2013 Bentley Gt V8 9k Miles Like New $185,470 Msrp on 2040-cars

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Behold my hideous Bentley!

Do you all just love my hideous Bentley? It's so insane and tacky. I'm sure if I were to actually order this a British lord somewhere would dispatch his valet to slap me.  Who knows where I'll figuratively be in two weeks' time, but today turns out to be the day I turned to see just how tacky certain car configurators will let you get. Admittedly, they're almost all high-dollar, extra-low-volume cars. If you try to play around on a Honda configurator, you'll have wrapped things up in about 30 seconds.  But Bentley, now that's a company that'll let you get tacky on its configurator. I chose the new Continental GT Convertible because the lowered roof would make it easy to demonstrate in pictures the level of my tackiness. From there, it was this eye-searing Apple Green, though I was certainly tempted by Azure Purple and Magenta. Roof choice? I was expecting there to be more, nevertheless, Claret red seemed like a suitably awful pairing.  Inside, well, let's crack those knuckles and get to work. Luckily, Bentley lets you choose two different leather colors: Main and Secondary "hides" with five choices of how to split those colors. Sorry, colours. I chose Colour Split B cause it seemed to have the most of each colour. For the Main Hide, I went with Hotspur, an extremely red shade of red that would be home in an early 2000s BMW. Cumbrian Green and Damson purple were tempting, but they just weren't bright enough, and I thought they wouldn't pair poorly enough with the Secondary Hide: Newmarket Tan, which is pretty damn orange. You can't see it, but the interior of the roof is Blue. For the veneer, I went with Tamo Ash, 'cause yuck. Finally, throw on some black wheels, and voila, my tacky Bentley. I must say, this is most definitely tackier than the real Bentley Flying Spur I once tested that looked like South Beach threw up inside. So much white and teal. Oh, and that ash wood. A Bentley rep told me they ordered it by mistake.  Now, Bentley isn't the only high-dollar outfit that lets you indulge in such tacky fantasies. Most other British brands do, including Mini, and the Germans offer plenty of color choices as well, usually through some special custom program like Audi Exclusive. Porsche makes it especially easy, though, which you can see in my other craptacular creation below.

Ares Design Coupe for the Bentley Mulsanne is the grand tourer we dream about

Bentley exited the grand coupe business when it made the last of 550 Brooklands models in 2011. The UK carmaker said it will make 19 examples of the Mulsanne Grand Convertible, but that doesn't count as a coupe. So when a U.S. Mulsanne owner wanted his Bentley with a roof but a touch less four-door-y, he went to Italian coachbuilders Ares Design. And not only did Ares do the thing, they did it magnificently. The resulting two-door is called the Ares Design Coupe for the Bentley Mulsanne, and the first of them was just handed over in Beverly Hills in time for a Pebble Beach appearance. Modena-based Ares started with a three-dimensional scan of the sedan, then reworked that CAD file into the coupe they sought by changing just about everything behind the A-pillars. A reprofiled roof replaces the old one, and it falls into a new backlight and longer rear decklid. The engineers moved the B-pillars rearward to install longer front doors, and fabricated new side impact protection for the portals and rear quarter panels. New chrome surrounds on the windows maintain the look as if from Crewe. Yet because the roof and doors are made from carbon fiber, they contribute to the coupe's 992-pound overall weight loss compared to the donor four-door. Inside, Ares replaced the front seats with more rakish thrones, redesigned the interior trim panels to flow with the body style, and matched the wood and leather as if all were factory original. Under the unchanged hood, a tuned ECU means the 6.75-liter twin-turbo V8 produces more than 591 horsepower and 811 pound-feet of torque, both healthy improvements on the stock 505 hp and 752 lb-ft. Completing the transformation, the coupe sits 20 millimeters lower on "a sportier suspension." One report said that a friend of the California owner likes the car so much that a second two-door has already been commissioned. Ares charges $460,000 for the service, to start, and it takes about six weeks. And no, that price doesn't include the donor Bentley. However, that's a lot less than Bentley would charge to make the swap, since the carmaker won't make the actual car. The Italian firm said it wants to keep volumes "ultra-low," yet, "As long as [Bentley] don't make one, we will continue." Although we haven't spoken much of Ares here outside of their Tesla Model S wagon, the firm led by ex- Lotus boss Dany Bahar has kept busy in its four years of operation.

Cheap shots in the 'cheap' Bentley: What can you get away with in a Flying Spur V8?

You know the feeling when you think you've finished something brilliant, then you sit down and take a look at it with fresh eyes and realize that, not only is it crap, but it was never really a good idea in the first place? That was me, a couple of weeks ago, as I was looking through the footage I shot while driving the 2021 Bentley Flying Spur V8. Yes, after seeing reactions to the car on social media, I actually thought it would be funny to do a tongue-in-cheek bit where I suggested that Bentley provide owners with a feature designed to help keep "poor" people away. It was a half-baked idea, conceived to be lighthearted and in a vague nod to British humor. The point was not to make fun of anybody's financial situation (except my own, in a round-about self-deprecating way), but the product turned out a bit, well, cringe-inducing. Out of selfish desire not to lose the work that went into it (or another opportunity to talk about this gorgeous car), I decided to repurpose it with some help from "Dr." Byron. As you can see, he's doing house calls now.  I've been reviewing cars for more than a decade now, and even with that much time under my belt, I can still count on my hands the number of truly remarkable cars I've had the chance to drive. This Flying Spur stands out as the most expensive, the most exclusive, and, well, pretty much just the most car I've ever experienced. As I alluded to in my initial write-up, this is the kind of car that causes somebody like me — a person of comfortably modest means — to rethink even the most fundamental aspects of an otherwise conventional road trip.  Over the years, I've had people compliment, degrade and otherwise question my life choices based on cars I barely put 100 miles on. It's part of the gig. I was once rather directly approached and asked for money while gassing up a 2012 Porsche Cayman; no "hello," no preamble, no sugar-coating. Just, "Can I have some money?" So no, that tweet didn't actually make me self-conscious about cruising around in such a valuable and exclusive automobile, but the mere act of driving it did, and the discomfort was even further juiced by my knowledge that what I was driving wasn't even the "expensive" Flying Spur. I found myself wanting to tell people, "Look, you really shouldn't be that impressed. This is the cheap one." The question follows thusly: What is a cheap Bentley, and why does it need to exist?