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The Scaldarsi Emperor I is a Mercedes-Maybach S600 taken to 11 on the bad-taste scale

The custom car world is filled with vehicles designed by people that don't know when to quit. The Scaldarsi Emperor I, shown here in all its awful rose-gold glory, appears to have been designed by an enthusiast of the KFC Double Down. It's a hideous creation and we can't let it pass without saying so. We also can't look away. Scaldarsi's so-called "artists" have thoroughly reworked what was a perfectly wonderful Mercedes-Maybach S600. In addition to the 24-karat rose gold accents, the company has crafted a new front fascia and modified the side and rear treatments. Inside, the general S600 shape remains, but new leather and wood cover nearly every surface. Your insane imagination will not be tamed, as there are 24 colors for the leather, 24 types of animal hides, 78 types of wood, and 16 exterior body colors available. The result, at least in the publicity shots, is a mix of awkward textures and seats that look like a pile of colorful marshmallows. Those interested in purchasing an Emperor I can option custom-engraved champagne glasses, matching tote bags, and even an Emperor Edition Rolex watch. If the standard key fob is too common for your taste, they'll make you one custom. Watch out for that Scaldarsi logo, though – it looks mean enough to rip through your pocket and take a chunk out of your leg. We will give Scaldarsi credit for wisely letting Brabus handle the power. The Emperor I uses the 6.3-liter twin-turbocharged V12 from the Brabus Rocket 900. This 888-horsepower monster is a tuned version of the V12 AMG uses in the S65, SL65, and G65. The Emperor I has an estimated 0-60 mph time of just 3.7 seconds, which is quick enough to leave stoplights before anyone recognizes you behind the wheel. Scaldarsi is asking a mere $1.5 million for each of 10 examples being created. If you miss out on the Emperor I or are some kind of twisted completist that needs one of each, this just the first in a series of customs the company will offer. Next up is the Emperor II (a Mercedes-AMG S65 Coupe), which will be followed by the Emperor III (Bentley Bentayga), Emperor IV (Mercedes-AMG G65), and Emperor V (Bugatti Chiron). Lord help us all. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. Related Video: This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings.

2015 Malaysian F1 GP springs hot, humid surprises [spoilers]

In the two weeks since Australia both Mercedes and Ferrari spoke of the improved performance from their respective cars. In Malaysia, Ferrari showed it. Lewis Hamilton still put his Mercedes-AMG Petronas on pole position, but Sebastian Vettel got within two whiskers of the Brit, lining up second just 0.074 behind. Afterward, Vettel said Ferrari could win the race if everything went well. But in qualifying we didn't know how much of Ferrari's performance was truly down to the car and how much was down to the wet weather that struck near the beginning of Q2. The rain didn't hamper Nico Rosberg's run – the German said "I just didn't drive good enough" – and he took third spot in the second Mercedes-AMG Petronas. Showing what the Infiniti Red Bull Racing chassis can do when the power unit is working properly, teammates Daniel Ricciardo and Daniil Kvyat grabbed fourth and fifth. Whippersnapper Max Verstappen, in his second race, qualified in sixth with an excellent drive through the rain; just 0.030 behind Kvyat, he said he could have got fifth if he hadn't had a running problem with his brakes. Williams head of vehicle performance Rob Smedley said he wouldn't complain about Mercedes' advantage, but Felipe Massa has spent the whole season so far banging the alarm about Ferrari's pace. He says Williams has lost its straight-line advantage, part of the reason the first Grove car is back in seventh, while Valtteri Bottas is in eighth. Between them was Romain Grosjean in the Lotus, but he got dropped two positions for a pit-lane infraction in Q2, so he'll be tenth. Ahead of him is Marcus Ericsson in the Sauber, who would lead the charge to turn in another surprise for the Swiss team. But the real surprise came from the Scuderia Ferrari, who, on a bright, sunny day proved that they don't need to add water for race-winning pace. While Hamilton got made usual awesome start at the lights, Vettel channeled that other famous German Ferrari driver and immediately cut across the track to intimidate Rosberg, maintaining his second place position into the first turn. Arguably the race-winning move came three laps later at that same turn, when Ericsson plunged in too fast and swapped ends, beaching the rear of his Sauber in the gravel trap. The safety car came out when the recovery truck emerged to retrieve the Sauber, and nearly all of the front-runners took to the pits to swap out of the medium tires. Vettel, however, didn't.

The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard is a limo with a bulletproof vest

As fabulously plush as the Mercedes-Maybach Pullman is, there is a certain class of individual for which luxury is only part of the equation. Oligarchs, dictators, kingpins of questionable businesses, and probably some legitimate world leaders all love luxury, but they sometimes face some hairy commutes that demand a bit more protection. For them, the answer to their luxury car needs is the armored Pullman Guard. The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard tops the line of S-Class Guard models that also includes the Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard and the Mercedes-Maybach S600 Guard. Like the non-armored Pullman it packs loads of leather, seats with practically infinite adjustability, and redundant gauges for rear passengers. It is also by far the longest S-Class vehicle available, stretching more than 40 inches longer than the next-longest Mercedes-Maybach. This tremendous length allows the Pullman Guard to have four-passenger seating in the rear, with two seats facing two others. It's the perfect place to sign treaties or entertain diplomats. Or, if foreign affairs aren't your speed, it would also be a convenient place to carve up territory, issue ultimatums to enemies, and intimidate dissidents. The Pullman Guard was developed alongside the standard Pullman, and because of that, the added armor does not sacrifice interior space. The armor does affect weight, though. The Pullman Guard weighs over 11,000 pounds. But, in return, the steel plates on the sides and floor, non-Kevlar-brand high-strength fabrics, and polycarbonate-backed windows protect occupants from bullets and explosives. Plus, the Pullman Guard features a twin-turbo V12 that produces 530 horsepower and 612 lb-ft of torque to haul the added ballast around. If a recognized authority is ordering a Pullman Guard, Mercedes also offers sirens, flashing lights, two-way radios, an emergency starter battery, and a loudspeaker system. These items are sure to be useful when trying to navigate seas of protestors in the streets. All of this extra protection will cost you though, and if you have to ask, you definitely can't afford it. But we'll tell you the price anyway. A standard Pullman will run around $500,000 at current exchange rates. For the Guard model, be prepared to shell out about $1.56 million. It's a steep price for sure, but for those whose pampered lives are in danger, it's probably worth it.