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Five reasons to love, or hate, the culture of German cars

A few months back, we took a 500-foot view of the culture of American cars, dissecting prides and prejudices on our way to the conclusion that automotive allegiances can be simultaneously embraced and derided. We had so much fun with the narrative that we decided to do it again, this time taking a look at Germany and its world-renowned lineup of automakers, including the likes of Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche and Volkswagen, among others. Join us below as we discuss the points and counterpoints that make or have made the German auto industry what it is today. And remember, Germany did pretty much invent the automobile, after all... The V12 Engine If America is known for the proliferation of the V8 engine, an argument could be made that Germany owns the V12. Yes, of course, other companies have created V12 engines – Ferrari, Jaguar and Lamborghini immediately come to mind – but the big 12-cylinder powerplants from BMW and Mercedes-Benz, in particular, have proven to be some of the most effortless, luxurious and downright over-built engines the world has ever seen. These days, having 12 cylinders is more a case of wretched excess than ever before, and yet, you can still stroll into your local BMW or Mercedes dealership and get a brand-new 760i, S600 or even an over-the-top G65 AMG, efficiency be damned. Best of all, since the majority of these German powerhouses depreciate as fast as an anchor sinks, nearly any auto enthusiast who dreams of a dozen cylinders can satisfy their carnal desires. Current Star: 2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 View 28 Photos Diesel Engines Remember how we talked about those glorious V12 engines? Well, you can even get one from Audi that runs on diesel. If your compression-ignition fantasies err more on the side of fuel savings, that's no problem, either. Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen have got you covered, with engines starting as small as 800 cubic centimeters (Smart Fortwo). If you want something a little more practical, it's hard to argue with a VW Golf TDI, which will provide plenty of space for you and three of your best friends, plus a fair bit of luggage, all while returning 50-ish miles per gallon. For the purposes of this discussion, we'd rather focus on the asinine levels of torque provided by Germany's high-end diesel engines than the lower-end fuel sippers.

Elephant with an itch to scratch uses cars for relief

Sometimes in life you, get an itch in a place that you need some help to scratch it. That feeling apparently goes for elephants as well as humans. A pachyderm at the Khao Yai National Park in Thailand recently had some serious comfort in its rump. Unfortunately, the giant animal chose several passing vehicles to alleviate the problem. Things start out rather cute with the elephant rubbing its enormous behind on a Mercedes-Benz. However, another vehicle apparently doesn't provide the same level of relief. The animal seems to grow annoyed and starts taking the sedan apart with at least one person inside. The experience must have been mammothly terrifying. According to BBC News, no one was injured, and the odd behavior is being blamed on a result of the elephant's mating season. Male elephants, as well as other male pachyderms, go through a period called the musth, when testosterone levels rise to several times greater than normal in preparation for the mating season. It makes the elephant aggressive, irritable and yes, itchy.

One year since accident, most of Schumacher's sponsors still on board

It's been almost exactly a year now since Michael Schumacher suffered massive head trauma in a catastrophic skiing accident in Switzerland, and while details on his recovery have remained few and far between, we're sure his progress has been anything but easy. Meanwhile his sponsors have faced a difficult decision of their own: to continue supporting him financially despite getting nothing tangible in return, or cancel their contracts and suffer the blow to their public image as a result. According to Schumacher's longtime manager Sabine Kehm in speaking to news outlets like Italy's La Gazzetta dello Sport, most of the imperiled former F1 driver's personal sponsors have remained by his side. The encouraging news updates on what we reported back in August, that Mercedes-Benz and German investment firm Deutsche Vermogensberatung AG were sticking with the champ through the hard times. Other sponsors, including helmet manufacturer Schuberth and watchmaker Audemars Piguet, are also believed to still be on board. Not all of Schumi's sponsors have stuck around, though. German bottled water brand Rosbacher reportedly broke off its contract with Schumacher back in July. And more recent reports confirm that Gaydoul Group fashion labels Navyboot and Jet Set canceled their sponsorship deal earlier this month. These and other contracts made Schumacher one of the world's highest paid sports figures and the first billionaire athlete in the world. Even in retirement, he was still making more than most active F1 drivers. While we don't know just how much he's pulling in during his recovery, here's hoping that his continued sponsors can find a way to make their support worthwhile – and that the champ makes a full recovery in the near future.