1981 Pontiac Firebird Turbo Formula 26,000 Miles on 2040-cars

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A case for Pontiac's return

Sadly, many brands have disappeared off of the automotive landscape over the decades. Many people have imagined over the years of restarting defunct automotive brands. A few of those dreamers even made prototypes to shop around and to established connections with investors. But, alas poor Yorick, however valiant an effort, many brands are shuttered for good, rarely to be heard of again except in historical tales or maybe seen in car shows. So, what do you do when you win the lottery? Not just any lottery... In fact, it is a lottery that takes care of you and your loved ones for life? You and your family don't have to work, ever. You can give to charity, pay other people to do those projects that you've been putting off, and so on and so on. But, you're still a Car Nut right? There begins the conundrum. Do you buy and fix cars, new premium cars, old muscle cars, or classics, or maybe, just maybe, do you buy the rights to an old departed automotive brand and bring it back to life. Hmm. Which brand? The problem with the old Pontiac was that it was an additional badge engineered vehicle in the portfolio of GM. The meant the brand was diluted by competition from its own parent company, in addition to the competition outside the camp. So, if it were to come back, it would have to be different. Yet, it would still need to keep true to its roots at the same time in order to wake up its armies of existing fans. Even those that aren't fans of Pontiac cannot deny that Pontiac has a long heritage of legendary vehicles. So do Packard, and Studebaker, and others. So, why would a lottery winner choose Pontiac as the marque to bring back? That's easy! Pontiac's long heritage is closely tied to performance vehicles that made many of a teenager drool. Even more important though is that Pontiac is still fresh on people's minds. The brand itself is only recently departed. So, Boomers, Generation X, and Millenials all would all be able to identify with it as opposed to brand names that disappeared multiple decades ago and that now have a more limited appeal. The return of Pontiac couldn't just be another launch of a badge engineered vehicle. It would have to be performance oriented, yes. But, it would have to be unique in some way, a niche brand. What niche though? Look at the automotive landscape now and you see that Tesla is the one out there grabbing at the wide open electric niche with success.

Junkyard Gem: 2002 Pontiac Aztek

The General's Pontiac Division sold the Aztek for the 2001 through 2005 model years, and — despite enjoying something of a cultural rebirth in recent years — it is generally considered to be one of the worst cars of all time. The idea of using a minivan platform as the basis for a rough-and-tough-looking crossover with plenty of outdoor-lifestyle amenities wasn't the problem, since many vehicle manufacturers have printed bales of money using that formula. What doomed the Aztek was its hideous appearance and sticker price too lofty for its underemployed-at-the-time Generation X target demographic. Still, the Aztek proved to be perfectly suited for the outdoor activities that Coloradans love: hiking, camping, fishing, skiing, hauling mud-caked golden retrievers around, etc., and so you'll still find lots of Azteks on the roads of the Centennial State. Here's an Aztek Yellow Aztek (yes, that's really the paint color's official title) residing just a few rows from a '76 Checker Taxicab in a Denver self-service yard. Sure, it does look like a vehicle built to the specifications of a six-year-old who decreed a mashup between a Datsun F-10 and a Fisher-Price Little People Travel Together Airplane, but so what? There's a built-in air compressor to blow up your inflatable rafts and volleyballs, a tent attachment that turns the rear of the van into a camper, 12-volt power plugs all over the vehicle (years before this became commonplace on ordinary minivans and SUVs), and running-gear commonality with a jillion Ventures, Silhouettes, Montanas and Trans Sports. Buick managed to de-uglify the Aztek (somewhat) and sold it as the Rendezvous through 2007, but the Aztek never could win over many people with this face. I see plenty of Azteks and Rendezvouses in Denver-area wrecking yards, and I've documented a handful over the years. This one came fully loaded from the factory, with the Corvette-style heads-up display in full effect. The center console was a removable cooler, which was a great idea Â… except for the fact that this cooler holds five standard 12-ounce cans. Michigan residents tell me that this must have been intentional on the part of the Detroit-based Aztek designers, because Michiganders are expected to chug one beer out of a sixer as they walk from the liquor store to the car in the parking lot Â… which makes me extra cautious whenever I'm driving in the Wolverine State.

Watch this garbage truck consume a Pontiac Grand Am

When an old car or truck offers its dying breath in your driveway and you just don't have the financial or mechanical wherewithal to resuscitate it yet again, you traditionally have to go to the trouble of calling a flatbed or a tow truck to come haul it away. That usually helps to put a few bucks in your wallet and helps recycle some of the vehicle's parts, but the transaction doesn't seem as final or perversely satisfying as the dispatch service that this New Way Cobra Magnum garbage truck offers.
Okay, okay, so this refuse hauler isn't actually designed for this sort of thing, but it's oddly comforting to know that a sanitation truck can compact a hapless Pontiac Grand Am into oblivion. Next time, we won't feel so guilty about slipping that rusty charcoal grille onto the curb next to the cans on garbage day. Watch the carnage by scrolling below.