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Race Recap: 2013 Italian Grand Prix is mistakes, gremlins and metronomes [spoilers]

The low-downforce, 5.793-kilometer circuit in Monza, Italy is known as the Temple of Speed, but only a few of the qualifying performances would have clued you into it. Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber in the Infiniti Red Bull Racing chassis' lined up first and second, and it didn't seem like Vettel had to work too hard to do so. Nico Hülkenberg truly lived up to his nickname, The Hulk, and put his Sauber third on the grid, a massive drive and turn-of-speed that even he didn't expect, especially with his teammate Esteban Gutiérrez down in 13th.
The rest of the top ten was what you might expect. Shenanigans at Ferrari ended up with Felipe Massa out-qualifying Fernando Alonso for fourth and fifth, a situation that led to Alonso calling his team either "stupid" or "genius," depending on how you translate his Italian, his sarcasm and his honesty. They were followed by Nico Rosberg in the Mercedes-AMG Petronas, the soon-to-be Infiniti Red Bull driver Daniel Ricciardo in the Toro Rosso, the McLaren duo of Sergio Perez and Jenson Button and the second Toro Rosso of Jean-Eric Vergne.
Why wasn't Kimi Räikkönen at Lotus in that group? Because his car only had the pace to make 11th on the grid, so he said. And behind him, Lewis Hamilton - who "drove like an idiot," in his words - in the second Mercedes.

Want to buy a worst-in-show-winning Faux Ferrari Fiero?

UPDATE: This heap sold for $5,001. But don't fret, there are more terrible cars out there for the taking if that's your thing. Today we bring you something truly terrible. It's not just a fake Ferrari built on the guts of an old Pontiac Fiero, it's actually the world's worst fake Ferrari built on the guts of an old Pontiac Fiero. And it's got the award from the Concours d'Lemons to prove it. It's so heinous, in fact, that it has somehow managed to become desirable, at least judging by the bidding history of this bright red affront to Maranello. Powered by a 140-horsepower 2.8-liter V6 engine (covered by an unconvincing and broken fake V12 cover) hooked to an automatic gearbox, this gloriously poor Prancing Horse won't be winning many stoplight drag races. There are bundles of stray wires hanging down from the dashboard, it has high mileage, most of its lights don't work, and it's ugly. Like, really ugly. And to top it off, this Fauxrarri can't currently be registered in its home state of California because it has failed its most recent smog test. Put simply, you're looking at a total piece of junk. But a piece of junk with internet notoriety, having been featured on an episode of Jay Leno's Garage after attending the 2019 Quail Motorsports Gathering — by mistake at first, and then earning a special place next to the porta potties — being the focus of a video series on YouTube and winning the aforementioned ribbon for Worst in Show at Lemons. Somehow, bidding has topped $4,000 at the time of this writing. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. If you want to earn the ire of your neighbors — and to be clear, we really wouldn't recommend it — click on over to Cars & Bids to view the auction. There are four days left to hit the "bid" button. Consider yourself warned. Related Video:

Watch the Ferrari LaFerrari get put through its paces by Top Gear and Evo

Do you know what today is? Well, besides being the anniversary of the signing of the Louisiana Purchase (thanks France!), Consumer Protection Day in Thailand and Michael Waltrip's birthday, April 30 marks the expiration of the first of two embargoes on the Ferrari LaFerrari.
That means you're probably going to see quite a bit on Ferrari's hypercar in the coming days. One of the first things we've stumbled across is this video from our friends at Top Gear. Now, this isn't Jeremy, James and Richard playing with the ultra-powerful hybrid (although it's probably only a matter of time before the LaFerrari arrives at Dunsfold), it's the TG magazine crew. It's best to think of the Top Gear video as an appetizer, though.
The main course comes from Evo, which has a far lengthier and more detailed spot, running a full 10 minutes of fun. Dickie Meaden samples the 900-plus-horsepower monster on both the Italian roads and the Fiorano test track. We won't spoil the outcome, so be sure to take a look below for both videos.