Oh My God. Oh. My. God. on 2040-cars

US $2,400.00

Year:1996 Mileage:130504 Color: Red /
Gray

Location:

Seattle, Washington, United States

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Advertising:

Transmission:Automatic
Body Type:Pickup Truck
Vehicle Title:Clear
Engine:2,302 cc 2.3 liters in-line 4 front longitudinal
Fuel Type:Gasoline
For Sale By:Private Seller

Condition:
Used: A vehicle is considered used if it has been registered and issued a title. Used vehicles have had at least one previous owner. The condition of the exterior, interior and engine can vary depending on the vehicle's history. See the seller's listing for full details and description of any imperfections. ...
VIN (Vehicle Identification Number): 4F4CR12A1STM04562
Year: 1996
Make: Mazda
Model: B-Series Pickups
Cab Type (For Trucks Only): Regular Cab
Trim: Base
Options: CD Player
Drive Type: Rear-wheel
Safety Features: Anti-Lock Brakes, Driver Airbag
Mileage: 130,504
Power Options: Air Conditioning
Exterior Color: Red
Interior Color: Gray
Number of Cylinders: 4

Attention Scallywags: Do not apply.

Have you ever asked yourself, "how can I be more badass with women?" If so, read the heck on!

Behold the *magic* that is this manly piece of badass, Mazda B2300, pure balls-to-the-wall, instant "manly factor" multiplier. This screams "I'm a man's man!" + a billion. This is only for real men looking to add a little bit of edge to their life -- looking to score hot dates with supermodel chicks who are supermodels. From Europe. And Brazil. And Texas. Because when you roll up in this grizzly, people will automatically l^O^Ok at you, and know that you don't give a flying rat's "F" about anything in life....especially not superficial things like a fancy-ass Mercedes Royce or having the newest designer pet chihuahua. Go sip on your latte, and get outta' my face!

This rough and tumble machine doesn't care about your $1,500 terry cloth robe, or your pedicures. He doesn't play by the rules! Why? Because he's a true badass, and a true badass starts at the ground up with a solid chassis built from pure bull testosterone, ice cold domestic beer, a little bit of steel, and a dash of Chuck Norris. Suck on that!

Well guess what, @$$hole. It only gets better from here....

Next, Mazda's engineers who have all won Nobel Prizes in badassery, sorcery, and scoring with chicks, strapped a gutsy power plant to the frame that wasn't built for the faint of heart. They started big at 70 horsepower. But they didn't stop there. After simultaneously shotgunning 4 beers, and smashing the cans on their forehead like any true badass would do, they ingeniously devised a way to crank up the horsepowerage to a breathtaking, 112 sweaty horseballs, power. That's right. Let's see if you can tame all 112 of these monsters. $5 and a case of Pabst says you can't! But I welcome your challenge. It'll be a real test of your manhood.

If you push this beast hard enough, you can almost chirp the wheels in first beer...I mean, gear. B-I-T-C-H-I-N'!!!

To take it a step further, they custom fitted this monster beast with a plush (but not too plush, because too plush would be for sissies, and this pig ain't for no sissy, girly, boy) nylon covered bench seat. It's perfect for having your supermodel chick girlfriends slide on over closer to you, so you can throw your dude arm across her silky, smooth, shoulder blade skin that smells like cocoa butter and sexy, in a real Rico Suave-esque manner. For added effect, and just to show its durability, I ripped a seam on the driver's side, just to show that it won't get its feelings hurt. Because he ain't no sissy! It's a badge of honor that this hoss proudly wears. DEAL WITH IT, BIOTCHES! And tell your girlfriend to respect the rules of this piece. You shut your mouth when you're talking in my truck!

But hold on to your mantitties, because we're not done yet! Real men don't believe in power anything, unless it's power tools, power cleans, the power of Jesus, and powerball. Therefore, this tiger comes equipped with "crank-it-your-own-d a m n-self" windows. They work, because they're mechanical. And that's all I'll say about that! If you want a pansy, tutti-fruitti, power windows, cushy girl car, go get your boring ass in a stupid Japanese-built wussy Toyota Camry, and be a lifelong loser, because this ain't for you.

