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Jaguar puts Mourinho on ice

There is principal among the persecuted to embrace insults and turn them around. That's how the gay community turned "queer" from a pejorative term into a badge of pride. Now Jaguar has done the same with "footballer's car." While this has been generally seen as the UK equivalent of a "rapper's car," generally a big four-wheel-drive such as a Range Rover, blinged up so as to make it unusable off-road, Jaguar has taken the curious step of deliberately putting a footballer in the new F-Pace. Before you can even buy a Jaguar F-Pace, the company has taken ex-Chelsea and Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho to Northern Sweden to drive a prototype on ice. And there is not an ounce of bling about the event. It was run on 60 km (37 miles) of frozen lake at Jaguar Land Rover's extreme testing facility in Arjeplog, Sweden, which is 40 miles from the Arctic Circle. And it's not just JLR engineers who get to do this. Jaguar sells the "Jaguar Ice Drive Experience," while Porsche has something similar and if you really want to go for it there is a company that does it in Porsches, Maseratis, and the wonderful Alfa 4C. But those are not footballers' cars. Jag quotes Mourinho as saying, "The experience was magnificent. For people in my world, I think a few days in a place like this is magnificent." However even if you read it in a Spanish accent it still sounds like it was written by a PR man. Ditto the quote "I am always learning. Even in football, which is an area that obviously I feel that I'm an expert, I'm never perfect and I always learn." What Jaguar gets out of the association is some quotes about Mourinho's plans – he's going to stay in the UK – which means the major UK papers might pick it up. They probably will and then ignore all the cool ice driving stuff. What we get as car nuts is some awesome footage of the car power-sliding with rooster tails of snow. It's a good looking car; I've seen some testing on the roads around Jaguar's home of Coventry and did a double take. It's a little Macan-like but better looking. I've driven the F-Type with both the 375-HP V6 used in the Mourinho F-Pace piece and the 550-hp supercharged V8, and the V6 is plenty. Until you drive the V8, which blows your mind way. Indeed I have the letter on my desk pleading guilty to the fixed penalty (62 in a 50) that I picked up in the F-Type. What you can't tell from the video is how good the V6 sounds. How it does a nice little wake-the-neighbours blip when you switch it on.

Watch new Jaguar XF perform a literal high-wire act

Coming out with a new luxury sedan can be a truly daunting prospect. Make it too edgy and you'll risk disenfranchising what can often be a rather conservative customer base. Make it too conservative and you may fail to attract enough new customers or generate enough interest to make the endeavor worthwhile. Whether Jaguar succeeded in walking that thin line with the new XF is a matter of personal taste, blending as it does elements from the smaller XE and the outgoing XF it replaces. But in launching the new model, Jaguar didn't just pull of a figurative high-wire act – it did quite a literal one. To drum up support for its newest debut, Jaguar undertook the stunt depicted in the video above, stringing a pair of carbon-fiber cables some 60 feet above the River Thames in London. With some guide wires and counterbalance weights to keep it all in check, and a motion-picture stunt crew orchestrating it all, the new XF drove over 780 feet from one bank of the river to the other, setting a new world record in the process. Instead of thinking too hard about the whys (seriously, though... why?) and hows, we suggest you just watch the video above. Related Video:

Your guide to vehicle subscription services

They might be extremely limited in scope because of location availability, but vehicle subscription services are a growing trend that most luxury manufacturers are jumping on. Plans are expensive, but you're paying for much more than just the car typically. We highlighted four of the larger plans with a few more listed at the end. Care by Volvo Volvo launched its subscription service last year with its brand-new XC40. It was the only vehicle available for a time, but subscribers can now get an S60 sedan as well. Subscriptions are for two years, with the monthly price including insurance, a concierge service, wear-and-tear item replacements and all maintenance. You'll be able to drive 15,000 miles per year with whichever Volvo you choose, and although there are no options to extend that mileage, you can swap cars after a year. Pricing for the XC40 is $650 per month in base trim, while an S60 can be as expensive as $850 for the R-Design. Volvo's plan is to offer more cars soon through the service, but it's relatively limited compared to others right now. Porsche Passport Porsche has two levels in its subscription service: Launch and Accelerate. Launch will cost $2,000 per month and give you access to the Cayman, Boxster, Macan and Cayenne. All of those but the Cayenne can be had in "S" trim as well. Accelerate is where the fun really starts. For $3,000 per month you can choose from a fleet of 911s, including the S, 4S, Cabriolet and Cabriolet S. If those aren't enough, you can also get the Panamera 4S, Macan GTS and Cayenne S. There are no mileage limits and you can change vehicles as often as you'd like. Also included in the price is insurance, repairs, detailing and any maintenance. It might be extremely expensive and limited to Atlanta only, but this subscription service is second-to-none for what you get. Audi Select Audi just launched its subscription car service, and it's offered in one version for a flat fee of $1,395 per month. For that you'll have access to five different cars including the A4, S5 Coupe, A5 Cabriolet, Q5, and Q7. Not a bad range of vehicles, but it would've been neat to see the recently updated A7 in there too. Maybe in time. Like the others, insurance and maintenance are wrapped up in the price. Audi is allowing for unlimited miles and two car swaps per month here. In addition to that, you'll get two days of free rentals through Audi's Silvercar rental agency should you go on a trip.