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2013 Mini John Cooper Works

Location, Location, Location
Back in February, Mini invited me to come try out its brand-new Paceman coupe-crossover-hatchback thing in Puerto Rico, and not long after, I spit out a Quick Spin detailing my impressions of the little-big two-door. But here's what I didn't tell you: Mini also let me loose on those fine, curvaceous, tropical roads in its hottest hatch, the John Cooper Works GP. And while that behind-the-wheel gigglefest would have no doubt made for a story laden with positive notes and warm regards, the truth is, I only drove it for 15 minutes, so I couldn't in good conscience offer much of a story to you. (European Editor Matt Davis also got a short stint behind the wheel of the GP late last year.)
So for the sake of due diligence, I buckled down and spent a full eight days with the JCW GP back home in Detroit, just as springtime was starting to stick here in southeast Michigan. But after my time with the Mini, I was wishing that I could have just been left with my GP memories from Puerto Rico, where I was pushing the little hotbox hard around smooth corners and flexing every one of its muscles to eke out the full JCW GP experience in only a short timeframe.

Mini five-door spotted alongside next Clubman

Is Mini constricting its staggering array of model variants or expanding it? That depends largely on which way you look at it. Because while some models may not make the cut as the second-generation family is gradually replaced with the third, others appear to be joining the fold. They just might not bear different model names.
Take, for example, the vehicle pictured here. It's a five-door version of the latest Mini hatchback, but won't necessarily replace the Clubman wagon - particularly since that's precisely what appears to be pictured alongside it. While the five-door hatch appears to simply add an extra set of portals - full-size ones, from the look of it, not backwards-opening half-doors - to the existing three-door version, the new Clubman appears not only longer but also wider, giving it that much more interior space.
Of course that could all be an optical illusion generated by swirly camouflage designed to do just that, but from the apparent readiness of both models, we'll find out one way or another soon enough - whatever they're called.

Mini blows up over women applying makeup in cars

Distracted driving is a very real problem. From drivers with phones dangling from their ears to those constantly adjusting the stereo or dealing with rowdy children in the back seat, anything that diverts attention away from the act of driving is a potential danger. And yes, that would indeed include applying makeup while driving.
Publicis, the advertising agency used by Mini in Mexico, came up with an inventive (or offensive, depending on your point of view) way of reminding female drivers "that there's a time and place for everything." And while we're not quite sure of the veracity of the statistics cited in the video below, or even the necessity of its production in general, perhaps we'll just take it as a reminder to pay attention while driving... no matter what else happens to be on our minds. Or faces, as it were.
Scroll down below for the explosive demonstration.