Because you're a man of iron, black coffee, and grit, you only rock out to the most badass, fist-pumping, knockout, bare knuckles boxing, alligator wrasslin' anthem that clearly defines your amazing existence as a man. In order to jam out every day of your life, Mazda helps you in that department too, by cramming in a heart stoppin', pumpin', thumpin', bassin' factory installed sound system. But they didn't get too carried away. Because this ain't no low-rider, L.A. car show contestant trying to show off his $80,000 Pioneer sound system. That's WEAK SAUCE!!! Nope. This rugged hog is a major contestant in "Being A Wicked Extreme Badass!" So shut your pie hole, and pump up your MANthem! Let the city b i t c h e s hear it!

I don't care much for bright colors myself. But I also have a reputation to keep. Choosing an exterior color can make or break you. Because you're a man that doesn't give a crap about that stuff, and nothing gets to you, you know deep in your man soul, that you can't be broken. You sip Jameson whiskey straight from the bottle, dump that $hit in your coffee, and brush your teeth with it. For this badass-ness, only one color can accurately describe your life. Cherry-freakin'-red. Buckle in, asshole. This manmobile shouts to mother earth that you are secure in your manhood. So grab your crotch, and be proud you have a big, swingin' dick, and push the pedal to the floor, racking up poor gas mileage along the way. Actually, not really. Even though you might be fooled by it's brawny exterior, he can be a gentle soul too, averaging in neighborhood of 20-25 miles per gallon. But let's not get too over-the-top, here. He has a manly reputation to preserve.

This husky scamp has a history of kicking ass and taking names. It's been trekked everywhere from the dusty, stinky petroleum $hit fields of Lubbock, Texas, to the border-crossing streets of San Diego; from the steep ice and snow covered mountain drives of Northern California, to the hippie, potsmokin' backroads of Seattle and Portland. Here, he quietly rests, waiting for the next proud owner to unhinge its raw, burly, hauling power. Finally, it's understood and implied that this may be more than you can handle. So to tone down its scarred, beefy body, and to give the impression that despite its mighty Herculean persona of blood, guts, booze, and unfiltered cigarettes, it received a Jesus tattoo many moons ago. It's a tattoo that shows it cares about other important things in life, like raising a good family, medium-rare cow beef steaks, Lava hand soap, Saturday nights with the guys, Dallas Cowboys football, automatic rifles, American flags, and The God blessed, fire-breathing, Constitution of the United States of George Bush's America. Amen!

This hard-bodied stud likes the cold, hard, Benjamins or cashier's cheques. I even spelled it fancy-like to show that I'm no fool when it comes to economic matters. I might even be willing to part with this brute savage for a check. But if it bounces, I'll punch you in chest plate, and move on to somebody more financially adept.

It's almost too good to be true. So good, that I'm actually thinking about just keeping it......But no. I made a commitment, and I need to see it through. I must be strong. Must. Be. Strong.

So hurry up and get your meathooks on it soon, before some other carpetbaggin', hellion monkey drives off into the brisk morning air with him.

Q and A:

-Wes, do you deliver to my location?: Yes. And you've just learned something else about me. That's right, my name is Wes. And your name is "lucky sonofagun" if you make the best choice of your life and pay me cold, hard cash for this ridiculous ride.

-What about safety features, Wes?: Yeah, what about 'em? Look, the government governs the way you can unleash this mule on public roads, it also deems that certain safety features come standard, and that you are to use them accordingly. Fine. Whatever. So you tell yourself, "I'm a badass no matter what, but I'll keep myself from getting locked up at county with a guy named Tiny, another named Jingles, and a third guy named Tom. So I'll wear this safety harness across my rock-hard body, and flip on the headlights during the evening hours of dark. But I won't be happy about it, and I'll roll down my window and yell obscenities at old ladies, because I can! Bite me, government rules." The point is, all that crap works. And it works well. Would you expect anything less though? I mean, really?! Just look at it.

