Advertising:
2001 Land Rover Discovery Ii Se - Very Low Miles - You Want It. on 2040-cars
Year:2001
Mileage:77138
Location:
Portland, Oregon, United States
|
Hello. Stop everything you are doing. This is the most important ebay ad you will read today; indeed, the most important one you
will ever read. In fact, when, as an elderly person, you look back upon
your life, you will regard the moment you started reading this ad as the
most consequential single instant in your entire life. Not only do you
owe it to yourself to read this ad, see the truck I am selling, buy it
from me, and give me an above market price, but you owe it to your
country, countries, or status as a stateless person (my condolences),
and to the god, gods, or lack of god that you do or do not believe in
(happy holidays). Failure to finish reading this ad will lead to the
premature death of you and all your loved ones.
No pressure. I am selling, and you should buy, a 2001 Land Rover Discovery II. Clear title in hand. It's Desert Tan Metallic. In order to truly understand the enormity of the moral and practical imperatives which make it an urgent necessity that you buy this car, you must first be apprised of information about the model, and about this car in particular. Before you do this, you must be immersed in the English culture from which the Disco originated. Please start playing some dignified Brit music. Now that you are suitably en-musiced, here are some important facts about the Discovery series: Discovery II's run and drive. This is not a property of an individual car, but of most Disco's as a group. Unlike most SUVs, the Disco was not built on an assembly line. They were constructed by hand, outdoors in the fog and rain, by teams of tall, bare-chested Brittish men who swung their tools in a synchronized fashion and chanted automobile-durability incantations in unison while they worked. This is the source of the Discoveries legendary durability. Unlike most cars, the Disco was not designed by professional automotive engineers. Instead, it arrived fully-formed as an inspiration in the mind of the designer while he was ambushed by a sasquatch and trapped under a pile of spotted dick in Downsford Abbey. After he was rescued by the English Bear Cavalry, he returned to work at Land Rover and transcribed, by way of yodeling, his vision onto paper. There are only three known ways to destroy a Land Rover Discovery: 1. Place it in the center of a gasoline tanker explosion and then crush the remains in a hydraulic press 2. Drive it into the fires of Mount Doom, if you are strong-willed enough to part with it. Destroying a Disco in this manner may result in the loss of a finger. 3. E-85 gasoline 4. Don't maintain it. Because the Discovery is the only car capable of withstanding a direct nuclear blast, and cockroaches are the only life form capable of surviving, in the event of a nuclear war, the earth will be populated exclusively by cockroaches driving Discos. You have been warned. When Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden, God did not give them a car. But if he had, it probably would have been a Discovery. And if it had been, then it would probably still be running today. Maybe. I have owned this amazing specimen for two years. I bought it with 62,000 miles and paid $9,000.00. I immediately had a 60,000 mile service done at Green Oval Motors in Portland, OR. The plug wires were replaced, a MAF sensor and it got all new fluids. I replaced the wimpy and tired stock shocks with proper Bilsteins. Yes they are hello and that doesn't matter until you crawl under the car and see them in all their glory. All service records are available, along with oil change records since I have owned it. Shortly after the 60k service, the head gasket was done, also at Green Oval. (Cost $3K) I replaced the rear brake rotors and pads, put a new battery in her, and converted the crappy airbag suspension with coil springs. (No leaking airbags leaving you stranded) I have the stock alloy wheels as well as the steel Land Rover wheels with tires that have less than 10,000 miles on them. The tread is easily at 90 - 95%. It has right around 77,200 miles now and runs great. The milage may go up a tiny bit as I still sometimes drive the truck. Full Disclosure here. I am going to give you the bad along with the awesome. There is nothing that prevents the function and nothing at all serious. I believe in full disclosure and would love it if all car sellers were as honest as me. There is a small exhaust leak on the right hand side of the motor compartment near the header. If I can trace it, I can fix it. We'll see if I have time. Sometimes the air suspension warning light comes on. This is because it is trying to inflate air springs that are not there. It's a simple computer plug in / update that any certified Land Rover shop can do in about 5 minutes, telling the computer that there is no air suspension. The front brakes will probably need pads / rotors in about 10,000 miles. It's a very easy job and you can do it with a jack and jack stands. Because you have assimilated all the important information above, I assume you are now driven by a passionate urgency to purchase this car, and are making calling me your top priority. Fear not, as I am prepared to take your call at any hour of the day or night. Simply make sure you are sitting down, and call (503) 530-9425 with any questions you may have. |
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Mon, Apr 1 2019There is one day out of the year when public relations professionals have permission to lie to journalists and to the public: April Fools' Day. Manufacturers release details about wild, weird and wacky new technology, concept vehicles and services. Some take it to obvious outlandish extremes (Jeep Sedan anybody?), while others plot to mislead with products that are just outside the realm of possibility. Check out all the "jokes" below. BMW Motorrad BMW doesn't want to exclude anybody from experiencing the thrill of high-level racing, so it is introducing 'iRace" autonomous programming on its S 1000 RR sport bike. It includes beginner, sportsman, advanced and unlimited driving modes, and stores GPS information for all Superbike world championship tracks. Hyundai Hyundai is wrong for this. The Hyundai N Roadster is the work of South Korean designer Yeonjoon Park and features a 2.0-liter turbocharged engine, rear-wheel drive and a hard convertible top. Hyundai says this is a "concept (for now)," but we think it'd make a seriously great Mazda Miata competitor. Honda Honda wins the award for the best interactive gimmick, as its press release for the '90s-inspired special-edition Pastport includes a live hotline number with a message from Fred Savage. Call 1-833-PASTPORT for more information. Jeep Put the Jeep Cherokee face on the Chrysler 300's body, and voila! The 2019 Jeep Sedan is born. We can't decide if the name or the rendering is better. Land Rover Accessibility to charging ports is of major concern to anybody with a plug-in vehicle. So, with the recent launch of the Range Rover P400e and Range Rover Sport P400e, Land Rover is putting forth an effort to install more stations around the globe. First up is Scotland's Isle of Skye. Adventurers need juice too! Lexus Australia Lexus expands its Encore service to include doggos. The new service, called Enpaw, will take pups to luxury boarding kennels in style. Toyota U.S. Toyota created the Yaris Adventure pickup for "those who want to tell their friends they own a truck but never veer off pavement." It's part Mazda 2, part RAV4, 100 percent ute and it looks ... great? Creating a new segment might be all fun and games to Toyota, but Ford is reportedly considering a Focus-based ute in a similar, albeit larger, style. Toyota Australia Toyota is launching a new HiAce van, and it's already getting a limited-edition variant called the PieAce.
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