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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

BMW profit of $2.7B is down as automaker invests to keep luxury lead

Despite selling 6.6-percent more vehicles - a record by volume - and posting higher revenues in the second quarter of 2013, BMW Group's profit of 2.07 million euros ($2.75 billion) is down 8.8 percent from last year. Investments in new technology (e.g. the new i3) and personnel, in addition to a competitive market, are to blame, BMW states. But the automaker remains committed to its fiscal targets for 2013, which, Chairman of the Board of Management of BMW AG, Norbert Reithofer, says will be "on a similar scale to 2012."
The BMW brand's sales performance in the first half of the year, which increased by 7.7 percent to 804,258 vehicles delivered, was good enough for it to maintain its lead in the luxury market, narrowly beating Audi, which delivered 780,510 vehicles, Automotive News reports. Mercedes-Benz delivered 694,433 vehicles to cement third place.

Mini JCW arrives suitably early thanks to Aussie leak [UPDATE]

UPDATE: Mini has released official photos and details of the new John Cooper Works, which we've added above and below, respectively. Mini is set to reveal its most powerful model yet in the new John Cooper Works hot hatch, but before the Anglo-Saxon automaker has gotten the chance, the first images and details have leaked out, courtesy of CarAdvice.com.au. According to the Australian website, the new JCW packs a 2.0-liter turbo four with 228 horsepower and 236 pound-feet of torque – outstripping even the previous John Cooper Works GP hot hatch, which produced 211 hp and 207 lb-ft. That's said to be good for a 0-62 time of 6.1 seconds. Of course there's more to the new JCW than engine output, and the latest Mini hot hatch – previewed in concept form almost a year ago at the 2014 Detroit Auto Show and spied undergoing testing mere weeks ago – also packs an upgraded version of the suspension in the Cooper S, with optional adaptive dampers, Brembo brakes, upgraded rolling stock and an electronic differential. A full aero kit sets it apart visually, keep the greasy bits cool and the nimble little pocket rocket glued to the tarmac, while the cockpit has also appears to have been made over to provide a suitable environment from which to unleash the new JCW's performance potential. With these details and images spreading like wildfire across the interwebs, we'd imagine it's only a matter of time before Mini releases the full monte itself, so watch this space for more. Related Video: The new MINI John Cooper Works. 10.12.2014 - Green light for the latest edition of the top athlete in the small car segment; the new MINI John Cooper Works combines authentic race feeling with the premium characteristics and extended product substance of the latest MINI Generation; distinctive, tradition-steeped, based on a vehicle concept combining MINI and John Cooper Works, with performance qualities which are exceptional within the competitive environment. - Extreme driving fun and exclusive charisma based on technology for engine, suspension and aerodynamics derived directly from motor racing as well as model-specific design features for the exterior and interior; greater differentiation from the MINI 3 door highlights the model's individual character.