-The paint's a little dinged up: Yeah, well, that's called real life. It comes at you fast, bro. Besides, you really want this glimmering, shimmering sex machine catching the eye of some small time thief? You really don't want to be living your own version of Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Consider the lived-in feel a natural crime deterrent. If this truck were denim jeans, it'd be called "de-stressed" and you'd be paying extra for the privilege. I'm not gonna charge you extra for it, though, because I'm not trying to take advantage of you. But you should take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

-But, aren't you sad about selling the greatest truck on earth?: No. When you drive this strapping ogre once it permanently eliminates your ability to feel sad about anything ever again. Even for little puppies who are afraid to walk down the stairs, because the stairs...they're so big, and they're so little. Puppies who are young, but have already discovered the world to be a cold, unforgiving place. But you won't give a $hit about it because you'll be in your awesome new truck living the dream.

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Auto blog

Mazda ad showing Facebook updates while driving criticized by Senate committee [w/video]

Sat, 08 Feb 2014

Senate Commerce Committee Chairman Jay Rockefeller, D-WV, held an all-day summit on Thursday to discuss the dangers of using modern technology while driving, during which an ad that Mazda aired during the Super Bowl was used as an example of the worrisome future towards which we're headed. While seemingly innocuous at first glance, the ad, which can be seen below, shows a brief glimpse of a driver using the Mazda Connect infotainment system in a Mazda3 to check/update his Facebook page while driving down the road.
Officials from major communications companies like Samsung, Google and Apple attended the summit, as well as representatives from automakers including General Motors and Toyota. A representative from Mazda was not present despite the company's own currently available technology being used as the poster child for the issues being discussed.
According to Automotive News, Senator Rockefeller warned the automaker and communication execs on hand that he will propose legislation to regulate the use of technology while driving if they don't work together to implement their own standards more quickly. Michael Robinson, GM's vice president of sustainability and global regulatory affairs, argued that his company has had distracted driving guidelines in place for 15 years since the advent of its OnStar system, noting that the technology in question has also helped the automaker save lives through automatic crash detection and calls to 911.

Mazda's Tokyo concepts have us wishing for more Mazdaspeed

Wed, Dec 30 2015

It's been a while since we've seen any new Mazdaspeed machinery, and we're sorry to report that today isn't the day the wait ends. But if you want to see what they might look like based on Mazda's latest models, the Tokyo Auto Salon will be the place to be in a couple of weeks. Turns out the Zoom-Zoom brand has a whole raft of performance models in store for the aftermarket expo. Most intriguing to our eyes is the trio of Racing concepts – one based on the MX-5 Miata roadster, one on the CX-3 crossover, and one on the Mazda6 sedan. Each is done up in black with full aero kit, new rolling stock, and Alcantara interior. An adjustable suspension is the big change to the MX-5 Â– known simply as the Mazda Roadster in Japan Â– which also features red trim. As does the CX-3, while the Atenza (which we know as the Mazda6) goes for a more monochromatic, murdered-out appearance. The rally-prepped Mazda2 (known domestically as the Demio) focuses on a stripped-out interior with bucket seats, racing harnesses and a roll cage. There's a spec racing MX-5 in white livery with roll cage and tow hooks as well to join the Global Cup roadster we've already seen. That also goes for the RX-Vision and LM55 Vision Grand Turismo concepts which have already made the rounds but will be on display at the Tokyo salon as well. But it's those three Racing concepts that leave us salivating for production performance models to come Â– and hopefully come to North America in the process. Related Video:

Alfa Romeo takes Spider in-house, Mazda-Fiat roadster partnership not dead

Sat, Dec 20 2014

It's officially off. Following a report in March of this year that the marriage of Mazda and Alfa Romeo to produce a MX-5-based Spider was in trouble, the Italians have confirmed that it will take development in-house. "As far as the Spider goes, the final version is of course no longer the two-seater FCA co-developed with Mazda but a derivative of Project Giorgio," Maserati and Alfa Romeo brand boss Harald Wester told Car. For those not in the know, Project Giorgio is Alfa's codename for the rear-drive platform that will underpin the next-generation Spider, not to mention the replacement for the 159 sedan and a few other products. All is not lost for the Japanese-Italian partnership, though. "The Far East import will probably find a new home with Fiat-Abarth," Wester told Car. Yes, you read that correctly, Mazda is still working with FCA, and the result will eventually end up with Abarth's scorpion badge. If anything, we're more excited over this news than the idea of an Alfa MX-5. But we want to know what you think – would you rather Alfa build a new Spider on the Miata's bones, or does an MX-5 Abarth sound like more fun? Have your say in Comments.