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Watch a Cayenne Turbo S, Range Rover SVR, and Cherokee SRT drag race

We live in a weird world where high-performance SUVs could win a 60-mile-per-hour sprint against sports cars from just a few years ago. Here, Top Gear sets up a three-way drag race against the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, Land Rover Range Rover Sport SVR, and Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT, and the results show just how quickly these high-riding models can cross the quarter mile. The Cherokee SRT is the patriotic choice among the three, but it's down on power in this fight. Meanwhile, the Range Rover's menacing growl sounds the best, and the Cayenne Turbo S has the most horsepower. You'll have to watch the video to see which SUV will win this battle. Related Video:

Vile Gossip: My Jeep Wrangler dreams

Jean Jennings has been writing about cars for more than 30 years, after stints as a taxicab driver and as a mechanic in the Chrysler Proving Grounds Impact Lab. She was a staff writer at Car and Driver magazine, the first executive editor and former president and editor-in-chief of Automobile Magazine, the founder of the blog Jean Knows Cars and former automotive correspondent for Good Morning America. She has lifetime awards from both the Motor Press Guild and the New England Motor Press Association. Look for more Vile Gossip columns in the future.The new 2018 Jeep Wrangler's model designation is JL, my original initials, as in Jean Lienert. Don't Google that. You'll find I died in 2014 in Pittsburgh at age 85. I take this JL thing as a sign from God that I am supposed to finally buy a new Wrangler, the very first car of my dreams when my dreams included saving $25,000 and living off the grid in a one-room log cabin with all of my cast iron pots and pans. I did live in a tiny log cabin once, but when I discovered there was no line for phone, fax and printer, I trudged down the dirt road a half mile, knocked on a stranger's door and borrowed their phone to call AT&T. So much for living off the grid. And so much for the Wrangler. I bought a truck, which was useful, but it was not a Jeep, a fact confirmed when I landed a job writing about cars. Among the Porsches and Fords and Ferraris and Dodge Power Wagons were Jeep Wranglers. Wranglers meant adventure. Here are two favorites:1981 — Delivering the Pig of Bronze, Car and Driver's over-accessorized 1978 project Jeep CJ-7 (named for its chrome hood ornament), to the police chief of rural Waterloo, Neb. He got it because he wrote the editor a letter asking for it. It was my assignment to drive it there. I plotted as many miles of dirt roads as possible between Michigan and Nebraska, not wanting to waste my first big Jeep adventure on pavement and never questioning the ability of this denim-trimmed orange Jeep and its aftermarket aluminum wheels to get us there.So naive. Somewhere in deepest Iowa with the windshield flipped down to the hood for maximum coolness, the Pig's rear end began to shudder. As we rolled to a stop, the photographer looked back in time to see one of the five fancy extra-long chrome lug nuts plop into the dust. Two others had vanished. The last two had backed off to the ends of their studs.

Behind the scenes of our subcompact crossover comparison

The cameras had been set up for almost an hour, and now, the living room filled with the sweetness of freshly brewed blonde roast. The late-summer sun had just started peaking over towering maples. In a week the colors will start changing, the inevitable sign of the coming gray skies and snow. Half past eight, the editors arrived. The Scandinavian inspired house that served as the headquarters for our subcompact crossover comparison couldn’t accommodate all seven of us, so they had stayed at a turn of the century farmhouse down the road. While geese, chickens, cats and sheep made for an authentic Northern Michigan farm experience, ingredients for a good nightÂ’s sleep they were not. Within minutes Red Bulls cracked open and short, cocoa-colored mugs appeared, filled with a variety of caffeinated beverages.  “I thought we were gonna have fried eggs,” Editor-in-Chief Greg Migliore said, smiling, before refusing a muffin. Associate Producer Alex Malburg ran from camera to camera, adjusting focus and exposure, trying to keep up with the ever-changing light, which poured into the room faster each minute.  “I was promised food. IÂ’m not filming.” Consumer Editor Jeremy KorzeniewskiÂ’s sarcasm thinly veiled his true feelings. To keep the group content I promised a craft-services buffet next time.  For the second time, we shot our comparison just outside of Traverse City. While we took advantage of a local off-road park for the first, this round proved a bit more tame, utilizing the hilly, winding, wine-country roads that define the region.  An air of nervousness could be detected. Only one person knew the outcome of our test, Senior Green Editor John Beltz Snyder. I found myself both impressed and surprised he had kept this secret overnight, though I came to find out later that he revealed the winner to Producer Amr Sayour on the drive to dinner the evening before.  The cameras started rolling, the audio recording, but the caffeine hadnÂ’t yet entered the bloodstream, with one exception. Associate Editor Joel Stocksdale sipped his lime green Mountain Dew. That seemed to be working, as he passionately laid out his argument for the Kia Soul and his preference for winter tires over all-wheel drive. From behind the camera I silently disagreed with him. “No one buys winter tires,” Jeremy argued. As we consumed more coffee, the sun came up, and so did the energy of the debate.