at the New York Auto Show, Volvo snuck in a single line announcing that it will also be introducing a new model for the North American market. As much as we'd love to see the svelte V40 on American roads, we're pretty sure the automaker is looking to fill its US station wagon void with the V60.
The 2014 Volvo V60 is part of a comprehensive lineup update that was unveiled earlier this month in Geneva, and it would give Volvo dealers a conventional wagon (not including the XC70) for the first time since the V70 and V50 were killed off. We'll still be keeping our fingers crossed for the stylish V40 hatchback or the fuel-efficient V60 diesel hybrid, but we have to wait until next week to find out for sure.

2015 Volvo XC90 mule spotted testing in the snow

The Volvo XC90 was a big step for the Swedish automaker in 2003, but the midsize crossover has changed very little since its introduction. All that's about to change as Volvo starts its initial development on the 2015 XC90, which we see for the first time in these spy shots showing a cobbled-together XC70.
Like the current XC90, the next-generation model will be both longer and wider than the XC70 - judging by the modifications made to this mule's body - which will continue to allow Volvo's flagship crossover and provide three rows of seating. The next XC90 will ride on a new platform that will eventually make up around two-thirds of all Volvo sales, called the Scalable Product Architecture (SPA).
Our shooter managed to find out the registration number for this mule, which indicated that it was powered by a five-cylinder diesel, but we expect the automaker to start stepping away from its current powertrains with a big push toward smaller engines courtesy of the new Volvo Engine Architecture (VEA). Rumor has it that the future engine lineup for the XC90 will rely heavily on turbocharged four-cylinder engines and eight-speed automatic transmissions, which will likely eliminate or lessen some of the current mills available like a straight-six or V8.

Polestar says goodbye to Volvo C30 in video tribute

The Volvo C30 was put to its eternal bed a few months ago, but the tuners at Polestar have a little more eulogizing to do. The Swedish house of speed that has raced and reworked the little hatch since its introduction in 2006 wants the world to know what they've been through together, so it has encapsulated seven years of around-the-world action into three minutes and 28 seconds of track footage and champagne.
We're still waiting on word of a replacement for the funny little hatch, and while we lament what could have been, the video below proves that the C30 provided plenty of thrills for those outside of the US. And as you can read in our recent review of the Polestar-enhanced road-going C30, it provided a decent amount of fun for those of us in the States, as well.

Volvo considering offering V60 wagon in the US

For the 2014 model year, the Volvo product line is shrinking to just five models in the United States: the S60, S80, XC60, XC70 and XC90. This comes following the death of the C30 hatchback and C70 convertible, which are being discontinued after the 2013 model year. The S40 sedan and V50 wagon were axed two years ago, as was the larger V70.
That may not be the case, however. According to Automotive News, Volvo is rethinking its decision to not sell the V60 wagon, pictured, in the United States. The automaker had originally decided to not offer the V60 in our market due to declining American wagon sales. A decision is expected to be made sometime in the next quarter, and if approved, sales of the V60 could begin in the US within the next year.
At the Geneva Motor Show last week, Volvo showed off refreshed versions of nearly every vehicle in its lineup. In the US, these will be the only changes coming to the Volvo brand over the next two years. The next big product launch in the States will be the all-new XC90 crossover, developed under new parent company Geely. The range-topping SUV will ride on the company's new flexible SPA platform, which will also underpin the next-generation versions of the S60, S80 and XC60.

Five vehicles named Top Safety Pick+ including new Civic, MKZ

In an attempt to help push vehicle safety to a higher level, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety created a stricter Top Safety Pick+ rating last year, which incorporates a brutal small overlap test and requires cars to get Good ratings in four out of the five categories (and no less than Acceptable in the fifth). Joining the list of the safest cars of 2013, the 2013 Volvo XC60, Lincoln MKZ, Honda Civic (sedan and coupe) and the 2014 Mazda6 have all received the coveted TSP+ rating.
The Mazda6 and Lincoln MKZ have both been completely redesigned, and both received Acceptable ratings in the small overlap test. The Honda Civic, coming off its emergency refresh for 2013, is the first small car to be subjected to the small overlap test, and IIHS says that one of the car's many upgrades includes a stiffer front structure allowing it to receive Good ratings in all categories. Similarly, the XC60 gets all Good ratings thanks to, according to IIHS, Volvo updating the airbag software allowing the side airbags to inflate during the small overlap test.
The 2014 Subaru Forester has not yet been subjected to the small overlap test, so it must make do with just a Top Safety Pick rating until the IIHS tests small utility vehicles, which is expected to happen later in the spring.

Volvos will brake for bicyclists with new detection technology

Anyone who pedals a bicycle knows that one of the biggest dangers to riders is a motorized vehicle - Volvo estimates that nearly 50 percent of all cyclists killed in European traffic have collided with a car. In the United States alone, 618 riders lost their lives in bicycle/motor vehicle crashes in 2010, and the number of injuries surpassed 52,000.
To help drop those numbers, Volvo has just announced Cyclist Detection with full auto brake - a technology that detects and automatically applies a vehicle's brakes when a cyclist swerves in front of a moving car. The basic components of the system include a radar unit integrated into the front grille, a camera fitted in front of the interior rear-view mirror and a central control unit. The radar is tasked with seeing obstacles in front of the vehicle and calculating distance, while the camera is responsible to determine what the object is. The central control unit, with rapid processing capabilities, monitors and evaluates the situation.
The technology, which will be sold bundled with its Pedestrian Detection and called Pedestrian and Cyclist Detection, will automatically apply full braking when both the radar and camera confirm a pedestrian or cyclist are in the immediate path of the vehicle. According to the automaker, the technology will be offered on the Volvo V40, S60, V60, XC60, V70, XC70 and S80 models from mid-May in 2013.