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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Audi updates A3 with Virtual Cockpit, more goodies

Audi has announced a series of updates to the A3 family. And though we're still waiting for confirmation on its arrival here in North America following its introduction back in Europe next month, the revisions bode well for Ingolstadt's baby. Chief among the enhancements for the latest A3 is the inclusion, as promised, of the company's Virtual Cockpit infotainment system. One of our finalists for 2016 Tech of the Year, the Virtual Cockpit moves many of the controls and menus you'd expect to find in the center console display into the instrument cluster to make them easier for the driver to navigate (albeit at the expense of a co-pilot's assistance). Audi also used the occasion to install some of its latest driver assistance systems, including active lane assist, pedestrian protection, and available traffic jam assist that helps the vehicle crawl along in bumper-to-bumper conditions. The revised A3 also features new front and rear fascias, incorporating a sharper grille and new head- and taillights, with available Matrix LED units up front. Globally speaking, Audi is offering the updated model with six different engines – three gasoline and three diesel – including a 1.0-liter inline-three for the first time. There's the hybrid E-Tron model as well, and the flex-fuel G-Tron model that can run on natural gas. More enticing though is the new S3, which benefits from a ten-horsepower boost to produce a more substantial 310 hp and as much as 295 pound-feet of torque. With sedan, convertible, and three- and five-door hatchback bodystyles, that makes for a lot of combinations, though not all engines will be offered in all forms. Watch this space for word on US availability. In the meantime, you can scope out all the details on the various variants in the press release below and the high-resolution images in the exhaustive gallery above. Related Video: Technology Update for the Compact Bestseller – the new Audi A3 - New engines: 1.0 TFSI and newly developed 2.0 TFSI - Infotainment and assistance systems from the full-size class - First deliveries in summer The successful model from Audi is now even more attractive: The Audi A3* approaches the starting line with new driver assistance systems and engines as well as newly designed headlights and taillights. Also new on board is the innovative operating and display concept, Audi virtual cockpit. The new A3 is available in a three-door version and as a Sportback, a sedan and a Cabriolet.

Believing in evolution | 2018 Audi S4 and S5 Second Drive

Sales figures for cars in America have plummeted. In a robust overall market, where vehicle purchases have reached record-setting levels, car sales fell by an incredible 9 percent last year alone. SUVs and crossovers are drinking their milkshake, now accounting for nearly two in every three purchases, a profound shift from cars' majority dominance as recently as 2012. Audi's all-new A4 sedan was a bright spot in the brand's car portfolio in 2016, increasing by 16 percent, but A6 and A8 sales fell 18 and 17 percent respectively, and the A5 coupe's sales tanked by a shocking 35 percent. Mitsubishi sold more than three times as many Outlanders last year as Audi did A5s. Were you even aware that Mitsubishi still sold vehicles in America? This trend is expected to continue, perhaps even escalate. But Audi refuses to give up on sedans and coupes. Credit the Teutonic monomania that requires a tit-for-tat escalation and diversification into every existing and invented market segment in which its rivals from BMW and Mercedes compete or don't. (An eminently sales-resistant five-door hatchback, the A5 Sportback, joins Audi's US car lineup in a couple months.) Whatever the instigation, we appreciate it. Cars are an intrinsically more efficient, and more fun, way to move people and goods around compared to SUVs. And Audi's new S4 sedan and S5 coupe prove that we live in a golden age of cars, especially enthusiast cars. At first glance, you might not notice much of a difference between the outgoing cars and these all-new models. Part of this is because the design is extremely evolutionary – though when you start with a pair of models that so elegantly nailed their respective categories, it makes sense not to smash the mold. Closer examination will reveal additional facets, creases, and muscularity in the revised designs. It will also reveal greater differentiation between the related pair, especially around the headlamps, grille, and hood, all of which are meant to be more sporting and exclusive on the two-door, a play to fit with its more sporting and exclusive nature. You might place your faith in other more magical ideas, but we're believers in evolution. The interiors of the cars are similarly evolutionary, and also far more similar. This is not a bad thing. Audi continues to excel in cockpit innovation. We credit it with reinventing the dashboard with the amorphously shaped LCD-screened Virtual Cockpit.