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Project Ugly Horse: Part IX

One Step at a Time
Nearly every flavor of exotic driveline has been shoved into the ubiquitous Ford at some point or another.
Chuck Schwynoch had been patiently listening to my ramblings on the other end of the phone for a solid half hour. I'm not too big of a man to know when to ask for help, and at this point, I desperately needed some assistance. The truth is, working on a machine like a Fox Body Mustang is as easy as breathing thanks to the wealth of information available on the web. Nearly every flavor of exotic driveline has been shoved into the ubiquitous Ford at some point or another, and odds are the sorry souls behind those builds shared the highs and lows of their torment with the internet community.

The U-2 spy plane needs high-performance cars to help land

Typically, aircraft deploy their landing gear from three main points. Most military aircraft, for example, deploy two gears at the back and one forward, like a tricycle. Some civilian aircraft flip the layout, with two in front and one in back - tail-draggers. The U-2 Dragon Lady is wildly different than any of these. With a 103-foot wingspan but a body that's just 63-feet long, the layout of the U-2 makes a traditional landing setup infeasible. Instead, the U-2 utilizes a pair of wheels, one up front and one in back. With such a bizarre layout, landings are so tough that since the U-2's earliest flights at Area 51, the US Air Force has used high-performance chase cars to guide the pilot down safely. The landing process isn't over there, though. As this video from Sploid shows, balancing out the aircraft to fit the detachable "pogos" – think training wheels for spy planes – is a comical procedure requiring a number of airman using their full body weight to even out the U-2. This video also recaps some of the great vehicles that have served as chase vehicles for this legendary spy plane. They include Chevrolet El Caminos, and the Fox-body Ford Mustangs so favored by the California Highway Patrol. For the last several years, the USAF has utilized products from General Motors, using fourth-generation Chevy Camaros, before switching over to the Pontiac GTO and most recently, the awesome Pontiac G8. It's fair to say that if you're a gearhead in the Air Force, this is the job you want. Check out the video, embedded up top. News Source: Sploid via YouTubeImage Credit: Sploid Chevrolet Ford GM Pontiac Military Performance Videos

Even Ford executives had issues with MyFord Touch

MyFord Touch is one of the auto industry's more controversial features. The media broadly panned the infotainment system developed with Microsoft for its slow responses and reliance on voice commands to navigate its deep menus. Oh, and Ford executives weren't big fans, either. Newly revealed court documents in a California class-action lawsuit demonstrate the level of venom Ford employees, both big and small, reserved for the Blue Oval's infotainment system. An error caused Bill Ford's navigation system to crash, leaving the family scion stuck on the side of the road in an unfamiliar area. The documents, unearthed by Forbes, detail current CEO Mark Fields' aggravations with MFT, too. A mechanic emailed an image of a cracked infotainment screen on an Edge to one of Ford's top Sync engineers, Kenneth Williams, suggesting "Mark Fields may have been a little aggravated with the system." But Ford and Fields' issues are nothing compared to the woes of the engineers that had to work on MFT. In a collection of emails obtained by Forbes, one engineer called the system "a polished turd," while another simply said, "These poor customers." And after one engineer suggested using a photo of Ford's Oakville Assembly Plant – home of the Edge, Flex, Lincoln MKX, and MKT production – as a background for the system, one of his coworkers said in an email that someone should instead Photoshop the image to read "abandon hope all ye who enter here," the Detroit News reports. Another summed up the problem, saying: "Ford's quality reputation is completely on the line ... another model year with the same crap is not acceptable." MyFord Touch almost single-handedly torpedoed Ford's reputation in widely reported quality metrics, including JD Power and Consumer Reports. Ford responded with a refreshed Sync3, a wildly improved rethink of its infotainment system that is far more responsive and easier to live with every day. Related Video: News Source: Forbes, The Detroit NewsImage Credit: Ford Government/Legal Ford Lincoln Technology Mark Fields sync 3