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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

Volvo returns to profitability

Ford sold Volvo to Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Limited in 2010. Just two years later, Geely announced an $11-billion investment in the Swedish carmaker, its charismatic fugleman Li Shifu saying, "We want to revive Volvo and give the brand its strength back." Two years later, after having introduced the Concept XC Coupe at the Detroit Auto Show this week, Volvo CEO Håkan Samuelsson (above, second from right) declared the company profitable again after a solid 2013 and predicted a positive 2014.
Intending to break even on operating profit in 2013, Volvo exceeded expectations and landed on the plus side due to a mix of factors. US sales declined 10.1 percent for the year to 61,233, that number still making us Volvo's largest market, but Chinese sales were up nearly 46 percent to 61,146 units, and even its home market saw a bump of 0.8 percent; total sales for the year were 427,840, a margin of 1.4-percent over the previous year. Volvo was able to do more with the tiny gain and reverse its half-year operating loss because of a global cost restructuring and thorough revamp of its Chinese distribution network. An announcement of 2013's financial results will come in March.
Bullishness on 2014 comes from the company's intention to focus on its two biggest markets with new models, new technology and more spending. The first product of an independent Volvo, the new XC90, will be revealed later this year on the new SPA architecture. On top of the Sensus Connect infotainment system, Volvo will add driver-aid systems like adaptive cruise control with steer assist and night-time pedestrian detection. It also has a new North American CEO and will spend more on marketing and communications here. In China it will begin to feel more effect from the two Chinese factories opened last year - it has three in the country - and, if need be, can take advantage of more advantageous exchange rates by exporting from China instead of the US. Said Samuelsson of what he expects in the US in 2014, "we will outperform the market."

Volvo V90 wagon is beautiful, but it's dead in America [UPDATE]

Update: Roadshow reported that the V60 T5 variant is joining the V90 on its way out the door for the 2022 model year. However, the V60 T8 Polestar Engineered and V60 Cross Country will continue on, ensuring that the V60 nameplate does not disappear entirely from the U.S. We contacted Volvo about the news, and a spokesperson confirmed Roadshow's report. We're glad to hear that the performance variant of Volvo's V60 is sticking around, and if you want something more affordable, the lovely and lifted V60 Cross Country can check that box. The original story continues below.   Volvo, a brand practically synonymous with wagons in the U.S., is pulling the plug on one of the last great examples of the form. For Americans, at least. The beautiful and excellent Volvo V90 wagon will no longer be sold in America after the 2021 model year. Its demise was reported by Motor Trend, which didn't quote a source, so we reached out to Volvo for the official word: "Volvo will offer V90 Cross Country in MY22, but simplify the range and no longer offer the standard V90." The move has been foreshadowed for a long time, as Volvo has moved only 1,453 V90s from the car's debut in 2017 through the end of the 2020 model year. The figures don't break out the standard V90 versus the lifted V90 Cross Country, but we would bet that the V90 portion of that figure is infinitesimal.  As we've said in the past, it's a chicken-and-egg problem: The V90 wagon is available only via special order and is not marketed; you can't just walk onto a Volvo lot and choose from stock, as you can Volvo's hot-selling SUVs. Sales of the wagon have been slow for a long time, and earlier this year Volvo head honcho Hakan Samuelsson said the company would move away from wagons and into the arms of the in-demand crossovers. To be clear, the V90 Cross Country will still be available, as will the smaller V60 T8 Polestar Engineered wagon and V60 Cross Country. The loss is a gut-punch to wagon-loving enthusiasts. The V90 was universally well-reviewed, a competent and competitive car — and stunning to behold. It was a pure wagon form, unfettered by unnecessarily lifted suspensions or extra body cladding to make it appear more rugged. It handled better than its crossover cousins thanks to a lower center of gravity, and carried the torch for a long line of great wagons. We are in an arms race for taller, bulkier cars that handle worse and are indistinguishable from one another.