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Watch two Audi RS4 Avants play Death Race with paintball

Nothing to see here, folks, except a 2013 Audi RS4 Avant weaponized with a high-caliber paintball canon. No, make that two of them, one black and one white, playing paintball in an abandoned aircraft hangar. At this point, there's probably not more to add than "Watch the video below" while we get on the horn to find out how to get this as a factory option. And the wagon itself, since that's not coming here, either...
But what's cooler than two high-powered Audi wagons with paintball guns and push-button firing in a video set to cheesy music from a bad eighties rip-off of Top Gun? One car can dump paint out of spigots under the rear bumper, the other has paintball grenades. And now we've really said enough. So watch the video, and the two behind-the-scenes vids, below.

Next-gen Audi Q7 shows off its wares ahead of Detroit

Audi has put the Q7 on a massive diet, trimming over 700 pounds. Meet what is sure to be one of the bigger debuts at the upcoming 2015 Detroit Auto Show. The next-generation Audi Q7 has been the subject of spy shots and conjecture for quite some time. After all, it was easily the oldest vehicle in the Audi range, having hit the market way back in 2006. But with this new model, Audi has comprehensively updated its fullsizer, adding some cutting-edge tech, updating some classic engines, and taking a whole lot out. As is the theme nowadays, particularly among large crossovers and SUVs, Audi has put the Q7 on a massive diet with a mix of ultra-high-strength, hot-shaped steel and aluminum, trimming over 700 pounds of body fat and lowering the Q7's weight to just under 4,400 pounds. This was accomplished while maintaining virtually identical dimensions to the current model. While Audi USA hasn't released its info on the Q7, the Euro-spec model will continue to offer a pair of engines that should be very familiar to US consumers, with a 3.0-liter, supercharged V6 gas engine and a 3.0-liter TDI V6. The European engines, though, have had their CO2 emissions halved, while actually increasing performance (we should expect similar from the US engines). The 3.0-liter TDI has been bumped up from 240 horsepower to 272 ponies, while torque is up from 406 pound-feet to 443. The 3.0-liter TDI has been bumped up from 240 horsepower to 272 ponies, while torque is up from 406 pound-feet to 443. This extra grunt has trimmed the 0-60 time from a leisurely 7.3 seconds down to 6.3, while the fuel economy has jumped up to 41.3 US miles per gallon, converted from the European cycle (so expect the EPA numbers to be a bit lower). The supercharged 3.0-liter, meanwhile, has been amped up to match the output of its application in the S4 sport sedan, jumping from 280 hp and 295 lb-ft to 333 ponies and 325 lb-ft. Once again, the 0-60 time falls dramatically thanks to the power bump and weight loss, dropping from 7.7 seconds to a far more zippy 6.1. The most exciting news is the long-rumored arrival of the Q7 E-Tron, a plug-in hybrid that's mated to a six-cylinder diesel engine and Quattro all-wheel drive. Audi claims this world-first production powertrain will return 138.4 US miles per gallon, emit less than 50 grams of CO2 per kilometer and allow the Q7 E-Tron to travel up to 35 miles on electric power alone.

The Volkswagen Group switches official language to English

The Volkswagen Group can't be fairly thought of as entirely German anymore, so the news that the company is switching its official language to English to help attract managers and executives is a rational, if surprising, decision. While many VW Group companies are still staidly German in character and culture, consider the other companies that it controls: Bentley (British), Bugatti (French), Ducati and Lamborghini (Italian), Skoda (Czech), Scania trucks (Swedish), and SEAT (Spanish). Not to mention the large Volkswagen Group of America operation, which constructs cars in Chattanooga, TN. Volkswagen's explicit motivation is to improve management recruitment – making sure the company isn't losing out on candidates for important positions because they can't speak German – and that's inherently sensible in a globalized economy. Particularly considering, like it or lump it, that English is the lingua franca of said global economy. It also should make it inherently easier to communicate between its world-wide subsidiaries and coordinate operations. It's hard to say for sure if this will have any impact on the consumer, although it's easy to see the benefits if, say, VW Group hires some American product planners or engineers and they push for features and designs that more closely suit American needs. After all, the US is a hugely important market for any manufacturer, and so the switch to English almost certainly has something to do with the outsized influence of the US in the global economy. And there doesn't seem to be a downside from a purely rational perspective, although it could mean that the Group's corporate culture becomes less German. Whether that's a good or a bad thing depends on your perspective. Related Video: Image Credit: Krisztian Bocsi/Bloomberg via Getty Images Plants/Manufacturing Audi Bentley Bugatti Porsche Volkswagen SEAT Skoda