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Five reasons to love, or hate, the culture of German cars

A few months back, we took a 500-foot view of the culture of American cars, dissecting prides and prejudices on our way to the conclusion that automotive allegiances can be simultaneously embraced and derided. We had so much fun with the narrative that we decided to do it again, this time taking a look at Germany and its world-renowned lineup of automakers, including the likes of Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche and Volkswagen, among others. Join us below as we discuss the points and counterpoints that make or have made the German auto industry what it is today. And remember, Germany did pretty much invent the automobile, after all... The V12 Engine If America is known for the proliferation of the V8 engine, an argument could be made that Germany owns the V12. Yes, of course, other companies have created V12 engines – Ferrari, Jaguar and Lamborghini immediately come to mind – but the big 12-cylinder powerplants from BMW and Mercedes-Benz, in particular, have proven to be some of the most effortless, luxurious and downright over-built engines the world has ever seen. These days, having 12 cylinders is more a case of wretched excess than ever before, and yet, you can still stroll into your local BMW or Mercedes dealership and get a brand-new 760i, S600 or even an over-the-top G65 AMG, efficiency be damned. Best of all, since the majority of these German powerhouses depreciate as fast as an anchor sinks, nearly any auto enthusiast who dreams of a dozen cylinders can satisfy their carnal desires. Current Star: 2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 View 28 Photos Diesel Engines Remember how we talked about those glorious V12 engines? Well, you can even get one from Audi that runs on diesel. If your compression-ignition fantasies err more on the side of fuel savings, that's no problem, either. Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen have got you covered, with engines starting as small as 800 cubic centimeters (Smart Fortwo). If you want something a little more practical, it's hard to argue with a VW Golf TDI, which will provide plenty of space for you and three of your best friends, plus a fair bit of luggage, all while returning 50-ish miles per gallon. For the purposes of this discussion, we'd rather focus on the asinine levels of torque provided by Germany's high-end diesel engines than the lower-end fuel sippers.

BMW 4 Series configurator comes online

The best money in the world might be configurator money - you never run out of it and you can never spend it the wrong way. We hope you're ready to dip into your configurator savings account, because it's time to start speccing out the 2014 BMW 4 Series, the coupe having just arrived in the virtual world.
There are four possible opening gambits: the 428i for $40,500, the 428i xDrive for $42,500, the 435i for $46,000 or the 435i xDrive for $48,000. After you've chosen your first move, there are three trim options: the $1,400 Luxury Line that features lots of chrome and wood (shown), the $1,700 Sport Line that adds lots of gloss black and contrasting trim color and stitching, or the $3,100 M Sport that offers the M Estoril Blue hue and lots of M-division specific accessories.
Starting with the 435i xDrive and M Sport, we then added items like the 19-inch wheels ($900), the Dynamic Handling Package ($1,000), Cold Weather Package ($700), Premium Package ($2,200), Tech Package ($3,150) and the Lighting Package ($1,900) on top of any other box we could check. The total, after the $925 destination and handling charge: $66,749.

2015 BMW M4 Coupe

Launched out of the seat by a huge, unexpected dip in the road, yet still held largely in place by the smooth webbing of my safety belt, I clench my teeth waiting to come back to earth. A tenth of a second later, the M4 Coupe touches down and my body is slammed into the leather seat cushion. All of the air is forced out of my lungs upon landing, but the BMW's chassis, suspension and steering appear unfazed. Pleasantly surprised, I mash the accelerator to the floor in giddy pursuit of the car in front of me - an absolutely identical 2015 BMW M4 coupe.
A cavorting game of cat-and-mouse on a desolate twisty canyon in southern Portugal is an excellent way to explore the real-world driving dynamics and performance of BMW's all-new M4 Coupe. But to truly push it to the limit - without having to worry about oversize depressions in the asphalt - requires a dedicated racetrack. Graciously, my hosts have rented the famed Autódromo Internacional do Algarve racetrack, or Portimão circuit, for an afternoon of automotive debauchery.
It's hard to believe this passes for work.