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2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT

Jeep's Super 'Ute Is Fun Thrown In The Face Of Conventional Wisdom
Let's talk asses for a moment. What do they have to do with the 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT, you ask?
Well, we're here to tell you that this SRT can haul some. Lots of them, as a matter of fact: Jeep has increased the towing capacity of its most powerful SUV to 7,200 pounds. Assuming the average donkey weighs about 400 pounds, the Grand Cherokee SRT can haul ass to the tune of 18 burros, give or take a covered trailer or so, which is significantly more than it could in previous years. In 2013, the machine could manage 5,000 pounds, while the first generation was rated at just 3,500. The increase is mostly attributable to a new eight-speed automatic transmission and beefier rear axle, and it's a welcome update for those who'd like to use their SUV as, well, an SUV with an emphasis on utility.

Six 'shut up and take my money' cars

Any time you see this iconic moment in pop culture - Shut up and take my money! - posted in response to a new car reveal, rumor for an upcoming model or even lip-service to a vehicle that should exist, you can bet there's some intrinsic good in the idea. Though depending on the person offering up the cash, that good could take the form of extraordinary form, functionality, weight savings, power, handling, etc. You get the idea.
In fact, when I first proposed this list, I reached out to the Autoblog staff to help me brainstorm. Here are some of the ideas they offered up that I ultimately didn't use: Jaguar XE Coupe, Pagani Huayra Roadster, Mercedes-Benz S-Class "parade car" (cabriolet), Morgan 3-Wheeler with Ducati V-twin, Ford Transit Connectamino (pickup), Mercedes CLA63 AMG, Ford Fusion 5.0, BMW i8 Spyder, Lexus RC-F Shooting Brake, Volvo XC90 Polestar. Oh, and things we collectively wanted to stick Dodge's Hellcat in were almost as numerous as models that Fiat Chrysler Automotive currently makes (though none quite so compelling as the Grand Cherokee you see above.)
Ultimately though, while I used a couple of ideas from my colleagues, the list of cars I'd shell out for unquestionably is very personal. Though it isn't complete, what follows is a selection of cars whose very existence would prompt me - or the trust-fund-baby versions of me - to utter without hesitation: "Shut up and take my money."

NHTSA closes probes on Jeep Grand Cherokee, Ford Freestar and Mercury Monterey

The Detroit News reports the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has officially closed its investigations into 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 2004-2005 Ford Freestar and Mercury Monterey models. The separate probes found no issues that pose safety concerns. NHTSA began investigating certain Grand Cherokee SUVs over complaints that power steering hoses could detach during operation, thereby increasing the risk of a vehicle fire. Of the 24 reports of failure, none alleged smoke or fire in the engine bay, and Chrysler has since modified the power steering cooler assembly to reduce the likelihood of the failure.
Meanwhile, certain Ford Freestar and Mercury Monterey vehicles garnered a government probe after receiving complaints that the models were equipped with faulty scissor jacks. The agency had received six reports of the jacks failing or causing injuries, including one incident that resulted in a fatality. But NHTSA says the jack failure rate is similar to those found in other vehicles. In those six cases, the government agency found the jacks were being used for something other than changing a tire, and investigators could not determine whether the emergency brake was set or the rear tires were properly chocked.