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Five reasons to love, or hate, the culture of German cars

A few months back, we took a 500-foot view of the culture of American cars, dissecting prides and prejudices on our way to the conclusion that automotive allegiances can be simultaneously embraced and derided. We had so much fun with the narrative that we decided to do it again, this time taking a look at Germany and its world-renowned lineup of automakers, including the likes of Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche and Volkswagen, among others. Join us below as we discuss the points and counterpoints that make or have made the German auto industry what it is today. And remember, Germany did pretty much invent the automobile, after all... The V12 Engine If America is known for the proliferation of the V8 engine, an argument could be made that Germany owns the V12. Yes, of course, other companies have created V12 engines – Ferrari, Jaguar and Lamborghini immediately come to mind – but the big 12-cylinder powerplants from BMW and Mercedes-Benz, in particular, have proven to be some of the most effortless, luxurious and downright over-built engines the world has ever seen. These days, having 12 cylinders is more a case of wretched excess than ever before, and yet, you can still stroll into your local BMW or Mercedes dealership and get a brand-new 760i, S600 or even an over-the-top G65 AMG, efficiency be damned. Best of all, since the majority of these German powerhouses depreciate as fast as an anchor sinks, nearly any auto enthusiast who dreams of a dozen cylinders can satisfy their carnal desires. Current Star: 2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 View 28 Photos Diesel Engines Remember how we talked about those glorious V12 engines? Well, you can even get one from Audi that runs on diesel. If your compression-ignition fantasies err more on the side of fuel savings, that's no problem, either. Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen have got you covered, with engines starting as small as 800 cubic centimeters (Smart Fortwo). If you want something a little more practical, it's hard to argue with a VW Golf TDI, which will provide plenty of space for you and three of your best friends, plus a fair bit of luggage, all while returning 50-ish miles per gallon. For the purposes of this discussion, we'd rather focus on the asinine levels of torque provided by Germany's high-end diesel engines than the lower-end fuel sippers.

Topiary Joe sculpts the ultimate in green cars

Efficient cars are all the rage these days, but Joe Kyte has made a business of crafting some of the coolest green cars around – literally. Kyte is better known by his nickname Topiary Joe, and in addition to being a talented artist, he is also a real gearhead. Kyte has been creating topiaries for the last 20 years. It began when he was marketing greenhouse products to Walt Disney World and saw their plant sculptures. He realized that he could do that and since then, has done around 3,400 pieces. His most intriguing creations are the rolling sculptures that move and turn. Prices for those start at about $18,000 and can be as high as $30,000. While, the wheels are machine-bent, Kyte said all the other parts are done with a table vice and a Lincoln Electric arc welder. Topiary Joe is taking the Porsche (pictured above) to Palm Beach later this year to sell or says he may donate it to Porsche North America. If you really want it, the sculpture is currently on Craigslist for sale for $24,000. Topiary Joe has also had a life-long love of cars. "I was driving my first MG Midget before I was 14," he told Autoblog. He grew up in Oak Ridge, TN, where the Manhattan Project was partially developed. He says the town was full of recent college grads driving Mercedes, and he caught the bug. His automotive mentor was a nuclear physicist who taught him to repair and restore the Mercs. Kyte has completed commissions for Sandals Resort, Dreamworks, Absolut, and many more. Among his favorite creations is the Ferrari that he created at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix that is now exhibited at the airport each year before the race. Check out his website for a wider look at his work.

Porsche would have entered F1 if Audi had blocked its Le Mans program

Go back a few years and you may have heard rumors of Porsche heading into Formula One. That never came to pass - or at least, it hasn't yet - but that doesn't mean that it wasn't close to happening. That's how committed to returning to top-level motorsport competition Porsche has become recently.
Autosport reports that just as Porsche was merging fully into the Volkswagen Group, Zuffenhausen was weighing its options for a factory racing program. Le Mans was its favorite, which makes sense, as it remains far and away the most successful constructor in the history of the famous endurance race. But the strategists at Porsche were worried that its new corporate overlords at Volkswagen wouldn't support two LMP1 programs and would favor Audi, which has positively dominated the modern era of endurance racing, coming second only to Porsche in the number of Le Mans victories it has scored to date.
Porsche's Plan B was reportedly to head into Formula One, although it isn't clear if the German automaker was intent on starting its own team, buying an existing one or merely providing engines to other teams. Porsche fielded its own cars in F1 in the late 1950s and early 60s, and returned as an engine supplier with TAG to power McLaren in the 1980s, powering Niki Lauda and Alain Prost to the World Championship in 1984 and 1985.