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Auto Mergers and Acquisitions: Suicide or salvation?

We love the Moses figure. A savior riding in from stage right with the ideas, the smarts, and the scrappiness to put things right. Alan Mullaly. Carroll Shelby. Lee Iacocca. Andrew Carnegie. Steve Jobs. Elon Musk. Bart Simpson. Sergio Marchionne does not likely view himself with Moses-like optics, but the CEO of Fiat Chrysler Automobiles recently gave a remarkable, perhaps prophetic interview with Automotive News about his interest and the inevitability of merging with a potential automotive partner like General Motors. Marchionne has been overtly public about his notion that GM must merge with FCA. For a bit of context, GM sold 9.9 million vehicles in 2014, posting $2.8 billion in net income, while FCA sold 4.75 million units and earned $2.4 billion in net income, painting a very rosy FCA earnings-to-sales picture. But that's not the entire picture. Most people in the auto industry still remember the trainwreck that was the DaimlerChrysler "merger" written in what turned out to be sand in 1998. It proved to be a master class in how not to fuse two companies, two cultures, two continents, and two management teams. Oh, it worked for the two individuals at both helms pre-merger. They got silly rich. And the industry itself was in a misty romance at the time with mergers and acquisitions. BMW bought Rolls-Royce. Volkswagen Group bought Bentley, Bugatti, and Lamborghini, putting all three brands into their rightful place in both products and positioning. No marriages there, so no false pretense. Finally, Nissan and Renault got married in 1999. A successful marriage requires several rare elements in this atmosphere of gas fumes and power lust. But a successful marriage requires several rare elements in this atmosphere of gas fumes and power lust, the principle part being honesty. Daimler and Chrysler lied to each other. The heads of each unit, the product planners, and finance all presented their then-current and long-range forecasts to each other with less-than-forthright accuracy. Daimler was the far greater equal and no one from the Chrysler side enjoyed that. The cultures were entirely different, too, and little was done to bridge that gap. Which brings me back to the present overtures by Marchionne to GM. "There are varying degrees of hugs," Marchionne stated in the Automotive News piece. "I can hug you nicely, I can hug you tightly, I can hug you like a bear, I can really hug you." Seriously?

Is America's last cheap minivan worth it?

Take a good look at this beauty. Because once she's gone there may be no turning back. The minivan market has been completely decimated over the past fifteen years. I could list all the former brands (dead and alive) that once formed the lynchpin of parenthood for this inherently conservative market. But that would involve at least fourteen commas, three sets of parentheses, and possibly even one 2000s-style recount. Back then, middle-class America loved these people-movers and even the well-to-do were glad to load them up with unique luxuries such as power sliding doors, captain's chairs, integrated child seats, and DVD players that entombed cacophonous kids into a temporary silence. Back in the '90s, the minivan market regularly realized well over a million sold units a year. In 2000, minivans finally hit their familial peak of 1.4 million vehicles in a year with the help of two top-20 bestsellers: the Dodge Grand Caravan and Chrysler Town & Country. Today the minivan just isn't popular. This year it'll likely represent only a half-million in annual sales, with not a single minivan hitting America's top 30 in overall volume. But as I always tell folks, "If you want a deal, you have to hit 'em where they ain't." So you want a cheap and affordable minivan for cash money that isn't a 15-year-old Plymouth in purple? Does it have to be new? Really? Well, if you're married to that type of person, this Grand Caravan with the American Value Package is the cheapest thing going. Deals can also be had on the mini-minivan Mazda5, but since it's been discontinued due to low demand, let's focus on the still-popular Chrysler minivan. The cost for this 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan according to TrueCar is right around $19,500 depending on where you live in the USA. But let's take a look at the 2015 models instead since they tend to have even stronger discounts during the wintertime thanks to manufacturers and dealers who are busy shoveling out all this older inventory. If you opt for a 2015 model instead, you're looking at a market price right around $17,800 and luckily these minivans are still sitting in multitude. Wanna click those rebate and incentive buttons? If you currently lease or finance a FIAT or Chrysler product, have AAA coverage, and finance the car with FCA, you can make off like the proverbial bandit for a price of only $15,229 before the dealer inflicts their bogus fee money dance.

Cold start comparison: 2020 Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio vs. 2013 Dodge Challenger SRT8

The 2020 Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio is a five-seat, compact luxury sport sedan packing 505 horsepower thanks to a 2.9-liter twin-turbocharged V6. My personal 2013 Dodge Challenger SRT8 392 is ... well ... not. It's a full-sized muscle coupe whose iron-block 6.4-liter V8 makes 470 hp in the very traditional way: it's freakin' huge, like everything else about the car.  On paper, these two have nothing in common beyond the fact that they were built by the same multi-national manufacturing entity.  But if paper were the be-all and end-all of automotive rankings, everybody would buy the same car. And we don't, especially as enthusiasts. Whether it's looks or tuning or vague "intangibles" or something as simple as the way a car sounds, we often put a priority on the things that trigger our emotions rather than setting out to simply buy whatever the "best" car is at that particular moment.  So, what do these two have in common? They both sound really, really good. Like looks, sounds are subjective. While a rubric most assuredly exists in the world of marketing (attraction is as much a science as any other human response), we have no way of objectively scoring the beauty of either of these cars, and the same applies to the qualities of the sound waves being emitted through their tail pipes.  But we can measure how loud they are. In fact, there's even an app for that. Dozens, as it turns out. So, I picked one at random that recorded peak loudness levels, and set off to conduct an entirely pointless and only vaguely scientific experiment with the two cars that happened to be in my garage at the same time.  For the test, I opened up a window and cracked the garage door (so as not to inflict carbon monoxide poisoning upon myself in the name of discovery), and then placed my phone on a tripod behind the center of each car's trunk lid. I fired each one up and let the app do the rest. I then placed my GoPro on top of the trunk for each test so that I could review the video afterward for any anomalies.  I started with the Challenger. The 6.4-liter Hemi under the hood of this big coupe is essentially the same lump found under the hood of quite a few Ram pickups, and it has the accessories to prove it. Its starter is loud and distinctive. Almost as loud, it turns out, as the exhaust itself. As its loud pew-pew faded behind the V8's barking cold start, we recorded a peak of 83.7 decibels. In the app's judgment, that's roughly the equivalent of a busy street.