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2013 Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG

Make way for the 2013 Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG, the most wonderfully preposterous car I have ever driven.
There is absolutely no reason why any two-seat roadster should be fitted with a twin-turbocharged 6.0-liter V12 developing 621 horsepower and 738 pound-feet of torque, but I sure am glad that Mercedes-Benz doesn't see things that way.
Drop into the leather-lined cockpit of this $213,145 provocateur, floor the accelerator pedal as I did over and over again, and 60 miles per hour falls in a traction-limited 3.9 seconds. Top speed has been electronically held to 186 mph (this apparently saves Gulfstream jet owners from embarrassment). Forget the SL550 and SL63 AMG, the valets will trip over themselves attending to the tycoon driving this thoroughbred - it's the real deal.

Top horsepower-per-dollar cars in 2017

Bang for the buck. That quasi-scientific statistic is bandied about by motor heads everywhere from classrooms to barrooms, though the truth of the matter is that it's exceedingly complex to measure. A fair performance-per-dollar index would include something like cross-referencing MSRP (Manufacturers Suggested Retail Price) with point-to-point times on a track or driving route, which is obviously hard to do comprehensively. But, for the sheer joy of talking about cars and playing with a big spreadsheet, there's always the horsepower-per-dollar index, which is more straightforward, albeit hilariously flawed. There are vagaries even with this simple formula, of course: MSRP for vehicles can change at a moment's notice, to say nothing of the bottom-line shifting that happens with local deals or showroom negotiation. For this list we're running with the straight MSRP wherever possible, and as recently reported as we can get it. All the vehicles on this list are 2017 models, and all trims are reported where the lowest price and differing power levels intersect. Some choices were made for personal preference and some for sanity, avoiding things like all 48 trim levels of the Ford Transit, all with the same horsepower). If this list were a simple top ten, or even a top fifty, you'd be bored to tears with all the red, white and blue that is represented. Following perfectly with conventional wisdom, American cars really do lead the world where hp/$ is concerned. So, for the sake of variety (and the sheer joy of seeing a minivan 'win' one round of this thing) I've sorted out some top five and bottom five lists for broad power categories. Let's dive in. Less Than 100 Horsepower Okay, okay, this is hardly a category we'll grant you. But we've often tried to click off all the sub-100-hp cars on sale in the US, and making this list gave us an excuse. It also illustrates that none of these smallish vehicles bring cheap horsepower to the table - for that you'll need a motorcycle. The segment-leading Chevy Spark (above) asks just over $139 for each hp, and that Smart Fortwo Electric Drive has hp on sale for about the same price as its very distant family cousin, the Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG (insert your favorite Smart joke here... we know you want to).

Buy a V8 Mercedes-Maybach, or splurge for a V12? Oh to have such problems

There's a certain air that surrounds the Maybach badge, and it's not just the scent being pumped out by the ionizer in the car's glovebox. It's the cream of the crop when it comes to German luxury. These cars are filled with an acre's worth of wood and a herd's worth of cows, ensuring your fingers rarely touch materials as pedestrian as plastic. It's as quiet, as smooth, and as imposing as you think it would be. Though the latest model from Mercedes-Maybach, the S550, might have swapped in a V8 and all-wheel drive in place of the V12 at the heart of the S600, no other amenities have been lost in translation. The car's size gives it a certain presence. Staring at the profile shows a wheelbase that spans two counties, necessitating a microphone and speaker setup simply so that the driver can converse with the passenger – and a Maybach will almost always have a passenger. No one buys a Maybach to drive. You buy a Maybach to be driven. No means of transport short of business-class airline seating offers this much space. Sit back, recline the seat, roll up the shades and enjoy your $167,125 cocoon. But you know all of that already. What you really want to know is if $25,000 - the V12-powered S600 starts at $192,225 - is worth it to gain an extra four cylinders, 74 horsepower, and 96 lb-ft of torque. On paper, no, it's not. The two cars have identical performance numbers, and the S550 benefits from Mercedes' 4Matic all-wheel-drive system. Even with all-wheel drive, the S550 weighs less than the nose-heavy S600. Fuel economy is, as expected, superior in the S550. It's rated at 16 city, 24 highway and 19 combined as opposed to 13 city, 21 highway, and 16 combined. Visually, the two cars are identical save for a few badges. The V12 badge on the S600 is replaced with a 4Matic badge on the S550, and that's where things start to get murky. When you're spending six figures on a car, decisions become more emotional than practical. $25,000 is a lot of money, but there's a bigger difference between $25,000 and $50,000 than there is between $167,000 and $192,000. As stated, you don't buy these cars to drive. Performance needs to be merely adequate. A smooth, torquey V12 is likely preferable to a hairy-chested V8, refined as it may be. These cars will never touch redline, lest the passengers spill their champagne. Plus, that V12 badge is worth its weight in country club memberships. Driving an S550 is fine until an owner shows up at an event behind an S600.