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World's dumbest carjackers livestream themselves committing crime

Warrants were issued Monday for a trio of Cleveland carjackers who, after beating up a limo driver and stealing his car, livestreamed themselves joyriding around the city in the stolen limo. According to Cleveland.com, Brandon Lynch, a limo driver and National Guardsman, drove a couple in a hired limo from New Philadelphia, Ohio to Cleveland for game one of the Indians/Red Sox AL Divisional Series last Thursday. After dropping off his passengers at Progressive Field, he drove the stretched 2001 Lincoln to a McDonalds at Carnegie Avenue and East 30th to grab a bite and wait for the game to end. After finishing his dinner in the car, Lynch stepped out for a breath of fresh air in the parking lot when he was approached by three young men on bicycles. One of them asked Lynch if he could take them through the drive-through in the limo. "I laughed at first because I thought they were kidding," Lynch told the website. "I can't just drive someone in the limo." Lynch said no, and that's when the trio jumped him. During the scuffle the three youths choked Lynch out, punched and kicked him in the head. They then rifled through his pockets and made off in the limo. The next day, a young Cleveland resident named Jessee Varner fired up Facebook live and filmed himself and his two accomplices–Ty'Juan Philpot and Norman Henry–reenacting every 90's hip-hop video ever made from inside the stolen Lincoln. During the video they drove around town, smoke some weed, drank some 40 ounce beers, stuck their heads out of the sunroof, and generally made a nuisance of themselves while posting the evidence online. Eventually they crashed the car and fled the scene. Using evidence from the video and from DNA samples collected from a bicycle at the scene of the crime, Cleveland Police issued warrants for their arrest. The three criminal masterminds, who are well known to Cleveland's law enforcement community, remain at large. Despite a bad concussion and the loss of his car, Lynch is looking on the bright side of things. "The Indians won, so it wasn't all bad!" he said. Recent Video: News Source: Cleveland.com Auto News Humor Weird Car News Lincoln Commercial Vehicles limo carjacking cleveland

Conan O'Brien takes McConaughey's Lincoln ad to its logical conclusion

We all had to see this coming. Conan O'Brien has released a parody of Matthew McConaughey's new ads for the 2015 Lincoln MKC and remixed them with lines from one of his most critically acclaimed recent roles.
The now much darker commercial probably isn't how Lincoln would prefer the MKC to be marketed, but really in a few of the actual ads, McConaughey already seems moments away from breaking into a full Rustin Cohle from True Detective impression. The cadence and tone of his voice are just so close to that character, especially in the one where he's talking to the bull standing in the middle of the road. It very nearly verges on parody anyway; Conan is just turning all of this up to 11.
It's a little surprising that the writers didn't dig a little deeper into the McConaughey oeuvre for the parody. Maybe McConaughey could have taken the MKC for a party at the Moon Tower from Dazed and Confused. In any case, it's worth a quick watch, so check it out.

Lincoln takes to the Super Bowl with Twitter schizophrenia

Lincoln has officially pulled off the wraps on its ad for this year's Super Bowl. As you may recall, the company invited people to send in their tweets to help craft the spot's story line with Jimmy Fallon in the director's chair. The company chose five tweets and ran with them, and the result is, well, about as focused as your average online comment thread. We do get plenty of shots of the all-new Lincoln MKZ, as well as at least one comment on the interior leather's suppleness.
Do we learn a single thing about the brand's new honey? Nope. But there's a turtle crossing, a band of bikers, a German farming student and herd of alpacas. Mostly, the ad just makes us tired. You can check out the full spot before it airs during the big game by watching it below. We'll be busy preparing for the alpacalypse.
AOL Autos' associate editor Peter Bigelow went deeper in his criticism. Have a read: Lincoln's Super Bowl Ad is A Flop.