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Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

Race Recap: 2015 US Grand Prix was wet, wild, and historic

Hurricane Patricia made landfall in Mexico this weekend, and made her presence known throughout the South. For two of the three days of the grand prix weekend it rained non-stop in Austin, so badly on Saturday that qualifying had to be postponed until Sunday morning, and then it only stayed dry enough to conduct the first two sessions. At the end of a tricky, slippery Q2 Nico Rosberg had put his Mercedes-AMG Petronas on the front row, one tenth ahead of teammate Lewis Hamilton. The German had done the best he could to keep his hair-thin chances of a World Championship fight alive. Daniel Ricciardo lined his Infiniti Red Bull Racing chassis in third ahead of teammate Daniil Kvyat, both drivers having moved up a place because Ferrari driver Sebastian Vettel took a ten-spot grid penalty for using a fifth engine and dropped to 13th. Continuing the two-up theme, Sergio Perez and Nico Hulkenberg were fifth and sixth for Force India. After that came variety: Felipe Massa in seventh for Williams, Max Verstappen for Toro Rosso in eighth, Fernando Alonso looking good in the rain for McLaren in ninth, and Romain Grosjean for Lotus in tenth. When the lights went out, Turn 1 set the tone. Pole position is on the outside line at Circuit of the Americas, and Hamilton had got himself far enough under Rosberg by the time the two got up the hill that Rosberg had to stick to the outside through the corner. At the corner exit Hamilton used the entire track, pushing Rosberg wide, their cars touching. As Rosberg left the track and dropped back to fourth, Hamilton radioed to the team to say the contact was unintentional. The two Mercedes' and two Red Bulls animated the front. Rosberg passed Ricciardo at the end of a Virtual Safety Car period employed to let the marshals clean the debris at Turn 1. Kvyat started chasing down Hamilton until the Russian ran wide and let Rosberg and Ricciardo through, then Rosberg ran wide on the next lap to let Ricciardo through. On Lap 15, Ricciardo passed Hamilton through the esses to take the lead. After the first round of pit stops the Aussie still had the lead, followed by Rosberg, Kvyat, Hamilton, and Vettel. Then Rosberg got around to take the lead and Vettel closed in on Hamilton as the Brit duked it out with the Russian. Rosberg showed excellent speed, building up a nine-second gap on Ricciardo, but a Safety Car period erased that when Marcus Ericsson had to park his dead Sauber on the inside of the track after Turn 10.

Totaled Ferrari Dino sculpture sold for $250k

How much would you pay for a Dino? Although this sub-brand was supposed to offer lower-cost alternatives to more expensive Ferraris, a 246 GTS model with "chairs and flares" can fetch big bucks. The later, more angular 308 GT4 is less desirable, but the one above just sold for $250,000. Oh, and it's a complete wreck - an absolute write-off, as you can see. So how did it fetch a quarter million when it wouldn't be worth that much in pristine condition? Because this is art.
"Objet trouvé", to be specific, the French term for a common object elevated to a work of art. That's the way it ended up displayed by celebrated French artist Bertrand Lavier and the Galerie Yvon Lambert at the Foire Internationale d'Art Contemporain (FIAC) art fair at the Grand Palais in Paris last week, where an unnamed Turkish collector paid the landmark price. Let's hope he's not planning on restoring it, because it's apparently worth more totaled.