2007 Mercury Mountaineer Premier on 2040-cars

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What do you do with a fake Bugatti Veyron for $60k?

Replica cars are a challenging labor of love because builders spend countless hours recreating a vehicle that people immediately compare to the real thing. Perhaps, the person behind this Mercury Cougar-based Bugatti Veyron should look for another way to pass that time. The coupe is currently for sale on eBay Motors for $59,900. The builder deserves some credit because the fiberglass body looks acceptable in the photos from farther away. The car might even fool a few people from a distance. However, the devil is in the details, and the closer you look, the worse this gets. The side intakes are especially rough. The red interior is atrocious. It's essentially the Cougar's cabin but in an eye-searing shade accented with lots of fake carbon fiber. The seller's eBay Motors ad really tries to market the look, though. "You slide in to [sic] this extremely comfortable leather interior and you feel like your bank account just quadrupled in size," the listing says. Don't expect to win any top speed titles in this Veyron replica, either. Rather than a mid-mounted quad-turbo W16, a 3.0-liter V6 from a Mercury Sable sits at the front. Thanks to an upgraded intake and exhaust, the seller claims, "It doesn't sound like your grandmas [sic] Sable." We wish the seller the best of luck, but the asking price of nearly $60,000 is probably too optimistic. We would still think twice about buying it even after taking a zero off that figure, but at least this thing is fun to look at. Related Video:

Kit Cat: Mercury Cougar makes perfect Bugatti Veyron substitute

Bugatti Veyron kit car - Click above for high-res image gallery
If you've got a pulse in your wrist and a snapping brain cell in your head, chances are you wouldn't mind parking a Bugatti Veyron in your garage. But for most mere mortals, scrounging up the cash for a physics-bending piece of 16-cylinder glory would require all sorts of unpalatable tasks. Fortunately for those who want to look the part without having to participate in human trafficking, the kit car universe has stepped in to save the day. All you need is a 1999-2002 Mercury Cougar, a boat load of fiberglass and a little patience.
Oh, and $89,000.

Junkyard Gem: 1995 Mercury Tracer Trio

With the rise of Radwood, cars with exaggerated characteristics associated with the 1980s and 1990s are cool again. That means some combination of pastel and/or neon colors, squiggly squeezed-from-toothpaste-tube graphics, nonfunctional decklid spoilers, giant TURBO badging, and kicky youth-centric nomenclature are required if you want your wheels to be considered in compliance with the sacred tenets of Radism. I do my best to find rad machinery while crawling around in car graveyards, and since I came of driving age in 1982 I know a bit about the subject. Today's rare Junkyard Gem shows us the Mercury Division's belated attempt to sell fun cars to rad-leaning youngsters: a Tracer Trio, found in a Denver yard a few weeks back. The Trio package added 310 bucks to the cost of the $11,280 base Tracer sedan (that's about $575 on a $20,925 car in 2022 dollars), and it got the hip-and-trendy young buyer a leather-wrapped steering wheel, seven-spoke wheels, a decklid spoiler and these rad fender badges. I'm going to say that the much louder graphics and candy-cane-colored displacement badges on the Pontiac Sunbird W25 out-radded the Tracer Trio by a mile, but then Pontiac generally out-radded everyone in those days. Even Plymouth got into the act with such radness as the Breeze Expresso and Sundance Duster (we'll overlook the anti-rad Horizon Miser here). Perhaps tellingly, Mercury, Pontiac and Plymouth all got the "Old Yeller" treatment not long after the Rad Era ended. The Tracer name always went on Mercuries built on Mazda platforms, starting with the Australia-built, Ford Laser-based 1987-1989 cars and then continuing with Mexico-assembled, Ford Escort-based 1991-1996 cars. That generation of Escort/Tracer was mechanical twins with the Mazda Protege, itself the bridge between the 323 and the Mazda3. Some Tracers got the a 1.8-liter Mazda engine that was related to the Miata's engine, but this one has the pure-Detroit CVH 1.9. You're looking at 88 horsepower right here; the Mazda 1.8 offered 127 horses. At least the original buyer of this car got the base five-speed manual transmission instead of forking over $815 extra (about $1,510 today) for the four-speed slushbox. As a 29-year-old slacker living in San Francisco's Mission District and driving a hooptie '65 Chevy Impala sedan at the time, I would have taken the manual transmission without the Trio package, had I been forced to buy a new Tracer.