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Behold my hideous Bentley!

Do you all just love my hideous Bentley? It's so insane and tacky. I'm sure if I were to actually order this a British lord somewhere would dispatch his valet to slap me.  Who knows where I'll figuratively be in two weeks' time, but today turns out to be the day I turned to see just how tacky certain car configurators will let you get. Admittedly, they're almost all high-dollar, extra-low-volume cars. If you try to play around on a Honda configurator, you'll have wrapped things up in about 30 seconds.  But Bentley, now that's a company that'll let you get tacky on its configurator. I chose the new Continental GT Convertible because the lowered roof would make it easy to demonstrate in pictures the level of my tackiness. From there, it was this eye-searing Apple Green, though I was certainly tempted by Azure Purple and Magenta. Roof choice? I was expecting there to be more, nevertheless, Claret red seemed like a suitably awful pairing.  Inside, well, let's crack those knuckles and get to work. Luckily, Bentley lets you choose two different leather colors: Main and Secondary "hides" with five choices of how to split those colors. Sorry, colours. I chose Colour Split B cause it seemed to have the most of each colour. For the Main Hide, I went with Hotspur, an extremely red shade of red that would be home in an early 2000s BMW. Cumbrian Green and Damson purple were tempting, but they just weren't bright enough, and I thought they wouldn't pair poorly enough with the Secondary Hide: Newmarket Tan, which is pretty damn orange. You can't see it, but the interior of the roof is Blue. For the veneer, I went with Tamo Ash, 'cause yuck. Finally, throw on some black wheels, and voila, my tacky Bentley. I must say, this is most definitely tackier than the real Bentley Flying Spur I once tested that looked like South Beach threw up inside. So much white and teal. Oh, and that ash wood. A Bentley rep told me they ordered it by mistake.  Now, Bentley isn't the only high-dollar outfit that lets you indulge in such tacky fantasies. Most other British brands do, including Mini, and the Germans offer plenty of color choices as well, usually through some special custom program like Audi Exclusive. Porsche makes it especially easy, though, which you can see in my other craptacular creation below.

You can buy the Queen's Bentley Mulsanne for $285,000

Want to feel like a king or queen driving around town? You'll want a Bentley. After all, the British automaker furnished the royal household of Queen Elizabeth II with the bespoke State Limousine, and delivered the very first new Bentayga to Her Majesty as well. But if you're keen to get a little closer to that sovereign feeling, might we suggest buying the Queen's own Bentley – namely, the Mulsanne you see here. Listed for sale on Auto Trader by a dealership in Surrey, this particular Bentley Mulsanne was reportedly used exclusively by the British monarch from 2012 to 2014. She's said to have used it during the Diamond Jubilee celebrations that marked her 60th year of reign four years ago, as well as for a visit to Prime Minister David Cameron's office at 10 Downing Street for his inaugural cabinet meeting. We wouldn't be surprised if she took over the wheel from her chauffeur from time to time, either. The Muslanne is said to have only 5,826 miles on the odometer – 5,000 of which was racked up in Her Majesty's service, secret or otherwise. On that note, there is no mention of 007-esque gadgetry or basic armoring you might expect from a head of state's car. Provenance aside, this being a Mulsanne, it's motivated by Bentley's ancient 6.75-liter V8, not the gauche 6.0-liter W12 or 4.0-liter V8 in the nouveau riche Continental. It's done up in classic dark green with a tan leather interior and walnut burr veneer trim, and can be yours for GBP199,850 – or $285k at today's exchange rates. Of course you could pick up a new one for not much more, but then you wouldn't be riding around in the Queen's own wheels, now would you? Related Video: Featured Gallery 2012 Bentley Mulsanne - ex-Queen Elizabeth II News Source: Auto Trader Bentley Car Buying Luxury Sedan bentley mulsanne queen elizabeth ii

Bentley's Bentayga Mulliner takes two-tone to a new level of excess

Because a normal Bentayga just isn't enough for some people, Bentley revealed its most exclusive SUV yet, the Bentayga Mulliner. Now this isn't a wild custom model like the Mulsanne Grand Limousine by Mulliner. Rather, this is like past special-edition Mulliner cars including the standard-length Mulsanne, and the Continental GT, which featured some unique trim and detail touches. Immediately apparent is the two-tone paint scheme. This is a new option that will be introduced on the Bentayga Mulliner, but will trickle down to the rest of the lineup this April. In addition, this special Bentayga comes with exclusive 22-inch wheels with floating centers to keep the badge upright, a la Rolls-Royce wheels. Bentley also adds unique badging and standard color-coordinated lower body extensions, while the lower grilles are finished in chrome. The car that will be on display at the Geneva show will feature a special marquetry inlay up front showing the Monte Rosa mountain range. The two-tone scheme of the exterior is continued inside, with the front and rear seats upholstered in different colors of leather. In the Bentayga above, black leather covers the front seats while the rears are done in an ivory-colored hide. The seats all feature two colors of contrast stitching, as well. Even the wood veneers are finished in an exclusive dual tone. On the dash, the wood is completely black, but along the front doors, it fades to a natural finish that is continued on the rear doors. Breaking from the obsession with multiple colors, the Bentayga Mulliner also features a wine bottle cooler and crystal champagne flutes. You could put rose in one if you're really not into matching, though. If even these upgrades don't do it for you, there are a couple other special options available. Bentley offers the Linley Hamper by Mulliner, which is a pretty serious picnic basket featuring Linley china and silverware, as well as a refrigerator. This special Bentayga can also be ordered with the Mulliner Tourbillon automatic clock by Breitling, which the BBC reports was a $160,000 option when introduced during the SUV's debut. Bentley will begin taking orders this spring, though pricing for the SUV was not released. Expect it to cost a good chunk more than the standard model's $229,100 base price. Related Video: