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Junkyard Gem: 1993 Mercury Topaz GS Sedan

As long as the Mercury brand existed — a period spanning the 1939 through 2011 model years — nearly every Mercury sold in the United States was more or less a redecorated Ford model. The Torino had its Montego sibling, the Crown Victoria had the Grand Marquis, the Cougar was based on everything from the Mustang to the Mondeo, and so on. Naturally, when the folks in Dearborn developed the Ford Tempo compact, a Mercury version had to be created. This was the Topaz, with the official launch of both cars taking place on the deck of the aircraft carrier often referred to as the USS Decrepit. You can't make this stuff up! The Tempo/Topaz, also known as the Tempaz, has largely faded from our collective automotive memory by now, since it broke no significant new engineering or styling ground (this story would be much different if Ford had only put the amazing straight-eight "T-Drive" Tempaz powertrain into production) and didn't have any endearing features other than being a cheap domestic competitor to the Toyota Corolla and Nissan Sentra. Still, close to 3 million Tempazes left North American Ford and Lincoln-Mercury showrooms during the 1984-1994 period. As you'd expect, most of these disposable cars disappeared from both the street and the car graveyard long ago. It takes a very special Tempaz for me to break out my camera while I'm patrolling my local wrecking yards; generally, this means an ultra-rare all-wheel-drive version or at least a very early model in super-clean condition. Today's Junkyard Gem is neither, but I took one look at this spectacular Bordello Red crypto-velour-and-slippery-plastic interior and recognized that this was no ordinary junkyard Mercury. It appears that Mercury had dropped the idea of clever names for base-grade seat fabrics by the time of the Topaz, referring to this stuff as just "cloth" in all the brochures I could find. That's too bad, because Mercurys had cool names for upholstery (e.g., Chromatex) in the old days. The interior is in very good condition but the steering wheel shows substantial wear, so I think this is a high-mile Topaz that got meticulous care from its owner or owners. Ford used five-digit odometers on these cars until the end of production, however, so we'll never know if this reading indicates 65,404 miles or 365,404 miles. The body is very straight, but there's some nasty corrosion behind the right front wheelwell.

Man turns Ford Fiesta into a one-car band

The one-man band is a rather ridiculous idea, drawing up images of one person attempting to manipulate several instruments, at once, in a vain attempt at creating music. It's usually represented by silly scenes like this. Interestingly, the concept isn't much more successful when the "man" in "one-man band" is replaced with "car," as we see in this video.
It seems that someone rigged up and edited (699 times, we might add) a Ford Fiesta, a bucket, 12 PVC pipes and the natural sounds that a car makes to come up with a song. Now, we don't recognize the tune, so we've no idea if this is a cover or an original piece. And while it's hardly Beethoven, we have to admire the amount of effort the "conductor" went to in his attempt to turn a subcompact car into a musical instrument(s). Take a look (or listen) below for the entire video.

Shelby GT500 and Roush Stage 3 go head to head at the drag strip

The Ford Mustang is a brilliantly affordable source of horsepower, with a base 300-plus-horsepower version available for well under $30,000. Jumping up to about $35,000 will get you a solid 420 horsepower from a high-revving V8, while those with some extra disposable income can get a pair of 600-plus-horsepower monsters. Both the Roush Stage 3 with its Phase 3 package and Ford's factory Shelby GT500 even crest the 650-horsepower mark, with 675 and 662 ponies, respectively.
Naturally, someone needed to find out which of these hi-po Mustangs was the quickest. And while this video is quite obviously a dealership commercial, at least there's some solid drag racing between two of the most powerful performance machines available for under $100,000.
With two NHRA drag racers at the wheel, the Stage 3 and GT500 go head to head for three races. Scroll down below to see the results in the full video.