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VIDEO: Saturn's demise? We blame Jim Gaffigan*

Click above to view the video after the jump
When the deal to sell Saturn to Penske Automotive fell through, there were likely a lot of surprised people at General Motors' Detroit, MI headquarters. Penske released a statement saying that the reason the deal fell through after months of good faith negotiations was that a suitable post-GM supply of vehicles could not be found. However, after reacquainting ourselves with over eight minutes of outtakes from Jim Gaffigan's old Saturn commercial, we're thinking the comedic pitchman is to blame.

Guess when this car will plunge through the ice, win $1,500

In Michigan's Upper Peninsula, a sad-sack Saturn raises money for charity while awaiting an icy fate. The 1998 Saturn is a bright orange beacon inviting folks to make a bet on the coming of spring. When the weather warms up enough and this Saturn sinks, someone is going to take home $1,500. It's the Iron Mountain–Kingsford Rotary Club's annual car-plunge contest, a fundraiser that takes bets on when this car will fall through the ice. The contest had been run in years past and was resurrected in 2015. In the old days, the hapless cars sank to the bottom of the lake, which is actually a flooded old iron mine. In today's more enlightened environmental era, this Saturn is attached to a cable affixed to an anchor on shore, allowing it to be yanked out of the water. It also has been drained of all fluids, degreased, and had its powertrain, battery, and radiator removed (which means it weighs about 1,800 pounds). The lake sits alongside a main highway, assuring maximum visibility for the car and the contest. But it's not only locals who are invited to take a chance; anyone 18 and over can bet via this online link. Ten dollars buys three chances. Whoever most closely guesses the date and time that the Saturn slips under the waves takes home $1,500. Betting closes March 15. The past four years have seen the car fall through on March 17, April 2, April 4, and April 26 — although, as they say, past performance is no guarantee of future returns. And remember: Bet with your head, not over it. Here's video of last year's fateful moment ...

GM nixes fleet-only Chevy Captiva Sport

Well, guys, it looks like Saturn is finally dead in the United States once and for all. According to Automotive News, Chevrolet has discontinued production of its fleet-only Captiva Sport - a rebadged Saturn Vue - after three years on the market. The very last US-spec Captiva Sport was built in Mexico in August. GM will still produce the vehicle for sale in the Mexican market, as well as for export.
GM initially offered the Captiva Sport for rental fleets as a way to free up capacity for the sightly larger Chevy Equinox and GMC Terrain crossovers, which, according to AN, had been in short supply. The Captiva Sport also did a nice job protecting the resale values of its other similar-sized CUVs because they didn't have to play in the fleet market. But with Chevrolet preparing to launch its subcompact Trax CUV in the US, the automaker will soon have a clear, three-tier crossover lineup without the Captiva Sport. The Trax fills out the bottom end, followed by the Equinox and the seven-passenger Traverse.
For now, renters seeking a taste of 'Classic GM' will have to whet their appetites with the fullsize Impala Limited.