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Watch this mobility scooter drag race a Nissan Skyline with surprising results

Okay, so we may not be talking about a classic, all-conquering Nissan Skyline GT-R here. But the sub-Godzilla-trim Nissan Skyline GTS-T is still a car, after all. And, as a car, if someone asked you to lay a bet on it versus a mobility scooter (Hoveround, Rascal, you know the type) in a drag race, you'd probably take that action.
Unless, of course, that drag race were happening on YouTube, in which case you'd put your money away and open up your laptop. On the Internet it's best to never bet against the wild underdog.
We don't mean to spoil the following video for you, but come on. When you saw Skyline vs. Scooter in that headline, you had a pretty good idea of what was to come, didn't you. Needless to say, mobility scooters fitted with Suzuki GSX-600F engines are pretty quick. Strap in and scroll down.

Man sells testicle to buy Nissan 370Z

We aren't entirely sure what's stranger about this story - that a man actually sold a vital piece of his manhood for a car, or that he did it for a Nissan 370Z. That's not to discredit the trusty Fairlady, a car we generally like, but that if we were to do what Mark Parisi did and sell one of his testicles to science, we'd be asking for a helluva lot more than $35,000.
But Parisi did just that, and announced live on CBS' The Doctors (we really can't make this up) that the sale of his nut would go towards the purchase of a Z. According to our friends Down Under (Australia, get your mind out of the gutter), $35K is the going rate for one slightly used testicle, so if you get nothing else from this story, gentlemen, know that you have $70,000 swinging between your legs.

Nissan plans to slash May car output in Japan by 78%

TOKYO — Nissan plans to slash the number of cars it produces at home in May by 78% from last year, as the impact of the coronavirus shakes the troubled automaker which has already been struggling with falling sales. As global automakers reel from plunging sales amid lockdowns imposed in many countries to curb the spread of the virus, the hit is particularly severe for Nissan, whose profitability has been deteriorating as it grapples with the turmoil that followed the ousting of former Chairman Carlos Ghosn. Nissan plans to manufacture around 13,400 vehicles next month, according to documents seen by Reuters, compared with nearly 61,000 units made in May last year. The cut represents a big hit to Nissan's plant in Kyushu, southern Japan, which the automaker plans to operate on a single shift for much of this month and all of next month, due to a lack of demand for the Rogue Sport SUV crossover model, according to the documents, which are not public. Output will decline 70% from initial plans to build around 44,800 units. In June, domestic production will be cut to 33,700 vehicles, a drop from around 63,700 units last year, and down 43% from a previous plan for around 59,300. Nissan declined to comment on its production plans. The automaker has stopped production at its plant in Tochigi, north of Tokyo, since early April, and plans to keep output suspended through the end of May. Periodic stoppages at Nissan's Oppama plant in Kanagawa Prefecture have been common since earlier this month. The coronavirus pandemic has piled urgency on Nissan's efforts to downsize, after two years of falling sales, deteriorating margins and depleting cash reserves has forced the company to restructure. Nissan's management has become convinced that the company needs to be much smaller and its latest recovery plan due next month will likely assume a cut of 1 million cars to its annual sales target, senior company officials told Reuters earlier this month. Automaking partner Mitsubishi, also suffering from a cut to demand for its cars, is planning to slash domestic output by nearly one-third over the next two months. As both Nissan and Mitsubishi struggle with tanking sales, production plans show one bright spot: Nissan is planning an increase in production of the Nissan Dayz minicar model, which Mitsubishi manufactures for Nissan for the Japanese market. Related Video: This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings.