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This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

This or That: 2005 Chrysler Crossfire SRT6 vs. 1984 Pontiac Fiero

Welcome to another round of This or That, where two Autoblog editors pick a topic, pick a side and pull no punches. Last round pitted yours truly against Associate Editor Brandon Turkus, and my chosen VW Vanagon Syncro narrowly defeated Brandon's 1987 Land Rover. In fact, it was, by far, the closest round we've seen, with 1,907 voters seeing things my way (for 50.8 percent of the vote) versus 1,848 votes for Brandon's Rover (49.2 percent). Sweet, sweet victory! For this latest round of This or That, I've roped Editor Greg Migliore into what I think is a rather fun debate. We've each chosen our favorite terrible cars, setting a price limit of $10,000 to make sure neither of us went too crazy with our automotive atrocities. I think we've both chosen terribly... and I mean that in the best way possible. 2005 Chrysler Crossfire SRT6 Jeremy Korzeniewski: Why It's Terrible: Taken in isolation, the Chrysler Crossfire isn't necessarily a terrible car. In fact, it drives pretty darn well, and there's a lot of solid engineering under its slinky shape. Problem is, that engineering was already rather long in the tooth well before Chrysler ever got its hands on it, having come from Mercedes-Benz, which used the basic chassis and drivetrain in a previous version of its SLK coupe and roadster. Granted, the SLK was an okay car, too, but even when new, it hardly set the world on fire with sporty driving dynamics. Chrysler took these decent-but-no-more bits and pieces from the Mercedes parts bin – remember, this car was conceived in the disastrous Merger Of Equals days – and covered them with a rather attractive hard-candy shell. Unfortunately, the super sporty shape wrote checks in the minds of buyers that its well-worn mechanicals were simply unable to cash, though an injection of power courtesy of a supercharged V6 engine in the SRT6 model, as seen here, certainly helped ease some of those woes. In the end, Chrysler was left with a so-called halo car that looked the part but never quite performed the part. It was almost universally panned by critics as an overpriced parts-bin special, which, I must add, was damningly accurate. As a result, sales were very slow, and within the first few months, dealers were clearancing the car at cut-rate prices, just to keep them from taking up too much of the showroom floor. Why It's Not That Terrible, After All: I can speak from personal experience when discussing the Chrysler Crossfire. You see, I owned one. Well, sort of...

Burt Reynolds' movie re-creations fetch $379,500 in Vegas

The recent death of Hollywood legend and automotive enthusiast Burt Reynolds helped drive up the value of four of his former cars from the 1970s and '80s, which sold last weekend at Barrett-Jackson's Las Vegas auction for a combined $379,500. Reynolds, who died Sept. 6 at age 82, had offered three Pontiac Trans Ams — two of them re-creations of the cars he drove in "Smokey and the Bandit" and "Hooper" and the third from 1984 used to promote his United States Football League team, the Tampa Bay Bandits. The fourth was a 1978 Chevrolet R30 pickup truck, styled like the one featured in "Cannonball Run." The "Bandit" re-creation, a 1978 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am that Reynolds ordered to be as "movie-correct" as possible but featuring a custom-built 200-4R automatic transmission, sold for $192,500. The car features a freshly built Pontiac 400 cubic-inch V8 mated to a four-speed automatic and featuring all-new Butler Performance parts and air-conditioning components. Reynolds reportedly said this was his favorite car from his films, and it even came with an authentic movie-correct CB radio and CB antenna. The red retro-rocket "Hooper" '78 Firebird, with a 403 cubic-inch V8 and a three-speed automatic, hammered for $88,000. By comparison, a gold 1978 Trans Am also offered at the Las Vegas auction but not connected to Reynolds fetched $27,500. The 1987 Chevy R30 pickup was a re-creation of the Indy Hauler pace truck seen jumping over a moving freight train in "Cannonball Run." It hammered for $49,500. The fourth car never appeared in any of Reynolds' films but is instead the only surviving example of two Trans Ams used to promote the Tampa Bay Bandits of the now-defunct USFL, having been driven out onto the field by Reynolds and his late friend and co-star, Jerry Reed, during opening day one season. It also sold for $49,500. At the Barrett-Jackson Scottsdale Auction in 2016, Reynolds accompanied a 1977 Trans Am used to promote "Bandit" onto the auction block. That car sold for $550,000. Related Video: Featured Gallery Burt Reynolds 2018 Barrett-Jackson Las Vegas Auction Image Credit: Barrett-Jackson Celebrities Chevrolet Pontiac Truck Coupe Performance celebrity pontiac trans am pontiac firebird burt reynolds