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2016 April Fools' Day: Morgan digs at Tesla, Mini's scissor doors, more

Every year automakers go out of their way to come up with gags for April Fools' Day. Sometimes the jokes fall flat, but occasionally a company really nails it with an idea that we'd actually love to see. Rather than scouring the Web for all of these stunts, you can find some of our favorites right here. Morgan MOGrod The Morgan Motor Company's MOGrod is one of our favorite April Fools' jokes so far this year because it's a car we wish could be real. The company says on Twitter that the retro hot rod uses a 3.7-liter Ford V6, and there are already 250,000 preorders, which is a play on the huge number of reservations for the Tesla Model 3. Morgan took the joke even further by sketching a landspeed record version for the Bonneville Salt Flats. Mini Scissor Doors The people at Mini apparently have a lot of free time because the company has two gags this year. The first is the scissor door option. The idea cleverly plays on the myriad ways customers can customize their Mini, but this solution doesn't look like anyone could easily enter the car due to the way these doors open. Mini Hipster Hatch There's also the Hipster Mini, which is a much funnier idea. This fictional hatchback would be perfect for fashionable Millennials thanks to features like Instagram-filter windows and a fixed-gear drivetrain, which limits the top speed to 25 miles per hour. The interior uses stonewash denim upholstery and packs a twin-deck cassette player. Skoda Dog Umbrella People love dogs, and owners know that a wet canine can be a mess. Skoda is ready to tackle this problem with an umbrella for your mutt. Made from unobtainium, the gadget hides in the door when not in use, but when raindrops start falling, people can keep their pup dry. Skoda Snowman Skoda's Facebook page also teases us with a very cool vehicle. The Snowman is a 396-horsepower plug-in hybrid snow machine. With its tracks, the company's newest model would never have to worry about getting stuck in the winter. Opel Adam C Sure, electricity and hydrogen are cleaner forms of fuel than gasoline or diesel, but Opel has a way to make your car even more environmentally friendly – muscle power. Wind up the crank at the rear for 15 minutes, and the Opel Adam C is good for 125 miles. GM's European division also claims that owners get a great workout because a full winding session burns 400 calories. You wouldn't feel guilty about picking up that pizza after cranking up this hatchback.

BMW warns profits will fall, plans $13.6 billion in cost-cutting

FRANKFURT, Germany — BMW said Wednesday that profits in 2019 will be "well below" last year's, and it will cut 12 billion euros ($13.6 billion) in costs by the end of 2022 to offset spending on new technology. The company said profits would be eroded by higher raw materials prices, the costs of compliance with tougher emissions requirements and unfavorable shifts in currency exchange rates. The Munich-based automaker also faces increased uncertainty due to international trade conflicts that could lead to higher tariffs. "Depending on how conditions develop, our guidance may be subject to additional risks; in particular, the risk of a no-deal Brexit and ongoing developments in international trade policy," said Chief Financial Officer Nicolas Peter. The company forecast a profit margin of 6 to 8 percent for its automotive business, short of the long-term strategic target of 8 to 10 percent, which it said still "remains the ambition" for the company if given "a stable business environment." BMW said it had no plans for layoffs even as it outlined cost saving measures that include dropping half of its engine variants as it seeks to reduce product complexity. The BMW, Mini and Rolls-Royce brands are to get a single sales division. Peter said that given the headwinds to earnings, "we began to introduce countermeasures at an early stage and have taken a number of far-reaching decisions." The company said the measures were needed "to offset the ongoing high level of upfront expenditure required to embrace the mobility of the future." Automakers around the world have faced heavy up-front costs for technology expected to change how people get from one place to another in the next decade. Those include electric cars and renting cars through smartphone apps. Yet the returns from such investments remain uncertain and auto companies face competition from tech firms such as Uber and Waymo. BMW made 7.2 billion euros ($8.2 billion) in net profit last year, down 17 percent from 2017, when it booked a gain of $1 billion from U.S. tax changes. The company faced headwinds from increased tariffs on vehicles exported to China from the United States. It also suffered from turmoil on the German auto market when companies faced bottlenecks getting cars certified for new emissions rules. BMW faces uncertainty from U.S.-China trade tensions that could result in new tariffs if talks do not result in an agreement. U.S.

2014 Mini Cooper Clubvan

A Premium Van For The Modern-Day Milkman
We first saw the Mini Clubvan at the Geneva Motor Show in March 2012, then in December again at the Los Angeles Auto Show. Based on a stock Mini Clubman, the Clubvan's dimensions are identical, while all side windows aft of the middle pillar are blocked out from the inside with handy polycarbonate liners (read: fancy plastic) and have body color skin on the outside, while the rear windows are tinted to boot. It looks like a van and works like a van, so it must be a van. A Mini-van, though.
Where is Mini going with this relatively low-cost (to the company) product line extension? The chief market for this nimble little hauler is cities in Great Britain where they were frequently in bygone days identified as milk delivery vans. These days, though, there are - even in the US now - lower cost smaller urban delivery vans from Ford, Ram and Nissan. Therefore, the spin is that the Mini Clubvan is designed to cater to smaller boutique firms in need of making a fashionable impression while delivering the goods to people living in penthouses and such. Think: Florists, caterers, and so on.