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2014 Mini John Cooper Works Countryman All4

The standard Mini Countryman is a bit of an odd duck against the backdrop of 'normal' small crossovers like the Mazda CX-5 and the Ford Escape, but I sort of get it. Apply the same winning Mini formula to a CUV, and you get a smaller-than-average entry in the segment, one that is far more entertaining to drive than the norm, more stylish inside and out and pretty expensive when cross-shopped. That list of qualities doesn't appeal to all crossover shoppers, sure, but it intrigues a big enough list that the Countryman has reason for being.
Now, add the expensive John Cooper Works package to the Countryman's already niche goodies list, and Mini starts to lose me. So, I'm getting the softer suspended, taller, generally less dynamically joyful version of the brand's core values, but now you're charging me at least $35,000 ($13k more expensive than the basic, front-drive Cooper Countryman and $7k more than the MSRP of the Cooper S All4 version)? What's that? You're going to make it look like a garish, tippy-toed tuner car in the process? Take my money.
Or, actually, let me keep it. I can swing with a lot of the weirdness that Mini has to offer, but this car pushed me past my limit.

Utah man builds iRacing simulator inside 2005 Mini Cooper S

Brent Cheney is an artist and part-time racer who used to own a tuning shop for time attack cars. That's why, when he decided to get into iRacing and wanted an immersive simulator, he wouldn't settle for mere technical excellence. As first covered by Salt Lake City's KSL news, then in more detail by Motor Authority, Cheney decided he wanted to cut a car into pieces, and rebuild it in the basement of his Salt Lake City, Utah house with a racing sim inside. He needed "the right aesthetic," ruling out something like a Toyota Corolla, but he refused the sacrilege of cutting up anything too precious to an enthusiast. After narrowly missing out on buying a 1999 BMW M3 convertible, then turning to a Mitsubishi Eclipse done up in splashy green like Brian O'Conner's car in the original "Fast and Furious," he ended up with a Mini Cooper. The Brit was a better choice than the German and the Japanese, in fact, thanks to a hardtop that would create a dark enclosure, and seams and shutlines in the right places to hide the necessary cuts.  Cheney found a 2005 Cooper S that had been junked over an engine issue, getting the coupe for $1,000 and parting out the internals he didn't need for the same $1,000 he paid. After watching a YouTube video on how to cut a car, he dismembered the Cooper into seven pieces with a cordless reciprocating saw wielding a Diablo Steel Demon 6-inch blade, and carried the pieces into his man cave. He reassembled those pieces on a wood base with the aid of 200 brackets and many more sheetmetal screws, nuts, and bolts. Once the car was put back together, body parts and trim pieces hid all the seams. Before reinstalling the interior, the artist laid in the sim equipment. After doubling the minimum requirements for iRacing, Cheney's system included an Intel Core i9 8-core processor NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2080 8 GB Founders Edition video card running Windows 10 inside a Thermaltake PC case under the Cooper S hood, as the new "engine." A Fanatec Podium DD1 direct-drive steering column and wheel and Fanatec V3 pedals went in the cabin, along with a Harman Kardon home theater 5.1 surround sound system. He mounted the wheel on the Mini's steering column with a fabricated adapter, put the Fanatec pedals where the car's pedals had been, put a ButtKicker Mini transducer in the original Mini seat for extra realism, and hid all the wiring beneath the carpet and interior trim components.

2013 Mini John Cooper Works

Location, Location, Location
Back in February, Mini invited me to come try out its brand-new Paceman coupe-crossover-hatchback thing in Puerto Rico, and not long after, I spit out a Quick Spin detailing my impressions of the little-big two-door. But here's what I didn't tell you: Mini also let me loose on those fine, curvaceous, tropical roads in its hottest hatch, the John Cooper Works GP. And while that behind-the-wheel gigglefest would have no doubt made for a story laden with positive notes and warm regards, the truth is, I only drove it for 15 minutes, so I couldn't in good conscience offer much of a story to you. (European Editor Matt Davis also got a short stint behind the wheel of the GP late last year.)
So for the sake of due diligence, I buckled down and spent a full eight days with the JCW GP back home in Detroit, just as springtime was starting to stick here in southeast Michigan. But after my time with the Mini, I was wishing that I could have just been left with my GP memories from Puerto Rico, where I was pushing the little hotbox hard around smooth corners and flexing every one of its muscles to eke out the full JCW GP experience in only a short timeframe.