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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part two

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and can hold his breath longer than he can go without swearing. For Part One, click here. Or you can skip ahead to Part Three here. I write about surfing for a living. If you can call it a living. Basically means I spend my days fucking around and my wife pays for everything. Because she's got a real job that pays well. Brings home the bacon. Very progressive arrangement. Super twenty first century. I run a surf website, beachgrit.com, with two other guys. It's a strange gig. More or less uncensored. Kind of popular. Very good at alienating advertisers. My behavior has cost us a few bucks. I'm terrible at self-censorship. Know there's a line out there, no idea where it lies. I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. For contests I do long rambling write ups. They rarely make much sense. Mainly just talk about my life, whatever random thoughts pop into my head. "Can you do something similar for Le Mans?" "Sure, but I know absolutely fuck-all about racing." "That's okay. Just write what you want." "Will do. But you're gonna need to edit my stuff. Probably censor it heavily." So here I am. I spent the last week trying to learn all I can about the sport of endurance racing. But there's only so much you can jam in your head. And I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. While I rambled things were happening. Tracy Krohn spun into the gravel on the Forza chicane. #89 is out of the race after an accident I missed. Pegasus racing hit the wall on the Porsche curves. Bashed up front end, in the garage getting fixed. Toyota and Porsche are swapping back and forth in the front three. Ford back in the lead in GTE Pro. #91 Porsche took a stone through the radiator, down two laps. Not good. The wife and I are one of those weird childless couples that spend way too much time caring for the needs of their pet. French bulldog, Mr Eugene Victor Debs. Great little guy. Spent the last four years training him to be obedient and friendly. Nice thing about dogs, when you're sick of dealing with them you can just lock 'em in another room for a few hours. You don't need to worry about paying for college.

Nine-time Le Mans winner Tom Kristensen to retire

Le Mans icon Tom Kristensen is retiring. The Danish driver, who was an integral part of Audi's absolute dominance at the 24 Hours of Le Mans, captured a record-breaking nine wins at the legendary endurance race, along with six overall victories at the 12 Hours of Sebring in a career that spanned 26 years.
"Over the past couple of months, my thoughts of retiring have been stronger, and therefore, it feels right to inform you today that I am retiring from motor racing," Kristensen told Autosport. "I still feel I am in peak physical form and possess the necessary mental toughness both in and outside of the car: it has been important for me to stop while I am still strong and able to deliver top performances at Audi."
While the World Endurance Championship's season-ending race at Interlagos on November 30 will be Kristensen's last as a driver, it won't be the end of his long-running association with Audi. According to Autosport, TK will take on a new role as an ambassador for the German marque and will work with team's drivers in an unspecified role.

Audi's next R8 snapped running the 'Ring nearly naked

Following the debut of the Lamborghini Huracán, work is now well well under way on its cousin. That, of course, would be the next-generation Audi R8, the followup to the model that put Ingolstadt on the supercar map in 2006 and has been on the market ever since. That's an eight-year lifespan, though to be fair, for 2014 it has gotten a pretty meaningful update. Still, that's a long lifecycle, even if the Gallardo with which it shares its underpinnings was around even longer. In other words, it's about due for replacement.
Fortunately, that's just what Audi has in the cards. We've seen prototypes wearing heavy camouflage lapping the Nürburgring a couple of times over the past few weeks, but now it's been snapped nearly completely undisguised, with largely bare black bodywork giving us an even better look at what to anticipate.
So what are we looking at here? A sharper-looking take on the existing design, for starters, so onlookers and customers alike shouldn't have any trouble identifying this as an R8 - but a newer one at that. It seems to take some cues from the new TT, particularly around the headlights, with more squared-off elements throughout. There's an adaptive rear wing poking out the back and more pronounced side-blade intakes between the doors and the rear wheels, which themselves are wearing ultra low-profile rubber.