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Clever video selling Saturn Ion "sex machine" will catch your eye

"When I think of the most impressive, industry changing, earth shattering vehicles of recent history, the first car that comes to my mind is the 2004 Saturn Ion Coupe." So says Brad Holt of Dallas, Texas. And he's right, clearly. One look at the specific specimen Holt is selling will be enough to convince you that the car "will absolutely tickle every one of your fancies," as claimed by the seller himself.
We suggest you watch the video below to see just how perfectly Holt's sex machine will fit into your life. The end result will no doubt be exactly as Holt ends his video: "You need it. Like a lot." You can also read more info from Brad in an interview here. If only our offices were a little closer to Dallas...

GM recalling 686k Lambda-platform models for hatch repair

General Motors is recalling 686,287 units of its Lambda platform crossovers. On models equipped with a power rear hatch the system can potentially fail. This campaign includes the 2008-2012 Buick Enclave, 2009-2012 Chevrolet Traverse, 2007-2012 GMC Acadia, and 2007-2010 Saturn Outlook. According to GM's documents to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (as a PDF), dirt can get into a portion of the strut that holds up the hatch and cause the part to prematurely fail. There's a redundancy in place called the Prop Rod Recovery system that's designed to shut the liftgate if there's a malfunction. However, if the breakdown happens too quickly after the hatch is opened the prop rod might not work the way it's supposed to. If someone were in the way of the falling liftgate, they could be hurt. For the repair, dealers will update the software for the power liftgate actuator motor control unit to prevent the hatch from closing so quickly. They'll also check the operation of the system afterward. Related Video: RECALL Subject : Liftgate Struts may Fail and Liftgate may Fall Report Receipt Date: JUN 30, 2015 NHTSA Campaign Number: 15V415000 Component(s): STRUCTURE Potential Number of Units Affected: 686,287 All Products Associated with this Recall Vehicle Make Model Model Year(s) BUICK ENCLAVE 2008-2012 CHEVROLET TRAVERSE 2009-2012 GMC ACADIA 2007-2012 SATURN OUTLOOK 2007-2010 Details Manufacturer: General Motors LLC SUMMARY: General Motors LLC (GM) is recalling certain model year 2008-2012 Buick Enclave vehicles manufactured January 3, 2007, to February 29, 2012, 2009-2012 Chevrolet Traverse vehicles manufactured July 6, 2008, to February 29, 2012, 2007-2012 GMC Acadia vehicles manufactured September 15, 2006, to February 29, 2012, and 2007-2010 Saturn Outlook vehicles manufactured August 17, 2006, to March 18, 2010. The affected vehicles, equipped with the power liftgate option, have gas struts that hold the power liftgate up when open. These struts may prematurely wear and the open liftgate may suddenly fall. CONSEQUENCE: If the open liftgate unexpectedly falls, it may strike a person, increasing their risk of injury. REMEDY: GM will notify owners, and dealers will update the software for the power liftgate actuator motor control unit so that the motor will prevent the rapid closing of the lift gate, free of charge. The manufacturer has not yet provided a notification schedule.

VIDEO: Saturn's demise? We blame Jim Gaffigan*

Click above to view the video after the jump
When the deal to sell Saturn to Penske Automotive fell through, there were likely a lot of surprised people at General Motors' Detroit, MI headquarters. Penske released a statement saying that the reason the deal fell through after months of good faith negotiations was that a suitable post-GM supply of vehicles could not be found. However, after reacquainting ourselves with over eight minutes of outtakes from Jim Gaffigan's old Saturn commercial, we're thinking the comedic pitchman is to blame.