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Mark Webber treats Maria Sharapova to a Porsche 918 Spyder joyride

We don't much like Mark Webber right now. Part of being a racing driver is dealing with promotional stuff. It's not hard to find a driver that can't stand all this nonsense, whether it be promoting a product, meeting investors or attending some obscure event. Even a driver of Webber's caliber - a former Formula One driver for Red Bull Racing and a member of Porsche's factory Le Mans team - has to serve his time at the promo events.
Somehow, though, we don't think the Aussie driver minds this particular promo detail. In the video below, Webber attends the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart. He then takes tennis superstar Maria Sharapova out for a spin behind the wheel of the Porsche 918 Spyder. The level of jealousy at the Autoblog office is palpable.
Take a look below for the video. And as we're super jealous of Mr. Webber, hop into Comments and caption the above photo based on what you think he's saying to Maria. Bonus points if you can work "vegemite" into the caption.

Next-generation Panamera will spawn variants, Sport Turismo in the running

A few years ago it took actual willpower not to consider what kinds of cool derivatives Porsche could make with the Panamera. Our fancies were helped by patent drawings of a Panamera convertible, rumors of a two-door 928 GT and internal Porsche sketches of such a car, and report after report after report that the current, second-generation Panamera would begin to expand the family. That hasn't happened, but according to a new report in Auto Express, the next Panamera will be the one to begin the bifurcation. Wolfgang Hatz, the brand's head of research and development, told the mag that, "We have prepared it for a lot of derivatives, personally I like very much the Sport Turismo." The Panamera Sport Turismo, remember, was the hybrid, concept wagon that rolled into the 2012 Paris Motor Show and made everyone ask, "Why didn't you build this design from the beginning?" It could have been Hatz's English, but after professing his ardor for the Sport Turismo, the executive said, "But there is a good chance for more derivatives." We're not sure if that means the Sport Turismo is all but approved, or if he was speaking of the third generation Panamera's new MSB platform in general. Even though Hatz mentioned a coupe and convertible, it sounds like that latter variant won't be happening, Hatz saying that the brand already has the Boxster and 911 Cabriolet. We're willing to forgive that omission – who's really looking for a four-door convertible, anyway? – and welcome the Sport Turismo first if Hatz will please please please get us a new 928.

Porsche tuners 9ff, SpeedArt going bankrupt

Times are tough in Europe right now, and that unfortunately has reaped disastrous consequences for some of its smallest niche automakers. Gumpert, Wiesmann, Artega and Lola have all filed for bankruptcy this year, and it appears that tuners are not immune to the tough times, either.
Word coming in from across the pond suggests that 9ff and SpeedArt - two of the biggest names in Porsche tuning - have filed for bankruptcy as well. 9ff is best known for the GT9, a radical hypercar barely based on the 911, while SpeedArt was once of the foremost tuners of Porsches.
Fortunately there are still plenty of tuners ready to take a wrench to your Elfen, but the reported demise of these two makes the market a little bit smaller and - for Porsche enthusiasts - maybe the world a little bit lonelier, too.