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Adam Carolla is world's the least helpful test drive co-pilot

If you were going to test drive a new car, who would you want to take with you? Your spouse? A friend? Maybe an automotive journalist? Well take it from us: there's one of us riding shotgun just about every time we go to drive anything, and we're not all we're cracked up to be.
How about a celebrity comedian? Well, that largely depends on which comedian we're talking about here. Some - say, Jerry Seinfeld or Jay Leno, for example - might be more helpful than others, being more or less schooled in the finer points of the modern automobile. Adam Carolla might seem like he belongs on that list too, but in this latest video for a friends at Edmunds.com, the one-time host of The Car Show on Speed TV seems bent on being as comedically intrusive as possible. Which may be funny, but helpful? Not so much. See what we mean in the video below, and the next time you go to test drive a new car, you just might find the world's most popular podcast host climbing in with you.

These are the cars with the best and worst depreciation after 5 years

The average new vehicle sold in America loses nearly half of its initial value after five years of ownership. No surprise there; we all expect that shiny new car to start depreciating as soon as we drive it off the lot. But some vehicles lose value a lot faster than others. According to data provided by iSeeCars.com, trucks and truck-based sport utility vehicles generally hold their value better than other vehicle types, with the Jeep Wrangler — in both four-door Unlimited and standard two-door styles — and Toyota Tacoma sitting at the head of the pack. The Jeep Wrangler Unlimited's average five-year depreciation of 30.9% equals a loss in value of $12,168. That makes Jeep's four-door off-roader the best overall pick for buyers looking to minimize depreciation. The Toyota Tacoma's 32.4% loss in initial value means it loses just $10,496. The smaller dollar amount — the least amount of money lost after five years — indicates that Tacoma buyers pay less than Wrangler Unlimited buyers, on average, when they initially buy the vehicle. The standard two-door Jeep Wrangler is third on the list, depreciating 32.8% after five years and losing $10,824. Click here for a full list of the top 10 vehicles with the least depreciation over five years. On the other side of the depreciation coin, luxury sedans tend to plummet in value at a much faster rate than other vehicle types. The BMW 7 Series leads the losers with a 72.6% drop in value after five years, which equals an alarming $73,686. BMW's slightly smaller 5 Series is next, depreciating 70.1%, or $47,038, over the same period. Number three on the biggest losers list is the Nissan Leaf, the only electric vehicle to appear in the bottom 10. The electric hatchback matches the 5 Series with a 70.1% drop in value, but since it's a much cheaper vehicle, that percentage equals a much smaller $23,470 loss. Click here for a full list of the top 10 vehicles with the most depreciation over five years.

More next-gen Audi TT details revealed

We still only have rumors about the third-generation Audi TT said to be scheduled for launch in late 2014, but based on a report in Car and Driver, we know a tiny bit more about it. The base engine will be the 2.0-liter turbo four-cylinder with direct injection, but horsepower is said to be 220 horsepower - that would make for a nine-hp jump over the current output. The TTS would get an even larger power boost, going from 265 currently to 300 hp. The TT RS would stick with it's 2.5-liter five cylinder, with output increased from 360 to 380 hp. If Audi includes a nice dose of the go-light engineering involved in the TT Ultra Quattro, these horsepower numbers might be even more impressive.
As with the TT concept and first-generation production car, though, it sounds like the brand is concentrating on aesthetics. It's been widely reported that Audi wants to reclaim the juju conjured by the original TT, and while we still don't know what that means outside, CD reports that the interior gets simplified, "futuristic-feeling" styling thanks to instruments served up on a TFT screen. Remember, the first Audi TT had a cockpit that Car magazine dubbed simply, "The Cabin."
About a year after the coupe comes, the Audi TT Roadster will show up and should be joined by the next A5. The news for the next version of the subtly beautiful coupe is the arrival of a plug-in hybrid with torque vectoring via an electric motor for the rear axle. Beyond that is wilder speculation of an A9, which might be called Q9, and which was the four-door-coupe flavor of the month two years ago when it was possibly going to share a platform with the Lamborghini Estoque. According to the CD story, the thinking now is around "a combination of fastback and crossover proportions," a two-fer we've yet to see any carmaker pull off without making us go, "Oh. I see."