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Jaguar puts Mourinho on ice

There is principal among the persecuted to embrace insults and turn them around. That's how the gay community turned "queer" from a pejorative term into a badge of pride. Now Jaguar has done the same with "footballer's car." While this has been generally seen as the UK equivalent of a "rapper's car," generally a big four-wheel-drive such as a Range Rover, blinged up so as to make it unusable off-road, Jaguar has taken the curious step of deliberately putting a footballer in the new F-Pace. Before you can even buy a Jaguar F-Pace, the company has taken ex-Chelsea and Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho to Northern Sweden to drive a prototype on ice. And there is not an ounce of bling about the event. It was run on 60 km (37 miles) of frozen lake at Jaguar Land Rover's extreme testing facility in Arjeplog, Sweden, which is 40 miles from the Arctic Circle. And it's not just JLR engineers who get to do this. Jaguar sells the "Jaguar Ice Drive Experience," while Porsche has something similar and if you really want to go for it there is a company that does it in Porsches, Maseratis, and the wonderful Alfa 4C. But those are not footballers' cars. Jag quotes Mourinho as saying, "The experience was magnificent. For people in my world, I think a few days in a place like this is magnificent." However even if you read it in a Spanish accent it still sounds like it was written by a PR man. Ditto the quote "I am always learning. Even in football, which is an area that obviously I feel that I'm an expert, I'm never perfect and I always learn." What Jaguar gets out of the association is some quotes about Mourinho's plans – he's going to stay in the UK – which means the major UK papers might pick it up. They probably will and then ignore all the cool ice driving stuff. What we get as car nuts is some awesome footage of the car power-sliding with rooster tails of snow. It's a good looking car; I've seen some testing on the roads around Jaguar's home of Coventry and did a double take. It's a little Macan-like but better looking. I've driven the F-Type with both the 375-HP V6 used in the Mourinho F-Pace piece and the 550-hp supercharged V8, and the V6 is plenty. Until you drive the V8, which blows your mind way. Indeed I have the letter on my desk pleading guilty to the fixed penalty (62 in a 50) that I picked up in the F-Type. What you can't tell from the video is how good the V6 sounds. How it does a nice little wake-the-neighbours blip when you switch it on.

Jaguar design chief Ian Callum rules out station wagons

If you liked the idea of a Jaguar wagon and were secretly hoping that the British automaker might bring one over, we have some unfortunate news for you. Not only will the company not bring any wagons to the North American market, but according to design chief Ian Callum, it won't be making any at all. "The [wagon] market is massively shrinking. I'm very sad about it but it's a very difficult market to justify," Callum told Automotive News Europe. German automakers Audi, BMW, and Mercedes can make wagons work because their home market is the largest for wagons in the world and any wagons they sell elsewhere are just chocolate icing on the Black Forest cake. For its part, Jaguar has produced two wagon models in the X-Type and the previous XF Sportbrake. That's a shame in Jaguar's case, because the XFR-S Sportbrake was a heck of a ride that left us wondering why anyone would want something taller. Those of like mind, we suppose, will just have to content themselves instead with German wagons like the Audi A6 Allroad, BMW 3 Series, Mercedes E-Class, and Volkswagen Golf SportWagen – and hope that Volvo doesn't get squeezed out of the wagon market as well. Related Video:

Jaguar vs. Jetman: Place your bets

As many car-versus-jet races as we've seen on video, we never seem to tire of them. This latest one, however, doesn't so much pit a car against a jet airplane, per se, but a guy in a jetpack against a supercharged Jaguar. That in and of itself might make this clip worth a watch. The guy in question is one Yves Rossy, otherwise known as the Jetman. The Swiss air force aviator developed, wears, and pilots a six-and-a-half-foot-wide fixed wing fashioned from carbon fiber and fitted with four jet turbines strapped to its underside, each good for 88 pounds of thrust. He's flown it over the Alps, across the English Channel, and above the Grand Canyon, but now he faces off against another adversary. That, of course, would be the Jaguar XJR, complete with 5.0-liter supercharged V8 good for 550 horsepower. Piloting the performance sedan is none other than Martin Brundle, a former F1 driver, Le Mans winner, and television commentator. The two line up on and above a 1.75-mile stretch of road in the deserts of Dubai for the showdown. We could tell you who won, but you'll want to watch the video above for yourself to find out first-hand. And if you want to know more about the Jetman and his amazing flying creation, watch the video below. Related Video: F1 Star Martin Brundle and New Jaguar XJR Take on High-Flying 'Jetman' in World-First Desert Drag Race - Martin Brundle drives new 2016 model year Jaguar XJR in 1.75-mile live car race against 'Jetman' Yves Rossy in the Dubai desert - Head-to-head race demonstrates the benefits of lightweight construction on agility, performance and control in the air and on the road - Sandy conditions offer a clear demonstration of the benefits of the Jaguar XJ's new All-Surface Progress Control (ASPC) - New short film captures the action: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xssOxHoEhrk - Brundle and Rossy discuss comparable technology within their two machines The Jetman Dubai pilot Yves Rossy, took on his first ever live race when he went head-to-head against a Jaguar XJR driven by former Formula One star Martin Brundle in a unique contest deep in the Dubai desert. Brundle, who drove in F1 alongside Michael Schumacher and is now a commentator, had the new all-aluminium 550PS, 5.0-litre Supercharged V8 Jaguar XJR at his disposal while Rossy was strapped to his 2m-wide fixed wing, powered by four Jet-Cat superchargers. The race took place on a closed private road and in the skies above it, and was captured in a three-minute short film.