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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

Top 10 small cars with the longest total driving range

Editor's Note: Since this article was originally posted in the spring of 2015, much has changed in the automotive landscape, especially among those shopping for small car economy. With thanks to Volkswagen for their blatant cheating – and subsequent cover-up – on diesel emissions, the largest player in the diesel passenger car segment isn't playing – they're paying; billions are going for both car buybacks and federally-imposed penalties. And for a few VW execs there exists the very real possibility of jail. With the absence of a big player and the abrupt entrance – via Chevy's new Bolt – of an affordable EV with 200+ miles of range, we've limited the diesel listings to Jaguar's new XE. And for those wanting an updated look at efficiency and range, Autoblog has it – or the EPA has it. Long before electric vehicles were part of the mainstream conversation, car lovers and skinflints alike would boast about the total range of their vehicles. There's something about getting farther down the road on one tank of gas that inflames the competitive spirit, almost as much as horsepower output or top speed. Of course, the vehicles with the very best range on today's market are almost all big trucks and SUVs; virtually all have the ability to carry massive reserves of fuel. Top up a standard Chevy Suburban and you can expect to travel almost 700 miles (you'll need to stop before the Suburban stops...), while a diesel-fed Jeep Grand Cherokee manages almost as many. But what about vehicles that are smaller? The EPA has, essentially, three classifications for 'small' vehicles: Minicompact, Subcompact and Compact. All three are measured based on interior volume, meaning that some cars with rather large exterior dimensions and engines slot in next to traditional small cars. But even though impressive GT coupes from Porsche, Bentley and Mercedes-Benz may have much larger gas tanks to feed their powerful engines, that capacity is offset by higher rates of consumption... in most cases. We used the EPA's Fuel Economy Guide for model year 2017 cars as a start, calculating the official highway miles per gallon rating with each vehicle's tank capacity. The resulting numbers aren't necessarily real world, but they do offer a spectrum for total theoretical range. The eventual top ten surprised me on a few occasions, and comprised quite a varied list of vehicles. 10.

VW V-Charge is clever automated EV parking, charging tech

Automated parking is another niche that Volkswagen wants to rule, so the German carmaker has teamed up with five technology partners to develop its V-Charge system. In short, V-Charge allows an owner to use a smartphone app to send his car to find a parking space and return when requested. If it's an electric car, it will search for an open inductive charging spot, and when fully charged it won't squat over the charger, but will move to find a conventional parking spot. Valet Charge uses four wide-angle cameras, three stereo cameras, 12 ultrasonic sensors, and car-to-infrastructure protocols to avoid obstacles as it finds its way around, including areas like parking garages where GPS won't work. VW says it's been careful to use off-the-shelf sensors and technologies that are already installed in current cars, since it has an eye on near-term implementation of V-Charge. It's impossible to know what "near-term" means, but the sooner we can avoid the valet and trust our car to fetch a spot and come back to us like a faithful pet, the better. The video above shows it at work, the press release below has all the details. 'V-Charge': Volkswagen pushes development of automated parking and charging of electric vehicles - Parking spaces driven to fully automatically - Electric vehicles charged automatically - V-Charge places only minor demands on car park infrastructure - Intelligent form of valet parking Volkswagen aspires to holding the leading position in the field of automated parking. A look into the near future of automated parking is given by 'V-Charge', an EU research project, in which six national and international partners are jointly developing new technologies. Its focus is on automating the search for a parking space and on the charging of electric vehicles. The best part about it is that the vehicle not only automatically looks for an empty parking space, but that it finds an empty space with charging infrastructure and inductively charges its battery. Once the charging process is finished, it automatically frees up the charging bay for another electric vehicle and looks for a conventional parking space. 'V-Charge' stands for Valet Charge and is pointing the way to the future of automated parking. Wolfsburg, 14 July 2015 - In the USA especially, convenient valet parking is a big hit: you pull up in your car right outside your destination, valet service personnel park it for you and have it brought around again as and when you need it.