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Five reasons to love, or hate, the culture of German cars

A few months back, we took a 500-foot view of the culture of American cars, dissecting prides and prejudices on our way to the conclusion that automotive allegiances can be simultaneously embraced and derided. We had so much fun with the narrative that we decided to do it again, this time taking a look at Germany and its world-renowned lineup of automakers, including the likes of Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche and Volkswagen, among others. Join us below as we discuss the points and counterpoints that make or have made the German auto industry what it is today. And remember, Germany did pretty much invent the automobile, after all... The V12 Engine If America is known for the proliferation of the V8 engine, an argument could be made that Germany owns the V12. Yes, of course, other companies have created V12 engines – Ferrari, Jaguar and Lamborghini immediately come to mind – but the big 12-cylinder powerplants from BMW and Mercedes-Benz, in particular, have proven to be some of the most effortless, luxurious and downright over-built engines the world has ever seen. These days, having 12 cylinders is more a case of wretched excess than ever before, and yet, you can still stroll into your local BMW or Mercedes dealership and get a brand-new 760i, S600 or even an over-the-top G65 AMG, efficiency be damned. Best of all, since the majority of these German powerhouses depreciate as fast as an anchor sinks, nearly any auto enthusiast who dreams of a dozen cylinders can satisfy their carnal desires. Current Star: 2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 View 28 Photos Diesel Engines Remember how we talked about those glorious V12 engines? Well, you can even get one from Audi that runs on diesel. If your compression-ignition fantasies err more on the side of fuel savings, that's no problem, either. Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen have got you covered, with engines starting as small as 800 cubic centimeters (Smart Fortwo). If you want something a little more practical, it's hard to argue with a VW Golf TDI, which will provide plenty of space for you and three of your best friends, plus a fair bit of luggage, all while returning 50-ish miles per gallon. For the purposes of this discussion, we'd rather focus on the asinine levels of torque provided by Germany's high-end diesel engines than the lower-end fuel sippers.

Race Recap: 2015 Canadian F1 Grand Prix is better behind the front

As of Saturday afternoon in Montreal, Canada, it was all about the number four. Lewis Hamilton put his Mercedes-AMG Petronas on pole position for the fourth time at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve, and now his tally of pole positions matches his race number: 44. Nico Rosberg lines up beside him, which is the fourth time that particular one-two combo has occurred this season. Ferrari spent three engine development tokens to try and close the gap to Mercedes, Kimi Raikkonen making the most of it with third position on the gird. His teammate Sebastian Vettel got the worst of it, however, when the MGU-K unit failed during Q1, leaving him 160 horsepower down and out at the first hurdle. Valtteri Bottas put a revitalized Williams on the grid at fourth, ahead of a Lotus lockout of the third row with Romain Grosjean leading the way in fifth, Pastor Maldonado just beside. Nico Hulkenberg got the first Sahara Force India into seventh – the team is still waiting on the upgraded B car that should be available for Austria – ahead of Daniil Kvyat in the first Infiniti Red Bull Racing and a "pissed off" Daniel Ricciardo in the second Red Bull. Sergio Perez made it two Force Indias in the top ten, a welcome result from a team performing below expectations of late. When the lights went out, at the very front it was much ado about not that much at all. Hamilton got away clean and stabbed across the track to close the door for Rosberg, giving Raikkonen a chance to take the inside line into Turn 1 in an attempt to clear Rosberg for second place. That didn't happen, leaving the two Mercedes' to run in grid position for the entire race. It wasn't boring – Rosberg stayed close, rubber-banding the time gap to the leader from a little more than one second to just under four seconds, and Montreal is famous for race-rearranging safety cars and on-track incidents. But none of those occurred, so Hamilton crossed the line 2.285 seconds ahead of Rosberg after 70 laps to earn his fourth victory in Canada and the first-ever victory for the Brackley, UK-based Mercedes team. Valtteri Bottas drove his Williams to third position, the first podium place for the team this year and a welcome salve to heal the team's wounds from a poor showing in Monaco. That placing came courtesy of being in the right place at the right time, which was not far behind Raikkonen when the Ferrari driver spun at the hairpin on Lap 28 after his first pit stop.

The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard is a limo with a bulletproof vest

As fabulously plush as the Mercedes-Maybach Pullman is, there is a certain class of individual for which luxury is only part of the equation. Oligarchs, dictators, kingpins of questionable businesses, and probably some legitimate world leaders all love luxury, but they sometimes face some hairy commutes that demand a bit more protection. For them, the answer to their luxury car needs is the armored Pullman Guard. The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard tops the line of S-Class Guard models that also includes the Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard and the Mercedes-Maybach S600 Guard. Like the non-armored Pullman it packs loads of leather, seats with practically infinite adjustability, and redundant gauges for rear passengers. It is also by far the longest S-Class vehicle available, stretching more than 40 inches longer than the next-longest Mercedes-Maybach. This tremendous length allows the Pullman Guard to have four-passenger seating in the rear, with two seats facing two others. It's the perfect place to sign treaties or entertain diplomats. Or, if foreign affairs aren't your speed, it would also be a convenient place to carve up territory, issue ultimatums to enemies, and intimidate dissidents. The Pullman Guard was developed alongside the standard Pullman, and because of that, the added armor does not sacrifice interior space. The armor does affect weight, though. The Pullman Guard weighs over 11,000 pounds. But, in return, the steel plates on the sides and floor, non-Kevlar-brand high-strength fabrics, and polycarbonate-backed windows protect occupants from bullets and explosives. Plus, the Pullman Guard features a twin-turbo V12 that produces 530 horsepower and 612 lb-ft of torque to haul the added ballast around. If a recognized authority is ordering a Pullman Guard, Mercedes also offers sirens, flashing lights, two-way radios, an emergency starter battery, and a loudspeaker system. These items are sure to be useful when trying to navigate seas of protestors in the streets. All of this extra protection will cost you though, and if you have to ask, you definitely can't afford it. But we'll tell you the price anyway. A standard Pullman will run around $500,000 at current exchange rates. For the Guard model, be prepared to shell out about $1.56 million. It's a steep price for sure, but for those whose pampered lives are in danger, it's probably worth it.