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Mark Webber treats Maria Sharapova to a Porsche 918 Spyder joyride

We don't much like Mark Webber right now. Part of being a racing driver is dealing with promotional stuff. It's not hard to find a driver that can't stand all this nonsense, whether it be promoting a product, meeting investors or attending some obscure event. Even a driver of Webber's caliber - a former Formula One driver for Red Bull Racing and a member of Porsche's factory Le Mans team - has to serve his time at the promo events.
Somehow, though, we don't think the Aussie driver minds this particular promo detail. In the video below, Webber attends the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart. He then takes tennis superstar Maria Sharapova out for a spin behind the wheel of the Porsche 918 Spyder. The level of jealousy at the Autoblog office is palpable.
Take a look below for the video. And as we're super jealous of Mr. Webber, hop into Comments and caption the above photo based on what you think he's saying to Maria. Bonus points if you can work "vegemite" into the caption.

This FL man accused of stealing drivers licenses has best tattoo ever

Bentley and Porsche are two of the jewels in Volkswagen Group's luxury brand crown, but in Florida they also have a very tenuous connection with crime. With his multiple face and neck tattoos, including a Bentley logo right between his eyes, Derek Denesevich (pictured above) has been charged with the surprising crime of alleged identity theft. He recently surrendered to a Florida court, and could face seven years in prison, if convicted.
You might wonder where Porsche fits into this. According to the Sun Sentinel, Denesevich's accomplice was one Porscha Kyles, who worked for the Broward Clerk of Courts. She allegedly used her access to driver's license records to steal information and sell it to Denesevich. He is then accused of filing fraudulent income taxes to recoup the refund checks.
According to the Sentinel, Kyles has already pleaded guilty to conspiracy and identity theft and was sentenced to three years and one day in prison. The duo reportedly stole over 100 identities and made at least $120,000. Scroll down for a video about this pair of auto-related criminals.

Buyers resent low inventories, prices over MSRP, study says

Vehicle inventory low, vehicle transaction prices high, customers fretting … welcome, J.D. Power, to the era of supply and demand. In a recently published survey from one of the auto industryÂ’s top analytical firms, findings show that customers' satisfaction with vehicle purchases in the United States this year has dipped for the first time in 10 years. The 2022 U.S. Sales Satisfaction Index (SSI) Study found that overall sales satisfaction has dropped to 786 (on a 1,000-point scale) from 789 in 2021. In that year, higher than expected trade-in values softened the effect of new vehicle price increases. But in 2022, on top of trade-in prices shrinking, many dealers elected to charge more than the ManufacturerÂ’s Suggested Retail Price, a factor that did not sit well with buyers. “When dealers charge more than MSRP, particularly with long-term loyal customers, they risk a potential long-term negative effect on customer advocacy and service business," said Chris Sutton, vice president of automotive retail at J.D. Power. Satisfaction among buyers who paid more than sticker price is 757, while satisfaction among those who paid the sticker price or less is 850, the Power report said. The lack of dealership inventory was also a customer irritant, J.D. Power found, a point that automakers and their dealers may want to consider. Many have maintained, or considered maintaining, a smaller inventory in the wake of the pandemic, keeping costs down and driving more customers toward factory orders. Regarding those consumers shopping for electric vehicles, the survey said that more than a third of them “failed to get instruction on EV charging before they left the dealership, which notably affects satisfaction.” Said Sutton, “Salespeople donÂ’t need to show gas-powered vehicle buyers how to fill their tank, but they do need to show EV buyers how to charge their vehicle.” There are positives to the Power conclusions, however, especially for Alfa Romeo dealers. The Italian brand ranked highest in customer satisfaction among premium brands with a score of 833, with Porsche a very close second (831) and Lexus (819) third. Alfa is on something of a roll these days, with its compact Tonale crossover due for release in the spring, and a new sports car in the works. Meanwhile, in PowerÂ’s “mainstream brand”” segment, Buick ranked first with a score of 825, followed by Dodge (816) and Subaru (804), all performing higher than the industry average.