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Watch this bad parker get what's coming to him

If you're lucky enough to have a nice vehicle, do your fellow gearheads a favor and don't park like a clown. Seriously. Not only will you anger everyone who is trying to find a place to park, but your nice car is a billboard reinforcing the stereotype that car people are self-important and inconsiderate.
Take this gentleman for example. He has a Jaguar XK, and understandably wants to take care of it. Rather than parking it far, far away from any other cars and getting a bit of exercise by walking to his building, he takes up two spots (albeit barely) close to the structure. From the cameraman's narration, we can tell his coworkers are less than thrilled about his inability to stay between the lines.
Naturally, they wanted to teach him a lesson, so they parked a bigger vehicle as close to his driver's door as possible. Mr. XK's attempts to enter his vehicle are rather amusing, culminating in his climbing through the passenger side and scooching over to the driver's seat. While we can debate this sort of treatment all day long, it was effective. The video includes a follow up at the end showing where the XK driver parked the next day, and as you might guess, it wasn't in the same spot.

Jaguar says F-Type sales off to flying start

As we noted in our recent first drive, Jaguar's luscious new F-Type roadster is a bit of a tweener in both size and cost, lining up in between rival Porsche's Boxster and 911. That one-for-two-segment strategy is showing early signs of paying off, with Automotive News reporting that half of the car's 2014 production allotment is already sold. We're not talking huge numbers - sports cars in this segment only "have a global annual volume of about 75,000 units and a market share of 0.1 percent," notes Jaguar brand director Adrian Hallmark. Yet the company figures the F-Type will work out to about 15 to 20 percent of its total volume of around 60,000 units.
From where we sit, this is all very encouraging news, but it's way too early to call the F-Type a smash hit. The sports car segment is known for its fickleness and its front-loaded sales curve, so the real measure of success will be how it fares over the next few years after early adopters get their cars. Jaguar will have to work to keep the F-Type fresh with new variants, and we hear it's prepared to do just that. The British luxury marque hasn't confirmed a hardtop coupe variant yet, but patent images and spy shots suggest one is on the way shortly, and it ought to extend the model's appeal greatly. A four-cylinder option and a manual transmission have also been rumored, and presumably Jaguar will eventually launch higher-performance R and R-S variants as it has done with various model lines, including its other sporty two door, the XK grand tourer.

Jaguar crossover won't be based on Evoque or have off-road chops

Jaguar's long-rumored crossover won't be built on the same platform as the Land Rover Range Rover Evoque, says the Australian site Car Advice. The future of the new CUV remains uncertain, but if Jaguar does dip its toes into the SUV/crossover pool, though, the new vehicle will likely be a car-based soft roader, lacking (or perhaps more appropriately, not needing) the off-road-engineered chops inherent in Land Rover's small CUV platform.
Jaguar product planner Steven De Ploey explained to Car Advice, "There's many groups around the world [platform sharing] - obviously Volkswagen Group is doing it all the time - but I think we have to be careful. He added, "Jaguar is something quite different... It's about capability, but very much on-road focused capability." That seems to gel with our suspicions that the XQ, as it's expected to be called, will share its platform with an upcoming small Jaguar sedan, the oft-rumored X-Type successor.
Still, we'd recommend taking any mention of a Jaguar crossover with a grain of salt. Based on many of the (quite compelling) statements made by De Ploey against a Jag crossover and previous statements made by Jag's design boss, Ian Callum, the case against a leaper-bearing crossover seems strong. If a high-rider were to arrive from Jaguar, though, the article insinuates that it'd be more in line with the BMW X6 or upcoming X4 - sort of a coupe-based crossover. Like we said, grain of salt. If a Jag crossover is going to arrive soon, the upcoming Frankfurt Motor Show is the most likely locale for its debut. We'll find out in a few weeks.