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Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

And the Top Gear UK Cars of the Year for 2013 are...

Those loony Brits at Top Gear have named their Car of the Year, and if you're thinking it's the McLaren P1, Jaguar F-Type, Land Rover Range Rover Sport or Rolls-Royce Wraith, we're sorry to inform you that none of those Anglo automobiles earned the crown. In fact, the winner of Top Gear's most prestigious award is quite the surprise.
Of course, those cars weren't without their own awards. The P1 was the top hypercar (sorry, Porsche 918 and Ferrari LaFerrari), while the F-Type netted best convertible and the Range Rover Sport was voted SUV of the Year. Other honorable mentions included the Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black and S-Class, the Porsche 911 GT3, the BMW i3 and the Ferrari 458 Speciale. The winner, though, wasn't even a high-dollar supercar. It was the Ford Fiesta ST.
Yes, the Fiesta ST beat out some off-the-wall cars like the revolutionary Volkswagen XL1 and the bonkers Peugeot 208 T16 Pikes Peak, not to mention all the cars we listed above, to take the title of Top Gear Car of the Year. And if you've driven one, you'll completely understand why.

Buy Ford and GM stock and make 5%

Want to make a five-percent return when 10-year treasuries are paying around two percent? Ford (F) and General Motors (GM) have solid balance sheets, strong cash flow, solid earnings, and growing markets. By all accounts, they are smart investments. But the market is down on these stocks. Why? Some of the stupid excuses include: They are cyclical companies The Detroit 3 have lost 3.5 million in sales since 2000 The world economy is shaky GM recently filed for bankruptcy Their markets have peaked They haven't changed their ways Let's take these criticisms one by one: They Are Cyclical Companies Yes, they are cyclical. Every company is cyclical. Every industry is cyclical. Some more than others, but not every company is immune from swings in the market. Banks used to be 'non-cyclical' leader, not anymore. Airline stocks are just as cyclical as auto stocks, yet they are trading at multiples greater than the auto industry. Why? And what accounts for the irrational stock price for Tesla (TSLA)? At least Ford (F) and General Motors (GM) make money and have positive cash flows. In fact, both companies have a net positive cash position. They have more cash on hand than liabilities. Auto sales in the United States hit a record 17.5 million vehicles in 2015. During the Great Recession, Ford (F) and General Motors (GM) cut their break even points to 10 million vehicles per year. Anything above an annual U.S. volume of 10 million vehicles is profit. And what a profit they make. Sales of Ford's F-150 continues to be the best-selling vehicle in the United States for over 30 years. Detroit 3 Have Lost 3.5 million in Sales Since 2000 Automotive News reports General Motors (GM), Ford (F) and Chrysler (FCA) have lost a combined 3.5 million vehicles sales since 2000. So how can they be making more money? Two big reasons – Fleet Sales and the UAW. Fleet Sales The Detroit 3 used to own car rental companies to keep their factories running. Ford owned Hertz (HTZ), General Motors owned all of National Car Rental and 29 percent of Avis, and Chrysler, the forerunner to Fiat Chrysler (FCA), used to own Thrifty Car Rental and Dollar Rent-A-Car. The Detroit 3 owned these rental companies to have a place to sell their bad product and keep their factories running. These were low margin sales, and in many cases, were money losers for the Detroit 3. They no longer own auto rental companies.