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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Race recap: 2015 British Grand Prix is a testament to timing

In front of his home crowd, Lewis Hamilton actually had to work for pole position at the British Formula One Grand Prix. The World Champion couldn't get on top of the setup for his Mercedes-AMG Petronas on Friday, lapping behind teammate Nico Rosberg and the two Ferraris. Come Saturday, after a few alterations and a whole lot of wing to clamp down on understeer, Hamilton returned to his regular program at the front, taking pole position by just over a tenth of a second from his teammate. Williams, thought to be headed for another stretch in the weeds a few races ago, showed its best strength all year. The Grove team got both cars on the second row and in front of the Ferraris, Felipe Massa qualifying ahead of teammate Valtteri Bottas, but they were eight and nine tenths behind the Mercedes'. Kimi Raikkonen out-qualified Ferrari teammate Sebastian Vettel for the second time this year, and only the first time in a straight-up battle with two healthy cars. But more than a second behind the two cars at the front, and with two nearly-impossible-to-pass Williams' in front, neither the Finn nor the German is happy with where they are. Daniil Kvyat claimed seventh, his side of the garage at Infiniti Red Bull Racing having got through the weekend to that point without a single complaint about their Renault power unit. Carlos Sainz, Jr. put a single Toro Rosso inside the top ten in eighth position, ahead of Nico Hulkenberg who did the same for Sahara Force India by slotting in ninth. The second Infiniti Red Bull driven by Daniel Ricciardo did have an unspecified engine complaint – his car kept "bleeding power" on the straights – but even so he managed to qualify tenth with his second-fastest lap. The stewards deleted his best lap because he ran three centimeters outside the track limits at Copse, an infraction that stung a few other drivers as well. Up in front, what would sting the Mercedes-AMG Petronas drivers the most was the start. That's when a dearth of grip struck both Hamilton and Rosberg, allowing Massa and Bottas to slide right up the middle between them and take the first two places. The leapfrogging was so surprising that it looked like the Mercedes drivers were giving the Williams drivers a head start. They diced through the first corners, Hamilton sliding past Bottas into second place halfway through the lap. And then the safety car reported for duty.

CA man accused of stealing same Ferrari twice

Cars get stolen all the time. It's an unfortunate reality, but a reality nonetheless. It's just unusual when the same guy steals the same car twice, but that's what apparently occurred recently in Fontana, CA.
That's where one Earnie Hooks was arrested late last month driving a black Ferrari 458 Spider. According to police, Hooks was intoxicated when he arrived at a roadside checkpoint, and when they ran the plates, they found the car was reported as stolen.
Hooks managed to evade police (not too hard to imagine given the car he was driving) and later abandoned the car, which was taken to the impound. Around 3 am the next morning, though, someone broke into the impound and stole the car... again. Hooks was found five days later in Studio City, still driving the stolen Ferrari. He was arrested and somehow still had the gall to plead not guilty to the charges of car theft and resisting arrest.