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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part two

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and can hold his breath longer than he can go without swearing. For Part One, click here. Or you can skip ahead to Part Three here. I write about surfing for a living. If you can call it a living. Basically means I spend my days fucking around and my wife pays for everything. Because she's got a real job that pays well. Brings home the bacon. Very progressive arrangement. Super twenty first century. I run a surf website, beachgrit.com, with two other guys. It's a strange gig. More or less uncensored. Kind of popular. Very good at alienating advertisers. My behavior has cost us a few bucks. I'm terrible at self-censorship. Know there's a line out there, no idea where it lies. I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. For contests I do long rambling write ups. They rarely make much sense. Mainly just talk about my life, whatever random thoughts pop into my head. "Can you do something similar for Le Mans?" "Sure, but I know absolutely fuck-all about racing." "That's okay. Just write what you want." "Will do. But you're gonna need to edit my stuff. Probably censor it heavily." So here I am. I spent the last week trying to learn all I can about the sport of endurance racing. But there's only so much you can jam in your head. And I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. While I rambled things were happening. Tracy Krohn spun into the gravel on the Forza chicane. #89 is out of the race after an accident I missed. Pegasus racing hit the wall on the Porsche curves. Bashed up front end, in the garage getting fixed. Toyota and Porsche are swapping back and forth in the front three. Ford back in the lead in GTE Pro. #91 Porsche took a stone through the radiator, down two laps. Not good. The wife and I are one of those weird childless couples that spend way too much time caring for the needs of their pet. French bulldog, Mr Eugene Victor Debs. Great little guy. Spent the last four years training him to be obedient and friendly. Nice thing about dogs, when you're sick of dealing with them you can just lock 'em in another room for a few hours. You don't need to worry about paying for college.

Justin Bell makes a horrible policeman

If you're wondering what type of person makes a good police officer, it seems a racecar driver doesn't. Let us rephrase that: Justin Bell, a racecar driver and the host of Motor Trend's World's Fastest Car Show, recently got behind the wheel of a 5.0-liter Ford Mustang police car with Sergeant Daniel Shrubb, co-founder of DRAGG (Drag Racing Against Gangs and Graffiti), and proved that his high-performance-driving skillset is a bit too aggressive for police duty.
While it's easy to get carried away in a Mustang GT, a patrol car driver must maintain some sort of restraint while pursuing a criminal, so as not to come off as a reckless driver to the public. We'll admit, some pursuit techniques are counter-intuitive to performance driving (stay off the gas in a lane-change exercise?), but Bell's judicious use of the handbrake can't be normal procedure.
Watch "The One With The Ford Mustang 5.0 Police Car" (yes, we caught the Friends reference too) below to see some shenanigans in one of Michigan's finest patrol cars.

Ford Australia pulls the ol' talking car prank

Siri from Apple has proven that being able to talk to your technology doesn't always work perfectly. But what if it could eventually go far enough to give a personality to inanimate objects like our cars? Ford took just this path to comedic effect by playing a prank on many unsuspecting Australians, in a new commercial for its EcoSport compact crossover.
The Aussies seem very nonchalant about having a random parked car talk to them, and they seem surprisingly game when it asks them to get in, call a celebrity and tell a joke. (We're guessing there are some hilarious outtakes, too.) Scroll down to watch some folks from Down Under have a conversation with Ford's CUV.