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Nissan Qashqai getting Juke-R treatment

As long as there are sacred cows, there will be heretics sharpening their knives in anticipation of the butchering. When Nissan first carved into the mighty GT-R to create the Juke-R, onlookers quickly fell into two camps: those who thought the plan was sheer genius and those who believed cannibalizing a GT-R to feed a Juke was a new brand of obscenity. We fell firmly in the former camp. Now Severn Valley Motorsport is looking to take that theme one step further by shoving the go-faster bits from a GT-R into a Nissan Qashqai. That noise you hear? It's us cackling like mad men.
While we can't say for certain, we're guessing the project should yield the world's fastest Qashqai thanks in no small part to the twin-turbocharged VR38DETT V6 engine from the GT-R. Throw in the all-wheel-drive system and the little CUV should change demeanor dramatically. We can't wait to see this thing in action.

Nissan Juke to get higher-performance Nismo RC model

It's hard to find more giggles for your crossover dollar than the Juke - regardless of how you feel about the way it looks, the singularly styled nichemobile from Nissan is very entertaining to drive. Yet we've always felt that the platform had more in it, and evidently its Japanese parent agrees, having recently bracketed the googly-eyed turbocharged CUV with a new Nismo model and the barking mad built-to-order Juke R. At present, neither the Juke Nismo or the GT-R-powered Juke R are sold in North America, but the former has already been confirmed for sale here.
Even when it does reach our shores, there will still be a heck of a lot of whitespace between the mild performance upgrades of the standard Nismo and the half-mill R model, and to hear the UK's Car tell it, Nissan has plans to plug that gap, too. According to its report, the automaker will shortly offer a Juke Nismo RC that will have roughly 20 horsepower more than the basic Nismo (which itself has 197 hp, nine more than the base Juke). The RC will apparently feature a lower, stiffer suspension, upgraded brakes and a unique exhaust and intake for a snarlier soundtrack. Both front-and all-wheel drive models are planned, as are manual and CVT transmission choices.
No word yet on the RC's pricing or even North American availability, but the regular-strength Juke Nismo is expected to arrive shortly, and Nissan is also said to have big plans for its performance nameplate, so we wouldn't rule it out.

Nissan Patrol modified for backseat drivers

The McLaren F1 is most famous for holding the production-car top-speed record for over a decade, but it also made a name for itself by being one of the only production cars with a central driving position, a feature that's extremely rare. But in the world of custom cars, anything can happen. We're not sure if Dubai-based shop King of Customs was inspired by McLaren or is poking fun at backseat drivers (perhaps the builder or the commissioner just has quite the imagination), but its custom fifth-generation Nissan Patrol (the foundation of the Infiniti QX80 in the US) sports utility vehicle takes the term "central-driving position" to the next level. In the Patrol's case, "central" means that the driver's seat and controls are located in the second-row seating area.
It's a pretty clean conversion - if pointless - and we have to wonder how safe it is to drive such a vehicle. The front seats are now passenger seats, and the front airbags have been taken out and replaced with screens, according to King of Customs' Facebook page. So if the driver's view outside is impaired and the SUV is involved in a crash, you'd better hope nobody is up front. The screens on the backs of the front-seat headrests at least provide views from the side-view mirrors via cameras, the shop claims.
Watch the video below, marvel at the extreme impracticality of it all and see the thing drive.