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This man literally loves a Porsche [NSFW]

Think you know what "auto erotic" means? Think again. Because one man in Thailand has redefined the term. Caught on security camera footage this guy lurks into a garage, looks over both shoulders, evidently misses the camera, drops trou and has his way with a Porsche Boxster. When the tailpipe proved too hot (or otherwise inhospitable), he moves up to the radiator grille and – ahem – finishes up there. Sadly this isn't even the first time we've come across this particular perversion. We'd urge caution before viewing the video, not only because it's not suitable for a workplace environment, but because once you see it, you're bound to repeatedly blurt out, "Why, man!? Why?"

Porsche 911 R is made for the purist

Who wouldn't welcome a new version of the Porsche 911 with ultra-light weight, a GT3 RS motor, a stripper interior, and a core philosophy of driving fun over outright lap times? The iconic Porsche 911 has been getting larger and more complicated with each passing generation, and that hasn't sat well with every engineer at Porsche. So there's a ready market out there for 911 R, a limited-edition show stopper of just 911 cars, due to start production in Zuffenhausen, Germany, in May. It's a car that combines a unique version of the six-speed manual gearbox, plenty of raw, naturally aspirated flat-six power, and all the feel of a cut-price version of the 911 GT3 RS pseudo racer. Yes, Porsche is bringing the beloved six-speed stick back to the sharp end of the 911, even though the brand's quickest cars are now dominated by the seven-speed dual-clutch transmission (and the less loved seven-speed manual). Porsche insists that the RS is still the 911 to have if it's stopwatch-bashing you need to do. Instead, the 911 R developers focused on trying to give it the most driving purity it could cram in. The most traditional way for motorsport operations to do that has always been to rip out weight. And Porsche Motorsport didn't diverge from the plan. The 911's rear seats have been thrown out, along with a raft of other pieces Porsche Motorsport thought it could either do without completely, redesign to be lighter or stronger, or both. View 18 Photos The R cuts 110 pounds from the next-lightest 911 variant, hitting 3,020 pounds on the scales. The pound-cutting starts at the body and bores all the way into the 911 R's chassis components, though there are some obvious nods to the marketing department that survived the dietician's axe. There is a lot of 911 GT3 in the body, with a combination of a carbon fiber (bonnet and front guards), a magnesium roof, polycarbonate front and side "glass," and aluminum everywhere else. The R cuts 110 pounds from the next-lightest 911 variant, hitting 3,020 pounds on the scales. While the 911 R has lurid (and deletable) red or green racing stripes as standard, it's not supposed to be as wild looking as the GT3. Porsche replaced the GT3's adjustable, tall-standing rear spoiler with a more-subtle pop-up version, and the R uses a rear diffuser under the bumper to offset any loss of rear downforce. The rear seats are gone, and the two remaining seats use carbon fiber shells upholstered in tartan cloth (another nod to early 911s).

Aston Martin Valkyrie could beat that new Nurburgring record, Red Bull F1 boss says

During last weekend's Austrian Formula 1 Grand Prix, Race Fans asked Red Bull F1 team principal Christian Horner about the Aston Martin Valkyrie. The question was whether the coming hypercar, a collaboration between Red Bull and title sponsor Aston Martin, could beat the stunning lap record around the Nurburgring just set by the Porsche 919 Hybrid Evo. Horner's answer: "I'm not sure a Formula 1 car could actually do it, but I think that the Valkyrie — certainly the track version of the Valkyrie — could be a contender." That's a qualified endorsement, but it still counts as support merely putting the Valkyrie AMR Pro in the conversation. Let's compare, shall we? The 919 Hybrid Evo is based on the 2017 World Endurance Championship-winning 919 Hybrid. Freed from motorsport regulations, Porsche Motorsport upgraded numerous performance bits. The 2.0-liter, turbocharged V-four-cylinder went from 500 hp to 720 hp. The two KERS units went from 400 hp to 440 hp. We don't have a figure for downforce, but items like active aero, a larger front diffuser, optimized turning vanes, and larger rear wing increased downforce by 53 percent over the WEC car, at the same time being 66 percent more aero efficient. It weighs 849 kg dry, or 1,868 pounds because Porsche threw out everything that didn't contribute to speed. The Valkyrie specs we know of so far state a weight of 1,000 kilograms, or 2,200 pounds. Powering that is a custom, naturally aspirated, 6.5-liter AMR Cosworth V12 with more than 900 horsepower, augmented by a kinetic energy recovery system contributing around 230 hp. According to Autocar's sources, the Valkyrie could generate up to 4,000 pounds of downforce at an aerodynamically-limited 225 miles per hour. That boggling number comes courtesy of Adrian Newey's prowess at making changes such as openings between the front wheel arches and the cockpit that work the front wing harder. The two-seater coupe's unrestricted top speed is 254 mph. Note, though, that the Valkyrie AMR Pro will be more powerful, lighter, and could have even more downforce. And since Aston Martin and Newey continue to work on the hypercar, specs could get even better before deliveries begin. Right now, Horner's suggestion doesn't seem all that outrageous. We'll also wait to see if the Mercedes-AMG Project One pokes its nose in the ring, too. Not long ago, AMG chief Tobias Moers said it's "reasonable to speculate" the F1-inspired hypercar could claim an absolute lap record around the 'Ring.