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Report: Saturn owners offered $2,000 to stick with GM products

After its decision to euthanize Oldsmobile, General Motors knows exactly what happens when it mothballs one of its brands: GM loses market share to the competition. The General is trying to stop history from repeating itself with Saturn customers by offering $2,000 on the hood of every car and crossover donning the ringed planet badge. Automotive News says the offer actually started on February 2 and runs until the end of March. To be eligible for the $2,000 bounty Saturn owners must have leased or purchased their Saturn at least six months ago. Interestingly, those owners don't even have to turn in their Saturn to be eligible for the cash.
AN reports that research company R.L. Polk says even before Saturn went on the endangered species list, it lagged other GM nameplates in the all-important aspect of customer retention. The mass exodus from Saturn loyalty predictably intensified at the end of 2008 as customers became anxious over the future of the brand. For its part, GM insists that all Saturn warranties will be upheld and customers looking for service can still go to a GMC, Chevy, Buick or Cadillac dealership.
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Car thief lands Saturn on Fresno roof

Residents of a Fresno, California apartment building recently awoke to debris falling from their ceiling after a car thief managed to execute a perfect parking job on the structure's roof. Police say 26-year-old Benjamin Tucker stole the Saturn sedan from a nearby house before striking either a curb or some rocks, vaulting the vehicle into the air and onto the roof. After seeing his predicament, Tucker leapt from the roof and fled the scene. Or at least he tried to. Tucker broke his leg in the fall and only made it around a quarter of a mile from the crash when police picked him up.
No one else was harmed in the stunt.
Tucker had two outstanding warrants for his arrest at the time for a hit-and-run and evading police. A special crane had to be called in to remove the Saturn from the apartment roof and the structure will indeed require repairs. Hit the jump for a news report on the incident.

Guess when this car will plunge through the ice, win $1,500

In Michigan's Upper Peninsula, a sad-sack Saturn raises money for charity while awaiting an icy fate. The 1998 Saturn is a bright orange beacon inviting folks to make a bet on the coming of spring. When the weather warms up enough and this Saturn sinks, someone is going to take home $1,500. It's the Iron Mountain–Kingsford Rotary Club's annual car-plunge contest, a fundraiser that takes bets on when this car will fall through the ice. The contest had been run in years past and was resurrected in 2015. In the old days, the hapless cars sank to the bottom of the lake, which is actually a flooded old iron mine. In today's more enlightened environmental era, this Saturn is attached to a cable affixed to an anchor on shore, allowing it to be yanked out of the water. It also has been drained of all fluids, degreased, and had its powertrain, battery, and radiator removed (which means it weighs about 1,800 pounds). The lake sits alongside a main highway, assuring maximum visibility for the car and the contest. But it's not only locals who are invited to take a chance; anyone 18 and over can bet via this online link. Ten dollars buys three chances. Whoever most closely guesses the date and time that the Saturn slips under the waves takes home $1,500. Betting closes March 15. The past four years have seen the car fall through on March 17, April 2, April 4, and April 26 — although, as they say, past performance is no guarantee of future returns. And remember: Bet with your head, not over it. Here's video of last year's fateful moment ...