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Five reasons to love, or hate, the culture of German cars

A few months back, we took a 500-foot view of the culture of American cars, dissecting prides and prejudices on our way to the conclusion that automotive allegiances can be simultaneously embraced and derided. We had so much fun with the narrative that we decided to do it again, this time taking a look at Germany and its world-renowned lineup of automakers, including the likes of Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche and Volkswagen, among others. Join us below as we discuss the points and counterpoints that make or have made the German auto industry what it is today. And remember, Germany did pretty much invent the automobile, after all... The V12 Engine If America is known for the proliferation of the V8 engine, an argument could be made that Germany owns the V12. Yes, of course, other companies have created V12 engines – Ferrari, Jaguar and Lamborghini immediately come to mind – but the big 12-cylinder powerplants from BMW and Mercedes-Benz, in particular, have proven to be some of the most effortless, luxurious and downright over-built engines the world has ever seen. These days, having 12 cylinders is more a case of wretched excess than ever before, and yet, you can still stroll into your local BMW or Mercedes dealership and get a brand-new 760i, S600 or even an over-the-top G65 AMG, efficiency be damned. Best of all, since the majority of these German powerhouses depreciate as fast as an anchor sinks, nearly any auto enthusiast who dreams of a dozen cylinders can satisfy their carnal desires. Current Star: 2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 View 28 Photos Diesel Engines Remember how we talked about those glorious V12 engines? Well, you can even get one from Audi that runs on diesel. If your compression-ignition fantasies err more on the side of fuel savings, that's no problem, either. Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen have got you covered, with engines starting as small as 800 cubic centimeters (Smart Fortwo). If you want something a little more practical, it's hard to argue with a VW Golf TDI, which will provide plenty of space for you and three of your best friends, plus a fair bit of luggage, all while returning 50-ish miles per gallon. For the purposes of this discussion, we'd rather focus on the asinine levels of torque provided by Germany's high-end diesel engines than the lower-end fuel sippers.

Audi wiring cars with cameras to see how ferret-like creatures tear them apart

In this German-language video, we see a batch of Audi engineers wiring up an A3 Cabriolet with a network of small cameras. The goal? To help identify where and how stone martens - small, ferret-like animals - attack cars. The idea is to observe the animals' behavior around the vehicles, see where they go, what they chew on, and work to develop solutions.
So why go to all this trouble? Cars and trucks are easily the single-most complex consumer good, and they're subject to the widest variety of conditions, regulations and usage cases that one could possibly imagine. They also come with very high consumer expectations for reliability. Thus, it's up to automakers to vet their vehicles for just about every possible scenario and threat - including weasels. And if that means Audi has to go hire Walter Simbeck, animal trainer to the stars, and string up a bunch of GoPros on an A3, well, they're game.
In speaking with Autoblog, Mark Dahncke, senior product manager at Audi of America said it best:

Audi Super Bowl ad will star creepy Doberhuahua dog

Poor little doberhuahua, so misunderstood. In fact it's so misunderstood that we don't even know what it is. Not that something like that would stop Canadian songstress and animal rights advocate Sarah McLachlan from plucking at our heartstrings, though, in the teaser video below.
The apparent half-breed mutt offspring of a doberman and a chihuahua is set to star in Audi's upcoming Super Bowl commercial and appears to be what was terrifying the dog-show announcers so thoroughly in the last teaser video. Audi previously announced it was focusing its Big Game ad buy on the new A3, but we'll have to wait another week to find out just how it will manage to equate its new compact luxury sedan ad hatchback to a small dog with a big bite.
In the meantime, scroll down for the teaser video.