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Out With A Bang: Hummer dealer giving away free shotgun with every new vehicle purchase

Lynch Hummer dealership in Chesterfield, Missouri - Click above for image gallery
You've heard of art imitating life? Well how about life imitating war? That's another story entirely, but not so far fetched when it comes to the Hummer. The sport-'ute that met the public eye during Operation Desert Storm has all but completely gone through its entire life cycle in the intervening years: first as a military-only vehicle, the original model became available to the public, then GM bought the rights and started churning out pickup-based H2s and H3s, the U.S. armed forces went back Iraq, the original H1 was discontinued and now GM is preparing to wind down the brand entirely. But not before one last pistol-shootin' hoorah, courtesy of the one dealership that arguably sees the truck for what it is more than any other: Lynch Hummer.
The St. Louis-area franchise made headlines last year when they started filling their emptying showroom with gun racks, selling firearms to make up for dwindling sales in the gigantic SUVs. Now the dealership is connecting the dots with a one-of-a-kind promotion: Buy a Hummer, get a free shotgun.

Turn Out the Lights: Final Hummer H3 rolls off the line... for Avis

2010 Hummer H3 - Click above for high-res image gallery
Would the last one out the door please switch off the lights? The long strange trip that has been the Hummer brand is just about over for General Motors. The final ever production H3 rolled out of GM's Shreveport, Louisiana factory on Monday May 24, 2010 on its way to an Avis rental car outlet. As you may recall, GM had actually stopped assembling H3s in mid-2009 as it went through bankruptcy, but it resumed production recently in order to fill an 849 unit special order.
GM tried to sell the Hummer brand to Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machines Co., Ltd but the deal ultimately fell apart last February. A subsequent offer from Raser Technologies also went nowhere. Now that production has ceased, 200 of the 900 remaining employees at Shreveport will be laid off by July and the rest of the Hummer staff back at headquarters in Detroit is either leaving or being reassigned.

Are orphan cars better deals?

Most folks don't know a Saturn Aura from an Oldsmobile Aurora. Those of you who are immersed in the labyrinth of automobilia know that both cars were testaments to the mediocrity that was pre-bankruptcy General Motors, and that both brands are now long gone. But everybody else? Not so much. By the same token, there are some excellent cars and trucks that don't raise an eyebrow simply because they were sold under brands that are no longer being marketed. Orphan brands no longer get any marketing love, and because of that they can be alarmingly cheap. Case in point, take a look at how a 2010 Saturn Outlook compares with its siblings, the GMC Acadia and Buick Enclave. According to the Manheim Market Report, the Saturn will sell at a wholesale auto auction for around $3,500 less than the comparably equipped Buick or GMC. Part of the reason for this price gap is that most large independent dealerships, such as Carmax, make it a point to avoid buying cars with orphaned badges. Right now if you go to Carmax's site, you'll find that there are more models from Toyota's Scion sub-brand than Mercury, Saab, Pontiac, Hummer, and Saturn combined. This despite the fact that these brands collectively sold in the millions over the last ten years while Scion has rarely been able to realize a six-figure annual sales figure for most of its history. That is the brutal truth of today's car market. When the chips are down, used-car shoppers are nearly as conservative as their new-car-buying counterparts. Unfamiliarity breeds contempt. Contempt leads to fear. Fear leads to anger, and pretty soon you wind up with an older, beat-up Mazda MX-5 in your driveway instead of looking up a newer Pontiac Solstice or Saturn Sky. There are tons of other reasons why orphan cars have trouble selling in today's market. Worries about the cost of repair and the availability of parts hang over the industry's lost toys like a cloud of dust over Pigpen. Yet any common diagnostic repair database, such as Alldata, will have a complete framework for your car's repair and maintenance, and everyone from junkyards to auto parts stores to eBay and Amazon stock tens of thousands of parts. This makes some orphan cars mindblowingly awesome deals if you're willing to shop in the bargain bins of the used-car market. Consider a Suzuki Kizashi with a manual transmission. No, really.