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Mark Webber treats Maria Sharapova to a Porsche 918 Spyder joyride

We don't much like Mark Webber right now. Part of being a racing driver is dealing with promotional stuff. It's not hard to find a driver that can't stand all this nonsense, whether it be promoting a product, meeting investors or attending some obscure event. Even a driver of Webber's caliber - a former Formula One driver for Red Bull Racing and a member of Porsche's factory Le Mans team - has to serve his time at the promo events.
Somehow, though, we don't think the Aussie driver minds this particular promo detail. In the video below, Webber attends the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart. He then takes tennis superstar Maria Sharapova out for a spin behind the wheel of the Porsche 918 Spyder. The level of jealousy at the Autoblog office is palpable.
Take a look below for the video. And as we're super jealous of Mr. Webber, hop into Comments and caption the above photo based on what you think he's saying to Maria. Bonus points if you can work "vegemite" into the caption.

Why won't automakers slap on a turbo badge anymore?

Where have all the turbos gone? Not the actual pieces that go in the engine, mind you, those are everywhere these days as automakers downsize cylinder counts and boost efficiency and CO2 claims. But the turbo badges and fanfare are missing. Back when turbos were something to get excited about there was "turbo-driven," "turbonium," and "The Turbo Zone," among other silly lines. But now that basically every car is getting some sort of boost even on the lowliest trims, automakers are almost sliding in the turbos under the radar. Or if you look at some of the nomenclature, pretending they don't exist at all. The 911 Turbo badge shows where the car goes from being sane to lunatic. It's an important border. The latest automaker to hide that it has boosted the turbo presence is Porsche with the 2017 911 lineup. Even the standard Carrera models now get turbocharged flat-six engines, meaning the 911 Turbo models aren't quite as special as they once were. Porsche is in a sticky situation with this. The 911 Turbo, after all, signifies where the 911 family takes off from being a sports car and becomes the Ferrari fighter. The 911 Turbo badge shows where the car goes from being sane to lunatic. It's an important border, but now Porsche has crossed it and is trying to downplay the fact. There are a lot of exaggerations with displacement badges today, with claims the 2.0-liter turbo four in a Mercedes C Class equates to a naturally aspirated 3.0-liter six to make a C300. Volvo is pretty far up there, too, saying an XC90 T8 means V8 power, even though it's a 2.0-liter turbocharged and supercharged four with electric assist. I don't know why BMW can't just call the car a 330i Turbo, rather than inflating the numbers up to 340i. Saab tried all of this back in the '90s when it decided to turbocharge its entire lineup, from light pressure units all the way up to models actually called "Saab 9-3 HOT" (for high-output turbo). But then the brand deleted any external reference to the turbo under the hood and people wondered why they were buying a $42,000 four-cylinder convertible. And that didn't turn out well. Even though these turbo replacements often make more power than their naturally aspirated predecessors, they're very different engines. People knew something changed when they exchanged their leased 328i with a 3.0-liter six for a 328i with a 2.0-liter turbo four.

Porsche still deciding on one or two new 911 plug-in hybrids

Back in March, Porsche CEO Oliver Blume told Autocar that the coming Porsche 911 plug-in hybrid "will be the most powerful 911 we've ever had." That quote portended a 992-series 911 with 700 horsepower or more. A new report in Auto Express, however, suggests Porsche is having energetic debates about just what the 911's hybrid strategy will be, and that the only agreed-upon plug-in hybrid 911 so far is a milder version to sit in the middle of the range. Putting all our rumors in a row, in January, Automobile reported on an electrically-assisted 911 with 485 hp and 561 pound-feet of torque. The new AE piece effectively endorses that, saying the mid-range hybrid would follow the program established by the all-wheel drive Cayenne e-Hybrid that produces a combined 455 hp and 516 lb-ft. The 911 would naturally use a flat-six instead of the Cayenne's 3.0-liter V6, and the sports car would be tuned for better sound response and sharper reflexes. AE says fuel economy for this hybrid should be at least 80 eMPG, with emissions of less than 80 grams per kilometer. The current base Carrera is currently rated at a maximum 38.2 mpg in the UK, with minimum emissions of 169 g/km. The hybrid, fitted with a double-clutch gearbox and Porsche's mechanical all-wheel-drive system, could run from a stop to 62 miles per hour in less than four seconds, making it more efficient than a base Carrera and much faster than a Carrera 4S. AE says there remains only "the potential for Porsche to add a second, more powerful hybrid 911," and says its sources claim that's what's "causing the most consternation behind closed doors." This one would be the twin-turbocharged, 700-hp beastie that, as a series production car, would have a hard time not usurping the 540-hp Turbo, 580-hp Turbo S, and 607-hp Turbo S Exclusive. True, the hybrid would be handicapped with a 550-pound battery pack, but the instant acceleration and handling benefits of electric AWD — with no connection between the axles — could provide the final edge over the other three. As such, it makes sense that there'd be a whole lot of debate about a flagship 911 hybrid. On the other hand, such a monster seems like an eventuality in view of Porsche's electrified aspirations, the lessons gained from the 918 Hybrid and the 919 Hybrid Le Mans racer, and the fact that CEO Blume has already spoken. The Stuttgart carmaker expects a sales mix of 25 percent electric, 25 percent hybrid, and 50 percent conventional powertrains by 2025.