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Clever video selling Saturn Ion "sex machine" will catch your eye

"When I think of the most impressive, industry changing, earth shattering vehicles of recent history, the first car that comes to my mind is the 2004 Saturn Ion Coupe." So says Brad Holt of Dallas, Texas. And he's right, clearly. One look at the specific specimen Holt is selling will be enough to convince you that the car "will absolutely tickle every one of your fancies," as claimed by the seller himself.
We suggest you watch the video below to see just how perfectly Holt's sex machine will fit into your life. The end result will no doubt be exactly as Holt ends his video: "You need it. Like a lot." You can also read more info from Brad in an interview here. If only our offices were a little closer to Dallas...

Report: Saturn owners offered $2,000 to stick with GM products

After its decision to euthanize Oldsmobile, General Motors knows exactly what happens when it mothballs one of its brands: GM loses market share to the competition. The General is trying to stop history from repeating itself with Saturn customers by offering $2,000 on the hood of every car and crossover donning the ringed planet badge. Automotive News says the offer actually started on February 2 and runs until the end of March. To be eligible for the $2,000 bounty Saturn owners must have leased or purchased their Saturn at least six months ago. Interestingly, those owners don't even have to turn in their Saturn to be eligible for the cash.
AN reports that research company R.L. Polk says even before Saturn went on the endangered species list, it lagged other GM nameplates in the all-important aspect of customer retention. The mass exodus from Saturn loyalty predictably intensified at the end of 2008 as customers became anxious over the future of the brand. For its part, GM insists that all Saturn warranties will be upheld and customers looking for service can still go to a GMC, Chevy, Buick or Cadillac dealership.
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First GM ignition switch trial dismissed

Robert Scheuer has agreed to dismiss his ignition switch claims against General Motors to bring a sudden stop to the first federal trial over the automaker's faulty parts. The lawsuit was the first of six cases that were a bellwether to set a precedent in the complaints. Scheuer didn't receive any financial settlement from GM, according to Reuters. Scheuer alleged that he was injured when his 2003 Saturn Ion went off the road and hit the tree. The airbag didn't deploy, which Scheuer claimed was the result of the faulty ignition switch. GM originally attempted to dismiss the trial over a lack of evidence, but US District Judge Jesse Furman set a January 11 start date for the case. During the trial, GM's attorneys accused Scheuer and his wife of lying and presented evidence of an allegedly altered check stub that they used to purchase a house. Scheuer's defense had claimed that the family was evicted from the home after memory loss from the accident caused Robert to lose the down payment check. After the allegations, Furman pushed for a settlement. He called the trial an "outlier" and "almost worthless as a bellwether case," according to Bloomberg. The next of the six trials begins in March, Reuters reports. Related Video: